


My Twin

by PrinceofDarkness15



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben and Kylo are brothers, Cunnilingus, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Oral Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Tagging as I go, Twins, breylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 57,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofDarkness15/pseuds/PrinceofDarkness15
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 48
Kudos: 71
Collections: Finished Works





	1. Chapter 1

BEN SOLO

"I really can't believe that we're actually going to this stupid thing," Kylo said as he zipped up his jacket and exited my car. "Why's it so fucking cold this weekend?"

"Um.....because this is New York in November," I said. I closed my door and ran to catch up with him on the sidewalk. "We've lived here all of our lives. You should be kind of used to this by now, you dork."

"I'm used to being at home. Let's just go there instead," he said, turning to look at me.

Except for this pathetic facial expression that was silently pleading with me to let him off the hook, like it was looking in a mirror. Dark, shaggy hair--long enough to style on top but short enough that he didn't have to--and dimples that were noticeable even when we weren't smiling, causing elderly women to call us cute like they would to a baby in a grocery store line.

Even after almost thirty years, it was tough for most people to even be able to tell us apart. The woes of being identical twins. 

"I can't understand why you haven't had a date in a couple of months, Ren. You're a blast," I said dryly. "Aren't you supposed to be the friendlier one?"

"Friendly my ass," Kylo joked, letting out a small laugh. "And Mom always said that you were the friendly one, not me. And it's just that we haven't really talked to most of these people in years. It's weird."

I rubbed my hands together to get them warm. Kylo was right. It was freezing tonight. "That's why we're here, man. We can talk about all the crazy shit that we used to do."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "The fuck you talking about, Ben? You _still_ do crazy shit."

"Okay, so we'll tell everyone about all the new crazy shit we've been up to since high-school."

Kylo just rolled his eyes and laughed and he pulled his leather jacket tighter around his gigantic body. If anything was certain, it was that he was a goddamn beast---massive. Then again, I couldn't really complain here, because _I_ too, was a big-ass motherfucker.

Maybe it was a Solo's family gene or something that all of the children in the family gene pool would be insanely....large.

"Come on, you know it'll be fun." I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him towards me to mess up his hair so that I would look better than him.

Kylo laughed as he broke free of my hold and put an arm out in front of my chest to stop me. He raised his eyebrows at me, and then somehow---like we used to when we were kids---we telepathically counted to three and then took off at full speed to our destination, which in this case was the hotel hosting our ten-year high-school reunion. 

I'd promised Kylo we'd have fun, and I'd meant it. We hadn't made it to our five-year, but it was just as well. Five years ago we were still both living at home and working part-time.

Kylo had just graduated college with a business degree he wasn't even using, and I was spending every cent I made buying and restoring old motorcycles. Sometimes I made a few bucks, and sometimes---most of the time, if I was being honesty---my pastime had been more a labor of love than anything that might have turned into an actual career. It wasn't until we put our minds together and decided to open a custom bike shop about forty minutes outside New York with a close buddy of ours that our lives really begun. 

Stepping through the door to the hotel ballroom where our reunion was being held, I scanned the room for any familiar faces. Whether it was to find ones I wanted to avoid or ones I wanted to talk to, I wasn't actually sure.

When he didn't recognize anyone right way, we headed over to the bar. "What are you drinking tonight, bro?" I asked Kylo.

"We are at our high-school reunion, so let's throw it back to 2006." 

"You're going to finally tell Gwendoline Phase you've loved her since the second grade and then passed out on the hood of Dad's Sentra?"

Kylo's eyes grew serious, like they were lost in the memory of that ridiculous moment. "That was a bad night, okay? I didn't drink for a full year after that," he said with a shake of his head. He put his hands on the bar and called to the bartender. "Two Captain and Cokes, please."

"Ahh, "I said, tossing some money onto the bar after we got our drinks. "I totally forgot about your Captain phase."

"Me too," Kylo said. "I don't think I've even had one in almost a decade. They were my go-to for most of junior and senior year, though." He craned his neck and scanned the room. "So you think Gwen's even here? I heard she's divorced now."

"Where's you hear that?"

I looked at him, but he avoided eye contact. "Facebook."

"Seriously? You looked up her Facebook? Damn, you're such a stalker." I laughed. "If you plan to talk to her, you should probably make sure that it happens before your seventh drink this time."

"You're a wise man, Ben," Kylo said with a smile before taking a sip.

I shrugged. "Well, I _am_ your older brother." 

I truly loved making this distinction, but the truth was, Kylo and I shared everything. We always had. From our birthday to our group of friends to our clothes and cars. Growing up, nothing belonged to only one of us. Well, everything except girls, that is. 

That was a line we would never cross. If one of us was into someone---or especially if one of us had hooked up with someone---she was off-limits to the other brother. Forever. That rule limited Kylo's selection of females greatly when were in high-school, but I couldn't be blame for taking opportunities as they arose just because it made his potential dating pool smaller than mine. 

We talked at the bar for a few more minutes until we spotted a few of our old soccer teammates at a table with their lives. 

We hadn't seen any of them in person in at least seven years, and time didn't appear to have been all that kind to them. Poe Dameron and Finn Davis sat, their hands toying with beers they absentmindedly brought to their lips every so often, as their wives chatted amongst themselves. 

The guys didn't look thrilled, but they didn't exactly look annoyed either. Just....spacey. "BEN!" they yelled as we approached the table, greeting us with the name everyone used in high school.

It was easier for people to just either call us by BS or KR rather than by to tell apart. I'm not sure what they would've done if we had the same initials. We spent half hour or so catching up with Poe and Finn, who, it turned out, both had young infants at home. Tonight was their first real night out since their kids had been born, and they were exhausted. It had been their wives, Rose and Zorri, who had really wanted to come, since they were both graduates of our school as well.

They didn't look familiar to me, and their names didn't ring a bell either. Which hopefully meant I hadn't messed around with them in high school. 

"I'm already dreading getting up in the middle of the night," Finn said. "Little Alec wakes up every three hours."

"You act like you're the one wo has to get up every two to three hours to feed him," Rose joked. "I know you gained a few sympathy pounds, but, I'm pretty sure your breasts still can't feed a newborn."

They all laughed until explained that Zorri pumped as well as nursed, and in order for Poe to bond with their daughter, Zorri had gotten him some sort of bra that held bottles so the baby could "nurse" from him as well. The table of eerily quiet, and I realized what had most likely caused Poe's gray hairs.

"You're a good mom, Poe." I said.

"And you're _still_ an asshole, Ben," Poe countered with a laugh. "So what's up with you guys?"

"Well, I'm not breastfeeding," I answered. "So nothing too interesting exiting going on in my life. We live in the suburbs now."

Kylo added, "We opened a custom motorcycle shop with a close buddy of ours a few years ago in the East Village."

Finn and Poe looked simultaneously heartbroken and envious. "Oh wow," Finn said. 

"They build bikes," Poe added sadly.

Zorri rolled her eyes at Finn and her husband. "You two are so pathetic."

"Than you," Poe said. "That's what we're saying."

"That's awesome, though, dude," Finn said. "I'm really happy for you guys. You seem happy, and you're both in such great shape. Don't ever get married or have kids. It literally sucks the life right out of you."

I didn't disagree. Why Kylo longed for that life---one that would most likely ruin the one he already had---made absolutely no sense to me. I would much rather life life as it comes instead of getting attached to something that most likely wouldn't last. 

"Well, as much as I would love talking about male breastfeeding, I'm gonna have to excuse myself for a few minutes. Anyone want another drink?" I stood, waiting to see if anyone wanted to take me up on my offer, but no one did.

"Captain and Coke, right?" the bartender asked, probably, remembering me because there had been two of us when we'd ordered. 

I nodded. Instead of heading straight back to the table of desperate housewives---and I wasn't talking about the women---I decided to hang out at the bar for a bit. It would be a food vantage point to see the rest of the room, and I could skim the event page on my phone to see who was even here.

All these people looked so different from what I remembered---and from their profile pictures, which all seemed to be taken from a height than indicated the photographer was a drone and not an actual person.

I couldn't help but feel a little out of place, and the realization surprised me. I looked back and Poe and Finn's table and saw Kylo talking to them and laughing with another woman who looked completely unfamiliar to me. Maybe I was getting early Alzheimer's. For some reason, it had seemed important to go to this thing, to show everyone I actually made something of myself. Though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, I hadn't been anything to idolize in high school.

I had been an okay athlete with an even less okay GPA. I was busy scrolling through the reunion event page when a woman a few seats down the bar said, "You look like you're having about as much fun as I am."

I smiled at her and gave a wave as I mentally flipped through our graduating class in my head. But for the life of me, I couldn't think of anyone who looked like this woman--shiny chestnut shoulder-length hair and with hazel-green eyes. 

"Yeah." I laughed to myself about I must've looked, sitting at the bar alone on my phone instead of catching up with people that I hadn't seen in ages. "I guess I thought more of my friends would be here. I'm blaming their absence on the fact that this thing was held on the night before Thanksgiving. Who the hell even planned this?"

"I'm assuming our class president. But I can't quite remember who that is."

When she stopped talking, I realized I'd been nodding absently as she spoke. She was beautiful. Who is this woman?

"Gotcha," I said, ceasing the awkward movement of my head. "And what about you?" I asked, hoping to buy myself some time before she realized that I had no clue who she even was. "Did you see many of your friends here tonight?"

She brought up her hand to tuck her hair behind one ear, even though it was already there. "Yeah, a few." 

Her gaze dropped to the stem of her wineglass, and she spun it back and forth between her fingers like she was deciding on whether she should say what she was thinking. She opened her mouth but then closed it quickly.

"What? What is it?"

"It's going to sound really stupid to you, I'm sure." she said, closing the gap at the bar between us. "But seeing you actually made a dull night a little better. I was hoping that you'd be here, but I didn't see you post in the group, and you were only a "maybe" to attend. Are you here with anyone?"

"Just my better half," I joked, though the statement held more truth than she probably realized.

Her smile, which had been beaming only seconds ago, faded. "Oh." I didn't miss her glance at my hand. "So are you engaged, or..."

"Engaged?" I asked, confused. "No, I'm not engaged." 

"So she's your girlfriend, then?"

Suddenly realizing where her confusion must have come from, I quickly corrected her. "I'm not here with a fiancé or a girlfriend. When I say my better half, I meant my brother."

"Of course," she said, her voice sounding relieved. "I shouldn't be all that surprised. The only time I remember you being apart is when you had separate classes."

She laughed, looking embarrassed, but she wasn't the one who should have been feeling that, when I still had absolutely no clue who she was.

"That's rather nice of you to say that he's the better half." She took a sip of wine and scanned the room for a moment. "Though, I'd have to disagree on that seeing as I always liked you so much better."

I felt my eyes light up at her comment. "Really?" Why wouldn't I figure out who this beautiful woman was?

"Yeah," she said, shrugging. "Sorry. I know he's your brother, but he always kind of annoyed me. You look so much alike, but your personalities couldn't be more different. You're still a Solo since that's the only name anyone called either of you, but I always knew who was who." 

"That's quite impressive. Even our friends couldn't tell who was who half the time." _And it's even more impressive because I have no idea who you are._ "And that's fine about the name. Being called a Solo reminds me of home. I like it. So are _you_ here with anyone? Fiancée? Girlfriend?"

She laughed. "No girlfriend. I'm straight. I'm as boring as I was in high school."

"Well, I don't remember you being boring." _I don't remember you at all. God, please tell me your name. Please._

"You're still sweet as ever, I see."

I wasn't sure what would make her say that, because there weren't many members of the opposite sex that would've referred to me as a sweet teenager. I'd used charisma and popularity to boost an ego I shouldn't have ever had. In short, I was Jakku High's biggest asshole. 

"Thanks," I said, not really sure of an appropriate reply. 

"You're just as cute as you were back then too. Cuter, actually. You looked like you've bulked up a little," she said with a flush of her cheeks. We were both quiet for a few minutes before she continued. "Sorry, I don't really speak this directly to men I'm attracted to, but I feel like the since we know each other already, it's not as weird." Her face grew even redder. "Or maybe it's weirder, I don't know." 

Her comment, combined with the way she bit her lip as she looked at me, made my cock jump in my pants. I cleared my throat and tried not to stare directly at her breasts when my gaze dropped a bit.

"I work out."

 _God, I sound like such a tool._ I might as well have said, _I pick things up and I put them down in my best Arnold accent._

"I can tell," she said softly. She put a hand on my bicep and squeezed. "These look dangerous."

"And you look...." This time I couldn't help but take all of her in. I ran my gaze down the length of her hair---a petite frame with curves in all the right places, tits that would fit perfectly in my hands, a deep emerald green dress that brought out the color of her eyes and clung to her ivory skin. "....you look amazing. Like really amazing. God, I'm really great with words tonight, aren't I?" I said with a laugh.

"You're fine. That's awfully nice of you to say. You really have no idea who I am, do you?"

 _Shit._ Embarrassed, I brought my hand to my forehead. "I don't. I'm so sorry." 

She laughed, and then I did too. Despite my humiliation, I felt at ease knowing it wasn't a big deal that I didn't recognize her. 

"So are you going to tell me, or are you going to make me guess?"

She smiled, and I couldn't take my eyes off her lips--shiny and wet with whatever gloss she had on them. I wondered what it might taste like. "Rey Kenobi."

I immediately thought back to the girl in braces who'd had a locker across the hall from mine....the one who'd constantly had her books all over the floor in-between classes...the one who'd worn scrunchies and gave teachers homemade gifts at Christmas as a sixteen year-old. The nerd no guy at Jakku High wanted or desired.

It was nearly impossible to believe the woman sitting next to me was the same human being. It was amazing to think what time could do in just the span of ten years. 

"No shit! The last time I saw you, you were...." I left my sentence unfinished because I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't come out the wrong way.

"Performing a one-woman monologue on feminism for the talent show?" She covered her eyes and then lifted her hand to peek at me.

The memory made her blush even more, and I knew why. Rey and I hadn't run in the same circles. Mine had revolved around parties and motorcycles, while hers had focused more on woodwind instruments and Hi-Q competitions.

I'd always felt like she'd looked down on me a bit, but it wasn't like I'd had any real desire to hang out with her at the time either. 

"I was going to say..." 

"It's okay," she intervened. "I'm sure I knew what you were going to say, Kylo." 


	2. Chapter 2

REY KENOBI

Kylo and I talked for at least forty-five minutes---mostly about unimportant topics like the bartender's resemblance to Neil Patrick Harris and the horrendous choice in music that we presumed was also chosen by our class president, whose name we finally figured out after some cyber-research. 

Looking into those dark brown eyes that stared back into mine, I silently thanked myself for not leaving earlier when I'd spilled red wine on the dress. It wasn't that people could necessarily see it--the dress was dark and so was the room---but I've always been someone who believed in subtle signs. Like an umbrella not opening right when it begins to rain or charcoal toothpaste leaving black marks on my teeth before a date.

They were the universe's signals to me that I should stop what I'm doing and turn back or not even leave my house to begin with. That it was time to retreat because the mission was compromised.

 _Abort, abort,_ my brain had screamed after my wine spill. Tomorrow was another day, and I could always try again. Or not, because my ten-year high-school reunion only happened once, and there was no way my friends would have let me ditch them.

Truthfully, this whole reunion thing wasn't exactly my scene, but Jannah and Jessika had begged me to go. In high school, it had always been the three of us, and they said the thought of attending an even like this without me would be akin to TLC preforming after Left Eye's accident.

I'd pointed out that they _did_ , in fact, perform again after the singer's death, but my friends weren't having any of it.

I wasn't sure my absence would've had quite the same effect, but nonetheless, I acquiesced. And now I was glad that I did. "You remember Mr. Snoke, right?"

He thought for a few seconds. "You mean the old-ass physics teacher?"

I nodded, smiling. "Did you hear why he left the year after we graduated?"

"No, I didn't know he left at all." Kylo seemed interested, his head resting on his palm as he leaned casually on the bar waiting for me to continue. 

"Yup. He got Mara Jade Presley pregnant." I expected his eyes to go wide, and his jaw to drop, but he looked confused more than anything. 

"I'm not sure I know a Mara Jade Presley..."

"You really don't remember Mara Jade Presley? She was in Mr. Snoke's class with us our senior year?" Still nothing. "She had to use that emergency shower thing because her lab partner combined the wrong chemicals or something that one day in class."

"I must've been absent that day," he said, his expression falling like he was said that he'd missed it. I'd have sworn he was there, but it was impossible to be sure about something that had happened a decade ago. 

"Well, anyway, Mara Jade posted a picture of her ultrasound during her first semester of college and tagged Mr. Snoke in it. Turns out they'd been--" a shiver ran down my body with the thought of the divorced forty-year old---"dating since right after graduation."

There was the openmouthed stare I'd been hoping for. "No shit. That's fucking crazy, as well as gross. I didn't think old Snoke had it in him." He paused for a second. "Wait, do you think he was....they sure....did he get fired because something happened _before_ Mara graduated? That's so messed up."

I shrugged. A part of me felt guilty that I was using Mara's story as entertainment, but Kylo seemed interested, so I continued, "As Selena Gomez put it, the heart wants what it wants, I guess."

"I guess."

I laughed, but it was more out of embarrassment than horror. "I'm sorry, I'm horrible at small talk." 

"Everyone's that way sometimes." Whether it was because of the overheard lights or because I wanted them to, his eyes twinkled when he smiled. 

"Not you, though," I said, my voice more serious than it had been all night. "You could always talk to anyone. You're just naturally friendly."

He was quiet as he ran hid fingers over the condensation of his glass. "I try," he said. "But sometimes it's just really good acting."

"Are you acting now?"

His mouth parted, but he didn't speak right away. Instead, the left side of his lip quirked up in a way that made me imagine what it would be like to kiss it. "No," he said softly. "I'm really enjoying talking to you."

"Me too."

"Do you want to go somewhere that's a little quieter to talk?" he asked.

"I actually think I've had enough talking for one night." I said.

And then I did something I never would've had the guts to do the last time we saw each other. I leaned in to kiss him. I didn't worry if he'd pull away or if he'd tell me it was nice or that he didn't like me that way or any of the other million reasons I'd used to talk myself out of this in high school.

For once, I listened to the beating in my chest that told me just to do it. Make the first move. Be fearless. His lips touched mine, and I knew it was well worth the risk.

***********

I'd been thinking about this ever since I saw Kylo sit down at the bar. The slow but needy grind of our lips against each other's. And as our tongues tangled, I was thankful I'd grown more confident, more sure of myself over the years. I didn't even stifle the moan that found its way from my throat to his mouth, and when the vibration of it thrummed between us, he reached a hand around to the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. 

My entire body tingled with sensation, like he'd somewhere hit every nerve ending with that subtle touch. It had bee...well, let's just say it had been a while since a man---especially one as desirable as _this_ man---and kissed me like this.

Every sweep of his tongue across mine and every soft nip of his teeth on my lip had me forgetting, or simply not caring, that we were behaving like this in public.

And if I was being honest with myself, the idea turned me on even more. But there were things I wanted him to do to me--and things that I wanted to do to him---that were definitely not appropriate for public display. The thoughts had me pulling away, breathless.

"W-Would you like to come up to my room? Sorry, is that too forward? Or..." God, I sound like a hussy. "...I swear, I don't make out with men at bars like this all the time. Or ever," I corrected. "But I've had a crush on you since high-school, and---"

"So you said." He smiled wide, as if the comment a second time excited him as much as the unexpected kiss had. And based on the frustrated groan he's released when I'd pulled away, I'd have guessed that he was pretty excited. "Just for the record, I'm not even complaining," he added before closing the small distance between our lips again so he could part them with his tongue.

He tasted so sweet, like rum and mint and something extra spicy that I couldn't identify. I _wanted_ more, _so_ much more....

"We don't have to go upstairs if you're uncomfortable with it," he whispered against my lips.

"No, I want to," was the only reply that I could find. 

My attraction to him was stronger tonight than the girlish crush I'd had on him nearly ten years ago. Maybe it was something about seeing him all...and all grown up. The stubble on his jawline looked like it might grow into a full beard before the night was over. It had me wondering what it might feel like between my legs. _God help me._

Or it might have been his casual confidence and how easily we'd talked. Whatever it was about his man, I _wanted_ him. 

"Just so you know you have my word that I'm not going to tell the guys in the locker room after practice about whatever happens between us. This isn't high school, Rey. We're both two consenting adults. Two consenting, very turned-on adults. Speaking for myself at least."

He cleared this throat and shifted on the bar stool, drawing my attention to the bulge in his perfectly fitted dark jeans. If all these people weren't present, I'd be touching him all over right here in this room at this exact moment. 

"That applies to me too, you know?" I said feeling the blush spread across my cheeks. What had gotten into me? "So before I go back to the old Rey and let my inhibitions dictate my actions, I'd like to formally invite you back to my hotel room, Mr. Ren?"

His smile broadened into a ridiculous grin. "In that case, I'd like to accept, Ms. Kenobi."

And with that, I grabbed my bag, downed the last of my Cabernet, and headed toward the elevators. Once inside, our hands were everywhere. Mine slipping down his back to squeeze his muscular ass. His sliding up the outside of my thigh. And as his cock rubbed against my lower stomach, I wondered if we'd even make it to my room before I had him undressed. His chest was firm against mine.

I wanted to feel every part of him all at once---his lips on my nipples and between my thighs, his cock spreading me wide and splitting me open. 

"God, you're so sexy," he said against my collarbone. "Makes me so hard."

I wanted so bad to tell him that he was sext too. That I was so fucking wet already, he could use my thong as a Slip 'N Slide if he wanted to. But all that came out of my mouth was something completely unintelligible that manifested itself as an unsteady moan. 

We broke contact just long enough to exit the elevator and make our way down the short hallway. I fumbled with the key card, playfully swatting his hand away from its place on my hip as he stood behind me, his rock-hard cock pressing against my ass. 

"If you keep that up, I'll never be able to get this thing opened." 

He laughed softly, reaching around to place his hand on mine to steady it enough to key us in. Once we were both inside, he spun me against the door, pinning my hands over my head with one of his. I loved it when guys took control like this, letting me feel instead of think.

And all I wanted to do was feel. Feel his fingers and his tongue inside me, feel how thick and hard his cock was in my hand before I let it fill me.

"What do you want, Rey?" he asked.

He waited for the answer like it would not only turn him on, but also so he could ensure he wasn't doing more than I was comfortable with.

"Your mouth," I whispered. 

He released his hands. "You mean like this?" he asked, and I gripped his hair in pleasure as he made his way to the exposed part of my chest right above my dress. 

"Go lower."

He reached around to undo the clasp at the top and dragged the zipper down slowly. But he didn't let it drop. Pulling the fabric over my shoulder enough to gain access to my breasts, he brought his mouth to them, giving each of them his undivided attention.

"How about now?" he asked, working his tongue over my nipple softly before giving it a tug with his teeth.

"You're getting warmer," I said.

"I was hoping for hot," he teased.

"Oh believe me, this is _definitely_ hot."

He let go of my dress and allowed it fall to the floor at my feet. "But not nearly as hot as this," he said, sliding his hand over my exposed torso as he admired it.

He quirked his head to the side like he was deciding what to do with me next. After a few moments that only increased the tension, he lowered himself down to his knees. He pressed his mouth to the lace fabric of my underwear until it was thoroughly soaked with his saliva and my desire for him.

"You won't be needing these," he said, slipping them down my thighs and pulling them off my legs. 

He took a moment to kiss the inside of my ankle before working his way up the inside my legs. I was practically writhing when he finally slid one finger inside of me. It wasn't enough. It didn't make me feel nearly full enough, and the friction was lacking because of how wet I really was for him. His finger was a tease, but his tongue--God, his tongue---was better than any I'd ever felt.

And as he sucked on my clit before flicking it with the tip of his tongue, I knew I was going to last long. My legs shook with my need to cum, and I moved a hand over him everywhere I could reach--his hair, his neck, his shoulders---to show him how good this felt. 

He seemed to be enjoying it as much as I was, like going down on me was satisfying a hunger in both of us. "I'm going to cum," I practically yelled, searching with my other hand to grab on to something but finding nothing but the wall beside me.

It wasn't long before I couldn't hang on any longer, and my orgasm ripped through me, making my entire body pulse with its waves. 

"Oh my God! Jesus, Kylo! So fucking good!"


	3. Chapter 3

BEN SOLO

Nope. This was so fucking bad. 

There was no way I could stick around after a mistake like this. Not that hooking up with Rey had been a mistake or anything. It wasn't my mistake, anyway. I'd enjoyed every second of it, though she'd definitely enjoyed it more than me.

I'd been so fucking hard, aching with the need to cum, but as Kylo's name left her mouth, my erection left too. I needed to get the fuck out of here. But I couldn't just bolt. I would look like a completely asshole. Or more accurately, _Kylo_ would look like a complete asshole. 

Though, maybe he'd look generous and giving, unselfish. Like the Mother of Teresa orgasms. I was going to make Kylo look like an orgasm saint. He'd owe me big for this one. 

I rose slowly up Rey's body and thought about how it would be the last time I'd get to witness the sight. Against my better judgement, I kissed her along the way. "I should probably get going now," I said.

She laughed softly and buried her mouth against me. "You have curfew or something?"

I tried to smile but failed. "Nah. I just...I don't feel right about you to reciprocate."

"Who said anything about you asking?"

My dick twitched, growing slightly but not becoming fully erect. "I'm serious. You don't need to anything to me."

"Well, then how about I do something _with_ you?"

Fuck! And now my hard-on had fully reappeared, lengthening when she grabbed a hold of it. I swallowed hard before clearing my throat, a raspy breath escaping from me as I prepared to speak. "I'll be fine. It was satisfying enough to please you."

I felt like a lawyer giving his closing argument to a box full of doubtful juniors he wasn't sure would believe a word he was saying no bigger lie had ever been told. I was the opposite of satisfied, in every way possible. It was a toss-up between what I'd do once I got back to our dad's house.

Jerk off? Or cry into my pillow because an attractive, engaging woman only took me back to her hotel room because she thought that I was my brother, Kylo? Maybe I'd do both. Stumbling down the stairs of my dad's house the next morning, bleary-eyed and stomach growling, I wondered how many times I'd descended these steps in the same condition. Though this time I wasn't so much hungover as exhausted.

Last night been....weird. Like really fucking weird. And while I wasn't necessarily happy about how I'd left things with Rey, I'd felt them all the same, and that was the end of it.

As I walked into the kitchen, my gaze landed on Kylo sitting at the island bar, spooning globs of cereal into his mouth. When he caught sight of me, he arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"Where's Dad?" I asked before he could even get a word out.

He set down his spoon and leaned back in the stool. "Now, now, don't try changing the subject."

"What subject? We weren't even talking about anything." I rummaged around in the fridge, looking for something I felt like eating.

"What time did you get home last night, young man?"

Yanking a load of bread and some butter out of the refrigerator, I went about making toast, resolutely ignoring my brother. But he wasn't to be deterred. Appearing beside me, he hopped up on the counter and stared at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

"Well, my eyes must have been deceiving me, but, I saw that you were chatting up Rey Kenobi. My, my, my, how the times have certainly changed. She used to avoid you like you'd given her a raging case of the clap."

"Actually, you're wrong, I was the one who avoided her." I defended. The words sounded lame even to my own ears.

Truth was, until last night, I _had_ thought I was the one who avoided her. But I couldn't be so sure anymore. Maybe it was a mutual disdain. One that surely wouldn't get any better if she found who she really fooled around with after the reunion. Or during it. Whatever.

Kylo clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Sure you were, Ben. Anyway, back to your little disappearing act and late-night reappearance...."

He let the words hang there for me to pick up, but I stayed strong. For about fifteen seconds that is. A new record for me. "Okay, fine, you want the juicy bits, I went back to her hotel room with her. You happy now?"

Kylo laughed, the little fucking shit. "I am. I so am. But the real question here is, why aren't you?"

The next part was going to kill me to admit aloud. He was never going to let me live it down, and if I were capable of lying to him, I would've. But he knew me all to well---knew all my tells and avoidance tactics. 

Giving up on buttering my toast, I put everything down and gripped the counter, exhaling a deep breath before turning my head and looking at him. "She thought I was you."

I'd never seen someone's jaw as far as Kylo's did. "Say what?"

Sighing, I turned so that I was leaning against the counter. "She thought that I was you."

"Stop it." His eyes widened as his smile grew. "You seriously pretended to me just to get laid? Jesus Christ, Bill Cosby, I didn't realize that you were _that_ hard up."

"Like pretending to me would ever increase my chances of getting laid. Come on, bro, get real."

"It evidently worked in your favor last night," he said through a laugh.

Okay, I guess he had me there, but I wasn't going down without a fight to back up my case. "In my defense, though---" I began in a hesitant voice.

"Oh, am taking on your defense? Should I go and grab one of Dad's legal pads to take some notes?"

"Do you want to hear this story or not?" I asked, annoyed.

He made a zipping motion over his lips and stared at me like I was Santa Clause on Christmas Morning. The more he showed off that ridiculous grin, the more is really freaking pissed me the off. 

"So she actually came up to me, calling me Ren, like everyone else. Then she made a big deal about how she'd always been able to tell us apart and how she'd always liked me--well, _you_ , I guess--but couldn't stand you, though she was really talking about me, and fuck, this is really confusing." I ran my hands over my face before pushing them through my hair.

Grabbing at the longer strands on top and tugging, I tried to get last night straight in my mind and remember every single solitary detail.

"Basically I thought she was saying she had a crush on me, but she really thought that I was you the whole time, and I didn't realize it until she moaned your name while she was cumming."

Kylo was quiet for a moment, which was too long for him and for me. In fact, it was really starting to freaking me the fuck out. _Say something, bro, please. For once, this silence treatment is not helping my case in the slightest. I really need you to say something---like right now._

"Dude, it wasn't my fault," I practically whined. "How was I supposed to---"

"Shh, just stop talking for a moment."

_Oh, shit. is he actually pissed off at me? But It got me wondering---did he? Did he have feelings for her or something? Oh fucking hell...._

"Bro, tell me you didn't have a thing for her or anything, did you?" I asked, nervously.

"Ben, I said shut the hell up for a second."

Normally, I would've told him to go fuck himself and gone right on jabbering away, but he looked way too serious, and it was making my panic ratchet up to undiscovered levels. 

He closed his eyes and then started speaking. "I'm just trying to imagine what that would be like. To be balls-deep in a beautiful woman and her moan out my brother's name instead of mine." My eyes immediately popped open, and I could see the amusement within in. "How did you immediately not die of embarrassment? Seriously, the fact that you're still standing in front of me is a testament to how conditioned you've become to fucked-up shit happening to you. Because let me tell you, if that had happened to me, I'd have immediately jumped out of her window and hoped there was a bus waiting down there to finish me off."

"First off, bro, you're a fucking dick. And secondly, I didn't sleep with her. I just got her off." I turned back to my toast and took a bite. 

It tasted like cardboard, but eating was eating better than talking to my brother in this moment. Unfortunately, it didn't stop _him_ from talking to me. 

"So, on a scale from one to Tom Brady choking on the Super Bowl, how embarrassed are you right now? Because I feel like you definitely just cost yourself a complete championship there, dude."

I walked around him to out the butter back in the fridge and withdrew a bottle of water. "I'm not embarrassed."

"I call total bullshit."

"I'm not. It happened and I can't change it, so there's no pointing in harping on it."

"Oh, believe me bro, I am _so_ going to harp on it." He laughed as he got down from the counter. 

"I _really_ fucking hate you right now."

Kylo waggled his eyebrows at me, but if he was going to reply, it was cut off by our dad walking into the kitchen. _Thank the maker!_ I had heard quite enough from this---this asshole for the moment.

"Morning, boys. Have a good time last night?"

I heard Kylo take a deep breath to say God only knew what in response, which prompted me to elbow him in the stomach and step in front of him to his reaction from Dad. "It was fine, Dad. It was good seeing everyone again," I said.

"That's nice. You stayed out of trouble?"

"Of course," I replied quickly. 

"Some of us more successfully than others," Kylo mumbled, blocking the next elbow that came his way.

My dad either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. "You guys ready to help me get cooking?" 

"Yup." We both replied as we moved to start cleaning the counters. This was our tradition. Ever since Mom died when we were both fifteen, the three of us had done our damnedest to create a Thanksgiving meal that she'd be proud of.

It had been her favorite holiday--a day she said was just for enjoying your family without any other agenda---and we wanted to do it justice. 

In the thirteen years since she'd been gone, we'd gotten this down to a synchronized routine, but the timing always felt slightly of anyway. Like we were a relay team without an anchor to run the final stretch. But we ran away. How could we not? Sometimes it wasn't about winning.

Sometimes it was about finding the strength to finish the race and knowing how our mom was, that's what she would've wanted from us. Both of us.


	4. Chapter 4

REY KENOBI

My parent's house was only fifteen minutes away from the hotel, and I dreaded every passing second. Normally, I was more awake and had time to prepare myself to deal with my family, bit with the whirlwind of the reunion, I felt woefully unprepared. 

There was never really a time I looked forward to spending a prolonged chunk of time around my family, but holidays were by far the craziest.

There would be a beautiful meal waiting, made solely by my mother, who stayed up half the night preparing it, while my father would scrutinize whatever football came happened to be on before leading grace and carving the turkey as if both of those activities were more vital than the actual cooking that had taken place.

My younger sister would gush about her three daughters, who would be in their matching outfits so pristine, I wondered if she locked them in a glass case before bringing them over. My brother-in-law, Snap, would be mostly silent, nodding along so as to appear engaged in the conversation. Cleavers met the Stepford Wives.

Adding me into the mix gave the evening its sole flaw---like spending hours choosing the perfect arrangement of flowers for a date only to realize there was a wilted one hiding in the middle once you'd handed them over. I didn't know if it was always that way or if my memory was biased.

But for long as I could remember, I'd felt like didn't quite _fit_ with my family. I was too shy, too introverted, too disinterested in all the girly things my mom and sister enjoyed. 

So it became easier for me to exclude me than to drag me along. Or maybe it was just easier for _me_ to exclude _myself._

But today I had better things to fixate one: last night with Kylo Ren Solo for example. The crush I'd had on him through all four years of high school had slammed back into me as full-blown lust when I'd seen him at our reunion. 

Where his brother, Ben, had been obnoxious and insufferable, Kylo had been funny and charming. And apparently, he was still all those things all these years later. It had gotten a little awkward right before he left, but that was probably because he wasn't sure how I'd react to him not staying the night with me. Something he really needn't have worried about.

I wasn't a prude---casual sex was something I could engage in without getting clingy. But reciprocating his....generosity wouldn't have been a hardship. Quite the opposite, actually. 

I would've liked to have had my hands, and my mouth, all of him. I pulled into my parent's driveway, which immediately killed whatever fantasies I was having of licking Kylo like a melting popsicle. For now at least. Later, when I was back home, I was sure I'd revisit them. 

I got out of my car. shut my door, and popped the trunk to grab the pies I'd picked up. Not that I'd ordered any of them. My mother would never entrust me to pick out anything for our meal. I carried the three pies and a platter of cookies--my own contribution--along with my purse and tried not to drop everything as I trudged up the three steps that led to our front door.

I kicked it open the toe of my knee-high boots and waited for someone to open it, hoping that happened before I dropped everything.

The door flung open, and my mom stood there with one hand on her hip. "Did you have to bang on the door like that? We do have a doorbell, you know?"

 _Well, hello to you too, mom._ "My hands are full. And the last time I was here, it didn't work. Did Dad fix it yet?" 

Sighing heavily, she backed up so that I could pass. "No. He can barely put his shoes on the right feet. You know that. So _I_ fixed the doorbell myself." 

"Really? How'd you know how to do that?"

"You know, you really should have a bit more faith in me, honey." 

"You YouTubed it, didn't you?"

She nodded and scooted round me to hustle back to the kitchen. "You say "YouTube" like it's a dirty word," she called out over her shoulder.

"Sorry," I said, putting the desserts on the counter. "I'm really proud of you. Not a chance I would ever mess with anything electrical."

"Well, I turned off the power to the house first, you know to be the smart one in all this. Dad barely survived the half hour without _Dinners, Drive-Ins, and Dives."_ I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and noticed my mom do the exact same thing. When we caught each other, we both began laughing. "What's that?" my mother asked when she noticed the extra bakery box.

"Cookies."

"I didn't ask you to get cookies."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her, and I mentally praised myself because she definitely would have called me out on that one. "Sorry. I didn't know that I needed permission to do something nice for my family on Thanksgiving." 

She put down the spoon she'd been holding and crossed her arms. "Why do you always make things a bigger deal than they need to me, Rey?"

I laughed, though, I didn't find the accusation at all amusing. "Me? You're the one giving me the hard time here about bringing cookies to Thanksgiving." 

"I wasn't giving you a hard time. I just said that I didn't ask you to get them."

"I know you didn't. Sometimes I make my own decisions." I said, my tone much too serious for a conversation about cookies. Maybe my mom was right. 

She snorted, but I wasn't sure if it was because she found my comment funny or if she was scoffing at the thought of me making my own decisions. Sure, my mom and dad hadn't been supportive of my decision to get a bachelor's and graduate's degrees in hospitality while taking culinary classes, but the choice to go down that road had led me to financial independence.

So yeah, my decisions had been pretty solid even if she never gave me credit for them. Okay, so maybe I did make a big deal out of little things, bit this was about more than just the cookies.

My mom called for my sister, Elena, who came rushing in like the kiss-ass she always was. "Oh, hey, Rey. What do you need, Mom?"

"Can you check on the turkey for me?"

I wanted to ask why she didn't want the trained chef already in the room to check it, but I knew the answer---she was done with our conversation and effectively done with me. 

So I left them to it and went into the family room. Elena's daughters were having a tea party with dolls as my dad and brother-in-law griped at the football game. Well, my dad griped, Snap more grumbled nonsense when my father did.

"Hi, Dad," I said as I leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"There's my girl," he replied, taking his eyes off the game to pull me in for a bear hug.

I turned toward the couch. "How have you been Snap?"

"Fine, fine, just fine," he said. Repeating everything three times was a weird idiosyncrasy of his. I once asked my sister if he had OCD or something, and she nearly detached my head from my neck. I took her reaction as a yes. 

I walked over to the girls and squatted down. "Cam I play?"

"Did you bring a doll?" Harper, the older one, asked. There was no sarcasm or harshness in her words. Just pure genuine curiosity. 

"Unfortunately, I did not."

Her little sister, Evelyn looked sad at this news. "We don't have an extra for you to play with Auntie Rey." 

"Sorry, Aunt Rey," Harper added before they both continued playing. 

I stood around awkwardly before making my way back into the kitchen and asking my mom if she needed help. But a dark ball of fur darted in front of me on the way. "Oh my God!" I yelped, jumping back. "What the hell was that?!"

"What?" Dad called.

"There was like a gigantic rat or something." I was already standing on the chair in the corner of the room.

"You had better get down from there before Mom sees you with you feet on the furniture," he scolded. "And it wasn't a rat. That's Chewbacca, my kitten."

"Star Wars names, dad? Are you serious? And you didn't tell me you got a cat," I said, stepping down from the chair.

"Well, guess what, honey? I got a cat."

"I always thought you said that Mom was allergic to cats."

"I am!" my mom yelled in from the kitchen. 

"She is not," my dad said. "And it's about damn time I got some testosterone in this damn house! Years with three women is enough to put someone in the nuthouse!"

"He's so dramatic," my mom called.

"You can call me dramatic when you stop fake sneezing at the sight of Chewie."

"I don't want that cat in here. It's a bad omen!"

My dad groaned like he'd heard this argument many times before. He probably had. "It's only bad of it crosses your path."

I was tempted to say it just crossed _my_ path, but I choose not think about my potential bad luck. Maybe if I didn't acknowledge it verbally, the universe would forget it happened. Instead, I choose to change the subject. 

"You need any help in there Mom?"

"No, I think I'm okay."

Having checked the turkey and finding things progressing satisfactorily, my sister moved toward me and slid onto a stool at the island bar, where I joined her. "So, how was the class reunion?"

 _Mind-blowing orgasmic._ "Fine."

"Did you see anyone interesting?"

She was trying really hard to sniff out some gossip, but since the best rumor to come out of last night involved me, I wasn't going to give her an inch. "Nope."

"I saw Beverly Phillips the other day in town. She's pregnant. Again. I wonder who the father of this one is."

The derision of her words made my shoulders tense. Beverly had, had a rough life, growing up with an alcoholic father in a trailer park and rumors swirling about what had gone on inside. But I'd never heard her utter an unkind word about anyone. Which was a hell of a lot more than I could say about my own sister.

"Wasn't she working at the bank?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So she has a solid-paying job that she's managed to hold on to since we graduated high school. That to me says a lot about her character."

Elena snorted. "Yeah, and so does having three kids by three different men. And she's probably off with someone else as we speak." 

"You want to know what she's probably _not_ doing, Elena?"

"What?" my sister asked, leaning in excitedly. 

I shifted closer to her, like I had a salacious secret to share. "Talking shit about you over her own Thanksgiving dinner with her family."

Elena reared back, glaring at me before sliding off her stool and leaving the room to check in on her girls. "Can you at least try to get along with Elena so we can have a nice meal together?" my mom asked, clearly exasperated. 

"Not when doing so requires me to be an asshole."

"Such foul language," All that was missing was the follow up the three infamous _tsk, tsk, tsk._

We were silent after that. Even when she called everyone to diner we began eating, quiet prevailed. That was the problem when not one of us had a single thing in common with any other member of the family. We had to fuck-all to talk about unless we were bickering about nonsense. 

Maybe that's why we resorted to it so often. It brought us closer together while we pushed each other apart. I briefly thought about telling them about my new business venture, but I really didn't need to hear any negative comments about it. 

Not that they would've really care anyway. It would've been a painful two-minute blip in an already strange evening. Once dessert was over--during which my mom didn't even bother to put out the cookies I'd brought--I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I grabbed my cookie tray, said quick goodbyes, and practically sprinted to my car.

I let myself unwind for a second before turning the ignition and making the half-hour drive home. With as mentally exhausted as I was, part of me wished I'd booked another night at the hotel, but I knew I'd feel better in my own bed.

When I pulled up to my town house, I dragged my things inside and took them to my bedroom. A bath sounded wonderful. 

I'd basically thrown everything into my bag that morning, so I had to sift through its contents to find my toiletries and put everything into piles: laundry, toiletries, and jewelry...

I pulled the thong I'd worn last night out my bag, and a shiny object came with it before falling to the floor. I picked it up and studied it. The gold chain in my hand held a beautiful pendant. It definitely wasn't mine, which left only one person it could belong to.

My heart rate spiked at the thought, and an arousing throb pulsed at her clit. This gave me an excuse to see Kylo again. There was no way I was going to suggest mailing it to him.

I might not have time for a boyfriend, but getting fucked into the mattress by my high school crush? _That_ I definitely had all the time in the world for and I wasn't going to pass that up by any means. I wasn't done with Kylo and I had a sneaky suspicion that he wasn't done with me, either. I didn't want him to be. 


	5. Chapter 5

BEN SOLO

My phone dinged, but I was too frantic to check it. I couldn't find my om's necklace anywhere. It wasn't until halfway through the day that I'd realized it was missing because I took for granted it was where it always was: wrapped safely round me neck.

I never took it off. So when I reached up to clasp it as we said grace before dinner, I nearly had a panic attack when my hand touched nothing but my own chest. _Where the fuck could it be?_

Okay, okay, I had to clam down. _Way_ down. I had already tipped my childhood bedroom apart and turned up nothing. I needed to be more methodical in my approach. Where had I last had it?

"Dude, what the fuck?" Kylo's voice from the doorway sounded alarmed. 

Sinking onto the bed, I dropped my head into my hands. "I lost it, Kylo. I fucking lost it!"

Barely a second passed before I felt the bed dip beside me and a hand roughly squeezed the back of my neck. "Don't worry, we'll find it, bro." 

He knew exactly what I was referring to. Of course he did. There was only one thing that would cause this kind of reaction in me, and no one knew better than him.

"You keep looking in here. I'll check the bathroom." 

He was out of the room before I could tell him that I'd already looked there, but it was probably best to have him double-check behind me anyway. When he returned with tense shoulders, i knew he hadn't found it.

He began digging around the mess I'd made of the room, and I did the exact same. "Where did you have it last?"

Despite having just asked the same question, I was irritated by him asking it. "Dude, if I knew that, I wouldn't be ransacking my room, would I?" I snapped.

He stood up and pointed at me like he was somehow threatening or intimidating or some other shit that wasn't true. We were the same size, and he hadn't been able to take me down in a fight since before we both his puberty. 

"Don't start acting like a total dick towards me, bro. I'm trying to help you out here."

I wanted him to tell him to shove his "help" straight up his ass, but I also knew that I needed it. My cell-phone began ringing the sound of a screeching alarm--the only thing I was guaranteed to hear in the shop where I worked at. 

"Answer that stupid thing, will you?" Kylo griped as he tossed a pile of clothes onto my bed. "I don't know how you stand that fucking ringtone."

I dug around for the phone and followed the obnoxious sound until I found it beneath a stack of Sports Illustrated magazines. By the time I grabbed it, whoever had been calling had hung up. I didn't recognize the number, but there was also a text alert, so I swiped my finger across the screen and went into my text messages.

The same number that had just called had sent a picture of my mom's necklace dangling from a pair of black lace panties. I was absolutely gobsmacked--speechless, really. 

_Found this attached to my thong from last night. Yours?_

Oh thank Christ! You really were watching over me last night---in your own---sort of way, I guess. 

"If Mom could only see her family heirloom now. She'd be so proud," Kylo said over my shoulder, startling the hell out of me. 

"Shut up," I muttered as I went back into my missed call log and hit what was obviously Rey's number. 

"Hey, question, do you think Mom ever got that necklace stuck on her own thong? Or Grandmom perhaps?"

"You're sick, you asshole," I said just as Rey answered the phone.

"Um, I'm sorry, what?" she said, sounding a little taken aback.

"Shit, sorry, Rey. Not you," I quickly said into the phone. "I was talking to my asshole-of-a-twin-brother, Ben here."

Kylo crowded close to me, even though I tried pushing him away. "Oh, so how is Ben anyway?" she asked.

Kylo pulled away so he could look at me, a broad smile spreading across his face and his eyes alight with pure joy. I slapped him hard on the side of the head. "He's doing pretty good. I don't know where I'd be without him, actually. He's basically the only reason I have a job," I replied with a smirk of my own.

"You motherfucking asshole! Give me the goddamn phone," Kylo said as he tried to wrestle the phone away from me. "Lies. All lies, Rey," he yelled as we struggled. "My brother tells the _biggest_ lies. You should ask him about them." 

Finally managing to push him away from me, I jumped over my bed and took off for the bathroom. I slammed the door in Kylo's face, locked it, and then leaned against it, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm so glad you guys have matured so much since high school." Rey said, her voice tinged with amusement. Or at least what I hoped was amusement. 

"I'm sorry. We don't exactly bring out the best in each other."

Which wasn't strictly the truth. We goofed off something fierce, but we also pushed each other to be the best we could be. It was a double-edged sword--one side made us morons and the other made us successful in our own right and I was thankful for that equal balance. We needed each other more than we could ever know---though, right now, I'd like nothing more than to bust Kylo's teeth in with a baseball bat.

"So you found my necklace. I was literally tearing my house apart looking for it before you called. Thank you calling me."

"Sure thing. Do you want me to mail it to you, or...."

"Or...what? Something tells me that you are wanting to add something to the rest of that sentence?"

"Or I can attach it to my G-string I'm currently wearing and you can come over to my place and take it off in person." Her voice was raspy and seductive, and it was making my cock thicken in my sweat pants.

"The G-string or the necklace?" I asked her.

"Why not both?"

 _Holy fuck!_ If anything could make me get up and out of this bathroom faster---that was it. Nothing could stop me from getting to her and I wouldn't fail a second time. Fucking her good and thoroughly was just what the doctor ordered and I for one wasn't going to pass it up. 

"So how about it, Solo? You in?"

"I'm so fucking in," I growled. "You text me your address and I'll be right there."

"I'll be the one wearing the G-String and a gold necklace," she joked before the line went dead.

Shit, shit, shit! I was going to fuck Rey Kenobi--me--Kylo's twin brother, the one she thought to be insufferable and downright annoying. Me! Stashing my phone into the pocket of my sweats, I quickly made a dash for my bedroom, passing Kylo on the way.

"Dude, what gives?"

"I'll be back shortly." I called out as I grabbed for my car keys and hoodie. 

"Where are you going, bro?" 

I didn't even reply as I scrambled out the front door---I had but one mission on my mind, and my cock was leading the way. It was leading me to a beautiful woman wearing my mom's necklace and a perfect pair of black laced panties. 


	6. Chapter 6

REY KENOBI

After getting off the phone with Kylo, I raced through a shower and tided up my room. I dressed in a seafoam-green bra and thong set I hadn't worn yet but stopped short of attaching the necklace to my panties like I'd told him I would. From how relieved he sounded when he heard that I'd found it, it was clearly important to him.

I wasn't sure dangling it over my clit would be all that appropriate. I contemplated clasping it around my neck, but wearing it didn't seem right either. Instead, I nestled the delicate gold chain in the cup of my bra so that the pendant, which upon closer inspection looked like some kind of beautiful ancient coin, hung over the lace exterior.

This way he'd still have to touch me to reclaim it, but it didn't feel so....dirty.

Not that dirty was necessarily a bad thing. I was hoping to get up to a lot dirty things with Kylo this evening, but I didn't want to profane something that could potentially be important to him.

My doorbell chimed, and I grabbed a robe off the bed before hurrying downstairs. Running my hands through my hair one last time, I swung open the door to reveal Kylo looking hot as hell in a light-blue hoodie and dark-gray sweat pants that did nothing to hide huge bulge. 

_I should probably say something to him, shouldn't I?_

Instead, I stepped back from the door and motioned him inside. He'd always been a well-built guy in high-school, but he'd grown into a man whose presence took over an entire room. 

He was solid and muscled, but it wasn't the kind of physique one procured from spending hours in the gym. It was the kind of body a man got doing....manly things. _Jesus, his hotness makes me look stupid._

He pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie, and my gaze was drawn to the movement. I wanted to map the corded muscle in his forearms with my tongue. Knowing from experience just how capable his large hands were, wetness flooded south, and my clit pulsed with anticipation. 

"So I see you found my mom's necklace?" His voice rumbled through me, make me shiver all over. 

I nodded. "It's beautiful, Kylo."

He flexed his hands by his sides, as if he was struggling to keep them where they were. Which was the last thing that I wanted from him right now. "My mom wore it all the time. I was always fascinated by it as a kid. It's an ancient Chinese gaming chip made from mother-of-pearl."

Which probably meant it was super expensive and shouldn't really be dangling from my bra, but that ship had long since sailed. 

"Can I see it?" The huskiness of his voice made me relax. He was clearly hoping that it was somewhere on me.

Or maybe _I_ was hoping he was hoping that. Either way, I unfastened the belt tied at my waist and pushed the robe off my shoulder, letting it fall to a heap on the floor. His eyes drifted to my thong first, but when he didn't see the necklace, he let his gaze slowly drift up my body until he settled it on the necklace. Stepping closer, he slowly placed his hands on my shoulders.

The roughness of his hands against the softness of my shoulder felt truly amazing. He slid his fingertips down over my collarbone and to the swell of my breasts.

Then he stopped their course and looked deep into my eyes. "I've honestly never see that necklace look more beautiful." 

I don't know who moved first after that. Suddenly his lips were on mine or mine were on his, and we both moaned into the kiss as our hands explored each other greedily. The kiss was all-consuming, like an inferno sucking all the oxygen from us both to sustain itself.

Feeling his tongue caress my lips, I instantly opened for him, letting him drag me deeper into the blissful moment. He pulled back slightly, and I chased his lips, too intoxicated by the taste of him to stop. 

"I just," he gusted out before putting his lips back on mine where they belonged. "I....we need to talk." He managed to get the words out in between deep, probing kisses.

I gently removed the necklace and placed it in his hand before reaching back to unclasp my bra an let it slip down my arms and join my robe on the floor. "There are much better uses for your mouth than for talking," I said.

He zeroed in on my hardened nipples and he moved his hands to slowly cup my breasts. The coolness of the coin felt amazing against the heated flush of my skin. He grazed over my nipples with his thumbs, causing me to arch toward him.

"But I really---"

"Kylo." He brought his haze back up to my face and waited for me to continue. "Make me cum. Make me cum hard." 

Bringing one hand up to my nape, he pulled me to him and kissed me hungrily. _This_ was what I needed. Talking was for people who were interested in dating and getting to know each other. That wasn't what this was. This was need, pure and physical. And it seemed he was finally fully with the program. 

He put the necklace into his pocket before sliding his hands over my hips and then gripped my ass, pulling me against his. His hard cock pressed into my belly, and I wanted to see it, touch it, _feel_ it.

"Bedroom?" he asked.

I pointed up the steps without moving my body away from his. He looked where I'd gestured for a second before lifting me by the backs of my thighs and carrying me bridal-style upstairs. Since my room was the first door at the top of the stairs, it wasn't hard for him to find, and he carried me inside, his lips still fused to mine. Lowering me onto the bed gently, he then stepped back and tore his hoodie off, revealing bare skin beneath.

When he shucked his sweat pants, his erection sprang free. Kylo had come prepared, and since I was prepared to cum, I was supremely thankful for his choice to not wear anything under his pants.

He moved toward me, grabbed my thong and slowly---oh, ever so slowly with that feral look in his dark eyes, pulled them off of me. This man was going to kill me with his sensual brooding stare alone and I was completely okay with that as a death wish. 

"I have condoms in the drawer." My voice was breathless than I'd ever heard it, and I was momentarily worried what this man might reduce me to before this night was done.

His long, thick cock bobbed as he made his way over the drawer and opened it, removing a condom, tearing it open, and rolling it over himself. He seemed ready to pick up where we left off the previous night, skipping the foreplay neither of us needed. Crawling between my spread legs on the bed, he lowered himself so that his chest touched mine.

As he kissed me deeply, his cock slid over my clit, collecting moisture that had gathered there. I was beyond turned on, and I arched into him so that my nipples rubbed against skin that was taut over firm pecs.

Just as I was about to take him in hand and guide him to my entrance, he did it himself, positioning the blunt head of his cock against me and pushing steadily inside. 

Gasping, I grasped hold of his back, my fingernails no doubt leaving scratches behind. He rocked into me gently at first, letting me get used to how thick he really was. But as his mouth moved down to suck on the tender skin on my neck, his thrusts picked up speed and intensity. 

"Yeah," I groaned. "Just like that, Kylo."

Shifting so his weight was on his palms, he looked down at where we were joined and pulled almost all the way out before snapping his hips forward and driving back in. I could feel every ridge and vein on his cock as it massaged the walls of my pussy. 

All I could do was hold on for the ride and make unintelligible noises of encouragement to him. "Fuck! Fuck, this feels so good," he gritted out as he threw his head back, clearly giving himself over to the sensation.

But he quickly refocused on me, moving on hand down to rub my clit. Part of me wanted to tell him to stop. My orgasm was already building low in my belly, and with the way he was working my clit, this was going to be over way sooner than I had wanted it to be. But the bigger part of me wanted to get off. I had a feeling the explosion was going to be nuclear, and I wanted it so badly.

He seemed to be on the same page. "I-I'm close," he groaned out before quickening his pace even more, chasing the release he hadn't let me give him the previous night.

I wanted to watch him get there. Wanted to see his face as his orgasm took him over. As his finger continued to work magic on me, my clit nearly ached with pleasure, and I couldn't hold back any more.

My body went rigid as I came undone, but I forced my eyes to stay open. I went pliant beneath him but still met his thrusts, even as they became more erratic. His hips flexed as he pushed deeply into me, his cock seemingly trying to burrow inside. After a few hard, long thrusts, he groaned and dropped to his elbows, his body quaking as he no doubt flooded the condom with his cum.

His whole body was taut above me as he rocked gently a couple more times, probably trying to milk his orgasm for all it was worth.

Eventually he came back to himself. He looked down at me and pecked a kiss to my lips before rolling to his side and getting to deal with the condom. When he came back, I was still lying on my bed, my body content to ride the wave of satisfaction a little longer.

"So did I break you?" he asked, amusement and a trace of smug pride in his tune. 

I laughed at his ridiculousness, but answered him honestly. "Not yet. But you're welcome to give it another try." 

"Well," he said, turning to roll on his side, propping his head with his elbow. "It's a pretty good thing that we have all night to make that happen, isn't it?"

"You're up for that?" I asked, surprised.

"Are you kidding me?" He laughed as he leaned over to kiss me softly on the lips. "I could go on all fucking night, babe." 


	7. Chapter 7

BEN SOLO

"You guys doing anything today? I could use your help at the restaurant this morning." My dad handed me a cup of coffee before pouring one for Kylo too. 

"Thanks," I said, taking a sip. "And sure. What's up?"

Neither one of us had worked at the restaurant since we were in high-school. Even when we came back on college breaks, the place was usually staffed well enough that Dad didn't need in for anything. 

"I could use your input on some repairs I need to make. It shouldn't take long." 

"No rush, Dad," Kylo said. "We probably won't head home until tonight."

Dad looked at Kylo and then back to me. "I can make some time for tomorrow if you boys wanna stay home one more night. You know....like we used to."

The hope that lit up his eyes sent a pang of guilt through me. We need to golf every Thanksgiving weekend, starting when Kylo and I were in high-school. And truthfully, I missed it. But with the bike shop requiring so much of our time, the tradition had died off sometime over the last few years.

"Sure, that'd be fun," I answered, and Kylo echoed my sentiments. 

"Great! I'll call later on." My dad's excitement was audible, and he reached a hand out to squeeze my shoulder in appreciation before doing the same to Kylo. 

We finished our coffee, and Dad suggested we grab something to eat on the way. The fifteen-minute drive from Dad's place to the restaurant was shorter than I remembered since I'd driven it last--maybe six years ago. It reminded me of going back to our old elementary school and thinking of how small the hallways had gotten since I'd left. 

As a kid, the drive to the restaurant had seemed to take forever, especially after a long day at school. By the time we got to our "office," as my mom had dubbed the both closest homework.

Video games, TV, bed. Just about the last thing we wanted to go was hang out in our parents restaurant on the nights they both had to be there. But after our mom's passing, I never entered the restaurant with the same perspective. And today was no different. 

The sign still said _Leia's._ There was just no Leia around now. No dark-haired with a graying tint, no sweet smile surrounded by freckles, no one to tousle my hair before giving me a kiss on the top of my head and telling me to get back to work. The last time I'd been to Leia's was when we threw our dad a sixtieth birthday part two year's ago, and now, as I wandered around the dining room, I scolded myself for not returning sooner.

For not even asking Dad if he needed my help. Because clearly by the look of things, he did. It was true the food was always the draw, not the décor or the building. 

But Dad had always been able to keep on top of things. But that didn't appear to be the case anymore. "What the hell happened to this place?" I asked, eyeing the peeling wallpaper and a chair that was missing in several places.

Kylo ran a hand over some of the remaining wallpaper--a textured navy blue that had been on the walls since Leia's opened nearly twenty-years ago. My mom's choice, of course. Seeing the bare walls behind it fell wrong. All wrong---as if it had lost it's magical, homey touches. 

Dad shrugged. "I started some renovations last week. I figured the place could afford to be closed over the holidays."

"Can it, though?" I asked. The idea seemed ridiculous, irresponsible even. This was Dad's only source of income. "How's that possible? Did you find a celebrity to blackmail or something? You have a Kardashian sex tape that you're not telling us about?" 

"Hey, don't look at me," Kylo said when I glanced at him for an explanation, even though I figured he wouldn't have one either. "I'm just as confused as you are. When's the place supposed to reopen? This is gonna take a while. The walls are in horrible shape behind the wallpaper. I thought you said this would take just a few hours."

"Not the repairs. Those'll obviously take a long time. I just need some help picking some stuff. The color blindness doesn't make this kind of thing too easy for your old man."

"Right," I said, thinking back to when Mom used to have to match his outfits for him if he wore anything other than black pants or jeans.

Dad sighed and took a seat at one of the wooden chairs at the table in the middle of the room. He looked tense, burdened. Like Kylo's question was more complex than providing us with a concrete date. It scared the living hell out of me. 

"Take a seat, boys. I need to talk to you about something."

Kylo sat, slowly, across from our dad. "You know what, I think I'd rather stand for this," I said, already sensing a gravity to the conversation ahead.

Silence hung between all three of us for a minute, making the tension thicker than a morning fog. Finally Dad spoke. "I really need your help with a few repairs here because I agreed to do some. It's not for sure yet, but the potential buyer wants to see some things done around here before they'll make a formal offer, and I haven't had any other interest."

"Potential buyer? You're selling Mom's restaurant?!" I never thought this day would come. It hadn't ever crossed my mind, and my tone showed it. 

"It's not Mom's restaurant anymore, Ben," my dad said. Unlike mine, his tone was quiet, somber. It was full of a sadness that was the result of more than just the mention of my mother. "It may be her namesake, but let's be real, she's not around anymore. But I know what she stood for, what she fought for and I just don't want to do it without her anymore."

How could I not have noticed how much Dad had begun to struggle. "We'll help you, Dad." 

"Yeah." Kylo reached a hand to Dad's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze like Dad did so often with us when we needed consoling. "We're both here now. We can be here again." 

Dad nodded but didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know what to say or because he was scared of how his voice might sound when he spoke. He never liked showing any sort of emotion or any sort of weakness. I hadn't even see him cry at Mom's funeral. I'd only heard him one time after Kylo and I had gone to bed and he assumed we were both asleep for the night.

I remember how I'd been staring at the nail pop on the ceiling above my bed for hours, willing sleep to come to me but never finding it. 

Not until I heard dad sobbing on the other side of the wall, anyway. Until that night, I'd thought crying yourself to sleep was just a saying--an exaggeration used for effect and not grounded in any sort of reality.

But as the first tear rolled down my cheek and found its way to my pillow, I realized just how the reality of possibility was. I wasn't sure if I was crying for the loss of my mom or for my dad's loss of his wife.

But the reason didn't matter. I'd woken up the next morning with my eyes puffy and red and no memory of falling asleep. My dad looked to each of us, his eyes holding an appreciation that I knew he'd never be able to verbalize. 

"I can't ask you guys to do that. That's why I'm doing this. You get that?"

"What I get is that we're your family, and you need our help," Kylo said before looking over to me. "Tell him, Ben."

"Kylo's right. We can get this place fixed up. Couple of days tops. You don't have to sell it if you don't want to."

Dad stood, grabbed some color swatches off one of the nearly tables, and walked over to the wall. He turned around to where we were both now standing, our faces no doubt holding the same baffling expression. 

"Gray or tan?" he asked. "Mom was never too fond of the blue."

We spent most of the day helping at the restaurant, choosing colors for the walls, tearing down the rest of the wallpaper, ripping up the carpet that hadn't been replaced....well, ever. We'd get someone else to install a new one---we weren't delusional enough to think we could tackle that ourselves---but we figured removing the old carpet might bring the cost of the job down some. 

By the time we finally left, we'd actually made some decent progress. And not just in regard to the repairs. It took a while, but Kylo and I tried out best to understand where our dad was coming from. 

He'd been running a restaurant on his own for years when it hadn't meant to be his alone. Not only was it physically taxing, but the emotional strain it must've put on him wasn't one I'd ever considered before he'd explained it to the both of us. It was like a fucked-up version of _Groundhog Dog._ No matter how much my dad hoped and prayed that things would be different---easier---when he opened the restaurant each day, it was the same shit all over again.

He was struggling to add variety to a menu that had been the same for over a decade, and when the head chef left for a more upscale restaurant a year ago and Dad hadn't been able to replace him, business had slowly declined. 

The realization made me feel guiltier than I cared to admit, because when it came down to it, I should've know he needed help, and I should've offered to provide it.

"You wanna move up to the ladies tee so you have a chance to hit the green this time?"

Kylo's question pulled me back to the moment---the one where it was my turn on a par three. "There's a group behind us," Kylo said, nodding toward the last hole. "Hey, you gonna play, or you gonna stare at the clouds all day?"

"I'm not staring at the clouds, bro. I'm strategizing my next shot."

My dad laughed before turning to Kylo. "Water or rough?" he teased as he gazed up at the sky. "What do you think, Kylo?"

Kylo chuckled, and even I couldn't help but crack a smile. Kylo and my dad always busted my balls when we got together, especially when it involved golf. 

"It's a tough decision," Kylo said. "He could always put it in the sand too."

"I'm not gonna get it in the sand," I said, as if the possibility was ridiculous too.

My dad walked over to the cart and put his driver back in his bag. "I don't think you will either," he called. "Bunkers are too close to the hole, and you like to stay away from there."

"I hate both of you," I said dryly. "I'm like the fucking Tiger Woods of New York." 

"Yeah. Tiger Woods without the skill or the women." Kylo replied with an amused grin. "Well, to be fair, you do have a woman. Kind of, anyway."

As I leaned down to put the ball on the tee, I saw my dad's eyebrows raise. "Kind of?"

Sighing, I backed away from the tee to look at him. "Kylo's kidding. It's nothing."

That's when it occurred to me that I'd promised Rey I wouldn't say anything to anyone but then told Kylo. Maybe I _was_ still the dick she remembered I was in high-school. 

"Oh, all right," my dad said with curiosity in his reflection that I was going to indulge in the conversation. "If you say so, son."

Then I set up and hit the ball right into the trees on the left, causing my brother and dad to laugh hysterically. My dad got into the driver's seat of the golf cart. "Maybe you should consider driving the ball with an actual driver."

"I like my three wood, I have more control with it."

"Sure, sure," my dad teased. "I got it. Control put that ball of yours over the in the leaves."

"Listen, you old fucking fart, we have four holes left. It's ain't over till it's over or as the frog croaks as they say."

"I'm ten over par. Your thirty-eight. Tiger."

A few minutes later, we finished the hole, and my dad didn't miss the opportunity to tell me that I was now forty over. "Keep bullying me, and I won't buy you the hot dog and beer that I promised you."

"Who the hell eats just one hot dog? You're buying me two," he said.

"You're tough."

"And you're too fucking cheap," Kylo chimed in from the back seat. 

I turned around to smack his leg, but he pulled away like he knew the assault was coming. "I don't really see you offering to pay for anything back there, hot-shot."

"What are you talking about? I paid for the round of golf."

 _Shit!_ "I completely forgot that. Guess I'll buy you a hot dog and a beer, too, then."

"You're too generous," he said, his voice flat with irony.

When we finished the round, I accepted my defeat and we headed into the clubhouse to grab a bite to eat. I handed my dad his two dogs first and then set Kylo's down on the table in front of him. I dumped condiments in the center of the table and went back for the beers. 

"Thanks for your help, douchebag," I said, when I returned. 

Kylo shrugged. "It's my reward for putting up with you."

"What do _I_ get?" Dad asked. "I've had to deal with the both of you for twenty-nine years."

"He's got a point," I said before washing down the dog with some beer. 

"That he does," Kylo agreed. "A morning of golf with two your two favorite people good enough?"

Putting down his food, our dad slowly smiled. "It's better than good enough. It was the absolute best." 


	8. Chapter 8

REY KENOBI

Waking up this early on a Sunday wasn't something I was used to, but after a Thanksgiving weekend, a long class at the gym was a necessary. And there was no better burn than a spin class. I tried to go to Transform at least once or twice a week to sweat out some of the calories I regularly consumed. 

Being in the culinary industry didn't make it easy to always eat well. And recently, I'd been working on some brand new recipes.

After swiping my membership card at the front desk, I grabbed two small towels from the nearby shelf and headed to the spin studio. I could usually claim a bike toward the back because classes in the afternoon or mornings on weekdays tended to be less crowded. But the Sunday after Thanksgiving proved differently, and I was disappointed I hadn't thought of it beforehand. 

I glanced around the dim studio to see the only two free bikes were in the front row. I walked over to the one closest to the door and put my towel over the handlebars, but the person next to me spoke. "Actually, that one's my wife's." He pointed to the door. "She just went to refill her water right quick."

I apologized and then headed to the other bike farther down, only to be told that, that one had a broken pedal that hadn't been fixed yet. 

"Here, take mine." I heard a familiar voice say, though I couldn't place it right away.

I looked toward it and saw Kylo getting off a bike toward the back and already wiping it down. "What are _you_ doing here?" I said.

He smiled broadly. "Well good morning to you too, you beautiful ray of sunshine." 

I probably blushed, and I was thankful the dim lights meant he probably hadn't noticed. "Sorry," I said. "Good morning." I headed over to where his bike was, but I had no intention to take it. "Seriously, though. Why are you here? At this gym, I mean. You don't live anywhere near here."

"I'm not going home until later today, so I figured I'd just come to this gym instead. I'm more of a morning workout person, I guess."

"I'm not a morning person at all," I replied.

"Well, you're here now," He gestured to the bike. "She's all yours. Enjoy your workout." He smiled before heading for the exit.

it wasn't long before I was behind him, telling him that I wasn't going to take his spot in the class. "You were here first, Kylo. I'm not going to steal your workout session."

"You're not stealing it if I give it to you," he said. "I've already been biking for twenty minutes, and the class would've been a warm-up anyways. I have other stuff I can be doing."

My eyes widened in what I'm sure looked like awe. Because it was. "A spin class is your _warm-up?"_

He shrugged and then ran a towel over his dark hair, which was slightly damp in the back. "Yeah," he said, like it was no big deal.

I could barely move after one of those classes, and this fool basically used it as an intro to....something that was no doubt much harder than riding a bike for forty-five minutes. "You wanna work out together?" he asked.

 _Not particularly._ Because my idea of a workout was definitely not equivalent to his. At least according to his biceps, which were clearly visible in his fitted T-shirt. The observation caused me to make other---lower---observations. Particularly below the waist. He was sporting a pair of those shorter exercise shorts that guys could only pull off if their quads were built-enough.

Kylo was certainly one of those kind-of-guys. Hell, he could wear a fucking potato sack and he would look damn good in it for all I care.

"Don't get too excited." His joke reminded me he was waiting for an answer.

"Oh. Um, yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure." 

I didn't know when it was that I got better at sex than conversation, but I was definitely more self-conscious now than I'd been naked with this man. I gave him a smile that I was hoping would reassure me as much as it did did.

"Are you sure you can keep up with me?" I asked him. "I'm surprisingly very strong. Like a petite superhero."

He laughed. "I'll just have to take my chances, won't I?"

It wasn't clear who decided to begin with a three-mile run, thought I'd like to think I wasn't to blame for that mistake. I tried not to look at his treadmill when I finally reached the three-mile mark on mine, huffing and puffing as I finally came to a complete stop. 

"Okay, so maybe you're the superhero here," I said, finally allowing me to eye his monitor, which showed just under four and a half miles.

"No way I'd ever wear one of those tight costumes."

I looked at him like he was a dessert I couldn't wait to get my mouth on. "Well, that's unfortunate for the rest of the world's population."

Letting out a loud laugh, he said. "I like to save all this for special occasions."

Now, it was my turn to laugh. "You mean like for weddings and baptisms and stuff?"

"Or class reunions. You'd be surprised how many women wanna dance with you when you're wearing that big bright red superhero cape."

"You're a lunatic."

"And you're cute." 

I was so sure that I blushed, but I hoped he couldn't tell since I was probably still beet red from my run. He led me over to some free weights, which looked intimidating as hell from my end.

"There's no way I can lift that," I add.

He set the pair of thirty-five=pound dumbbells' near the mat I'd grabbed and then walked over to pick up two fifteens. "Catch," he said, pretending to toss one in my direction.

Knowing he wasn't actually going to let it leave his hand, it didn't stop me from flinching. "You're a total gym liability." I gave him a playful shove. There was a sheen of sweat on his pale skin, and he smelled like salt and that masculine body wash.

And then, as if one Kylo wasn't enough, another one appeared in the far distance. _Oh great, I'm seeing double now! I really have to lay off that wine---I really, truly, do!_


	9. Chapter 9

BEN SOLO

_Snap!_ My leg stung like fire from the whip of a towel. "What's up, asshole?" Kylo said from behind me.

I turned toward him and glared. _I will fucking kill you if you fuck with me right now!_ I suddenly wished that I _was_ a superhero---like Cyclops, who could shoot fire-ball lasers out of his eyes and eliminate someone from the earth with a single look.

"Hey," I finally managed to grit out. "I thought you were lifting in the other part of the gym." You better get the hell back there, I warned him with my eyes.

"Felt like doing some cardio." He began jogging in place and then throwing jabs at the air as he dodged an invisible opponent. What a tool. "Rey, right? My brother's told me a lot about you," he said without evening brothering to stop his pretend boxing match. 

She nodded and looked at him like she wished she had laser eyes too. That or a can of mace. I almost laughed, but then I realized the mace would've actually been meant for me. I needed to get him the hell out of here. And what the hell would I have told him about her other than that I had slept with her? 

Which was exactly what I swore to her that I _wouldn't_ do or tell anyone of our---private time together. Thanks, Ren, you're fucking moron!

This motherfucker had a death wish, and I'd be happy to help him achieve his dream. "Okay, well, we don't want to gold you up. I'm sure you have a workout to get to, bro."

"I can do some here," he said, dropping to the ground. "Here, check this out." 

He did a few normal pushups and then threw in a few claps before transitioning to weird yoga holds. There was no doubt about it, I would murder him in the parking lot and put his dead body in the dumpster. 

After a few more seconds of his ridiculous show, I nudged--or more like kicked---him in the ribs. "Get moving, bro. We're planning to exercise here."

He hopped up and gave me a squeeze on the shoulders before whispering uncomfortably in my ear, "I'll see you at home later."

Once he was on the other side of the gym and safely out of sight, I let my muscles relax a little. I hadn't even noticed how tense I'd gotten with him around. I didn't plan to keep my identity from Rey, but the gym didn't exactly seem like a great place to come clean about it. And I especially didn't ant it to see like my brother and I had colluded to deceive her intentionally. 

"What's wrong with him?" Rey asked, seeming almost amused by his antics.

"He must be off his meds again," I answered humorlessly. "Ben can be like that sometimes."

Then I picked up the heavier-set of weights, and she picked up hers to follow along. I showed her a few movements--some one-leg bicep curls and I triceps extensions with bands. But even though my body was engaged, my mind wasn't. I wondered if she could tell the difference between Kylo and me when we were next to each other.

She'd she could always tell us apart, and I'd believed her. Maybe once she had both of us in front of her, she'd realized her mistake. And maybe she'd never speak to me ever again.

But she hadn't seemed any different since Kylo's departure. She was either an Oscar-worthy actress or wasn't suspicious of anything. I hoped that it was the latter. Once we finished our workout--which consisted mostly of keeping any eye out for the natural disaster known as Hurricane Kylo---I said goodbye to Rey and headed for the locker room/

At least there was no chance of Kylo running into both of us in there. Though there was a chance that she'd run into Kylo without me. 

I wasn't sure which was worse. Once inside, I pulled out my phone and texted Kylo to get his big-ass in here ASAP: _The last time another guy asked me to meet him in a locker room was when Armitage Hux asked if he could see my groin pull._

_STFU and get in here now!!!!_

_Sigh....okay, bro, be there in two!_

I felt every second of the hundred and twenty as I waited for him, and when he finally arrived, turning the corner without expecting me to be right there. I punched him hard in the stomach. I wasn't really sure why he wasn't anticipating it, but it actually made him double over, thought he recovered rather quickly much to my dislike.

"What the fuck was that for, bro?!"

"For almost messing the whole damn thing up for me!"

"What thing?"

"The thing with Rey!" God, he was so dense sometimes. 

"Sorry," he said. The fact that he sounded genuinely apologetic made me want to hit him again, but I managed to restrain myself. "I didn't realize that you two had a "thing," he added, using air quotes. 

"Well, it's not really a 'thing.' It's nothing really. We're just having some fun. I'm gonna tell her that I'm not you, but she stopped me the other day when I was about to, and today wasn't exactly the right time. You know....since you were standing right next to me."

"What do you mean? That would've been perfect. Then Rey would've realized you're the one she can't stand, and I would've been there to console her when she felt betrayed."

"You're literally the worst brother ever, Kylo," I said dryly, but I was sure Kylo knew that I was only kidding.

"Well, in all fairness, I'm the only one you got, so you don't really have much to compare me to."

"I'm pretty sure I would've liked Cain better."

He laughed, and it made me laugh too. "What the fuck were you doing with all those pushups and shit out there, by the way? You looked like an arrogant tool."

Kylo pulled his head back like the question surprised him. "Wasn't it obvious, brother? I was impersonating _you._ "

"Your an asshole." I laughed again. "I don't do that stupid shit." 

"Not now you don't. But you did in high-school, and that's the Ben she remembers. Come to think of it, you should actually be thanking me. There's no way she'll think _I'm_ Kylo when I just acted like a complete jackass in front of her." 

I would never give Kylo the satisfaction of knowing that I thought his point was actually said. "I very much doubt it took much acting." I said. I grabbed my wallet and keys out of my locker and tossed the car keys over to him. "Let's go before I decide kicking your ass would be a great idea. You're driving."

***********

"Weren't you supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago?" Wedge, one of my bike builders, asked. 

I sighed and stared at the bike I was working on for a second before finally standing and beginning to put my tools away. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get rid of me."

Wedge laughed. "You know what they say. When the boss is away...."

"The dipshits fuck everything up and my business goes to hell?"

That only made him laugh harder. "Absolutely." Wedge had been working for us a little over six months, and I wasn't sure how we'd ever survived without him. The guy was a workhorse who was always in a good mood.

At sixty-two years old, he was still a total gearhead who could build and fix anything motorcycle related. But he was also a clown and loved to joke around. No one he and my dad had been such good friends even after all these years---apparently that same friendship they had obtained had rubbed off onto both me and Kylo. 

"Cassian will be here until the end of the day in case anything comes up."

There was no way we trusted Wedge to close up by himself. Not because we thought he'd steal from us or anything like that but because the only time his ADHD was under control was when he was tinkering with a bike.

The old man would end up locking himself in the bathroom or something. And even though Cassian didn't work with the bikes---he was in charge of our marketing and social media accounts---he still had more common sense about shop needs than Wedge. 

His smile widened into a smirk. "What would I do without my three sons?"

"I hope to never find out." Shouting goodbye to a couple of the other guys in the shop. 

I made my way to the office to grab Kylo so we could get to Dad's. He's called the day before, saying his most interested buyer was coming by and asking if Kylo and I could spare a couple of hours to do some cosmetic work around the place to show that he was dedicated to making whatever improvements were necessary. It felt a little like putting on lipstick on a pig, but whatever.

Dad rarely asked for anything so we immediately jumped at the chance to help him out whenever we could. 

"You ready to go?" I asked when I entered the office.

Kylo was shuffling through some paperwork at his desk. "Almost," he mumbled.

"We're going to be late." He ignored me, which always drove me crazy. A fact he knew. It made me want to brain him with the stapler sitting on his desk. "Come on, bro. We've got to go."

Instead of getting up, he dropped the papers he held and leaned back in his chair, putting his arms behind his head. "I have to ask, does this commanding voice with with Rey?"

"Who's Rey?" Cassian asked as he walked in--because of course he'd walk in at that moment---and headed for his own desk.

"Our boy Benjamin here has himself a fuck buddy. Or wait....since she thinks you're actually me, doesn't that technically make her _my_ fuck buddy?"

The very thought of Kylo having sex with Rey made a twinge of irritation arc beneath my skin. "Screw you, Kylo."

That statement made Kylo's eyebrows shoot up, and a pleased smile spread across his lips. Out of my periphery, I saw Cassian's head move back and forth between the both of us. "Okay, I'm so confused right now."

"Allow me to enlighten you then, Cassian," Kylo eagerly offered.

"Or not," I said, the warning very clear in my voice. Not that, that had ever stopped Kylo from spilling the beans before.

But as he studied me for a long hard moment, a weird look passed over his face. "Fine. Have it your way, Ben," he said to me.

"What? Come on, no way! You have to tell me now!" Cassian yelled. "You can't just leave me hanging like that!"

Kylo stood and walked over to me, bringing his hand up to squeeze the back of my neck. "Sorry, man. It's twin code." Which wasn't really a thing at all, but for once, my brother didn't seem to want to piss me off.

"Twin code? What the fuck is that?" Cassian asked. 

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," Kylo said as he grabbed his coat and shrugged it on before tossing mine over to me. 

"Is it like where one of you can feel what's happening to the other? Is that what this is about? Is Ben banging some chick and you can, like, feel it too?" Cassian's eyes were wide, like he'd just discovered Atlantis. "Because that would be totally badass."

"Jesus Christ," I muttered, rubbing a hand over my face.

"Yes," Kylo deadpanned. "That's exactly what we're talking about."

"Damn! Why couldn't I have been a twin?" Cassian muttered.

"I can't believe I actually work with you two idiots!" 

Kylo barked out a laugh. "Oh, come on, Ben. Your life would be so boring without us in it. Especially without me, since you wouldn't even getting laid at the moment."

I swatted at the back of his head at this comment, but he dodged. "Later Cassian," he called over his shoulder as the office. "Don't forget to make sure you watch Wedge leave."

"Look man, I may be an idiot, but I'm not a moron."

"Pretty sure it's worse to be an idiot than a moron." I yelled.

"Only you would know the difference," he retorted, causing me to chuckle as Kylo and I left the shop and climbed into my Jeep. 

It only took about thirty minutes to get to the restaurant, and Dad had a list waiting for us. We unloaded the tools I'd brought and got to work. After about an hour or so, my dad popped his head into the kitchen, where Kylo and I were fixing a latch on one of the freezer doors. 

"Hey, guys. The potential buyer is here. I'm going to bring her through."

"Okay," I mumbled as I tried to pry the defective latch off. 

"Let me do it, fuckward. You're going to break the whole damn door off if you keep on that way," Kylo argued.

"Kylo!" Dad scolded.

"Well, he is!" he said under his breath.

"Just do me a favor and don't say anything offensive while she's here, all right?"

Kylo nodded solemnly. "I'll do my very best on that effort, Dad."

Dad rolled his eyes before disappearing around the corner. "Can you not drive him crazy today, please He's going through enough without your shit," I said, finally working the latch free.

"Oh please, I'm the comedic relief in this family. You'd both be surely assholes without me."

"If you say so." 

We'd finished screwing the new latch into the place when I heard my dad's voice. "My sons ae making some improvements to the kitchen as we speak." 

"Your...sons are here," the female voice asked.

It took me a second to recognize the voice as familiar and an additional few seconds to figure out where I knew it from. By the time I spun around, Dad was standing in the kitchen with his next potential buyer. "Oh fuck my life," I whispered, which caused Kylo to straighten beside me.

"Holy fucking shit," he breathed.

"Boys, I think you know Rey Kenobi, right? Rey you remember my sons, Ky---"

"Yeah!" Kylo interrupted. "Yup, definitely for sure, we know Rey. How have you been? Good? That's good."

So smooth, Kylo. Though, I had to admit, I appreciated him trying to save my stupid ass. Rey looked between us, and I willed her not to see the truth. Despite my intentions to tell her, I couldn't have her find out here, in front of my dad. What a fucking disaster that would be. Her gaze settled on me, and heat blasted through her eyes.

So she really was ably to tell us apart. Well, kind of. In the biblical sense. My dad looked quizzically at Kylo but spoke as if his sons weren't making this moment awkward as hell. 

"I was just showing Rey here some of the upgrades we were doing."

"I'm very impressed by the progress," she said, smiling at me.

And while part of me wanted to return that smile, another part of me was pissed. She'd never said a word to me about buying my family's restaurant. Granted, we didn't do a whole lot of talking while we were together---and I was hypocrite for being angry at her for lying---but still. What the actual fuck?

The smile slid off her face as she could read my thoughts, but I was saved from having to address it because my dad started yammering on about the amenities of the kitchen, and Kylo grabbed me and hauled me out of there under the guise of us moving on to the next project.

"See you later, Rey," Kylo said as he pulled me after him by the arm.

I stayed silent, but I did look over at her before leaving the kitchen. She looked worried, and I didn't like seeing her that way.

I nodded at her, and some of the tension seemed to drain from her posture. I followed Kylo out to my Jeep and watched him lean against it and rub a hand over his face. "Dude, what the actual fuck?"

Yeah, I nodded in agreement, my thoughts exactly. What the fuck was going on here and why the hell was Rey involved?


	10. Chapter 10

REY KENOBI

Watching Kylo leave the kitchen made my chest hurt in a way I hadn't expected. It wasn't that I'd wanted to intentionally keep interest in his dad's restaurant a secret. But we hadn't crossed the line into sharing personal information with one another. 

I could admit this might look calculated, since I was in fact, the one who always put the kibosh on talking, even thought that wasn't my main reason in this case.

Mostly it stemmed from the same reason that prevented me from telling my own family about it---I didn't want to have anything but positive vibes going into this deal. It was the first time that I was buying a rest as the sole investor. I'd piggybacked on a few other deals and learned the tricks of the trade from more reasoned restaurateurs, but this was the first time I'd be going it alone, and i desperately wanted it to be a success. 

I wasn't sire how Kylo felt about his dad selling, and I didn't want it to get unnecessarily complicated. Which maybe would have led a smarter person to not get involved with him at all. But hey, I was only human.

Besides, there was no promise that I was going to buy this place. I definitely had plans to branch out on my own, but while Leia's seemed to be a good fit, I hadn't committed to it yet.

So why bother discussing something that could easily become a nonissue? And why did it even matter anyway? It wasn't like we were dating. A couple of hot-as-hell encounters did not a relationship make. 

"Did you want to come into the office so I can answer any questions that you might still have, Rey?" Kylo's dad, Han said. 

Dragging my eyes away from the door Kylo had left through, I focused on Han. "I don't think that's necessary." I extended my hand toward him, and he shook it. "I really appreciate you taking the time to show me your renovation plans. I have some meetings lined up this week with my accountant and real estate agent, but I'll likely be in touch within the next couple of weeks." 

"Sounds good," he replied with the kind of smile that clearly came easily to him. 

Han Solo was obviously a good man, and it made me want to buy his restaurant all the more. But I couldn't make any snap decisions. My accountant Amylin would kill me. So instead, I said my goodbyes and ventured outside, simultaneously hoping I would and would not run into Kylo. 

The decision was taken out of my hands when I saw him leaning against the hood of my car. He looked like a romance cover model standing there with his legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest, and his head bowed. He must have heard me approach because he lifted his head, and his brown eyes caught mine. We stood there at each other for a moment before he spoke.

"So you're the buyer, huh?"

Taking a deep breath, I walked over and stood beside him, sinking back onto the car for support. "Maybe. I haven't made any actual commitments yet."

"So is that why you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to blur the lines. This is business, and I didn't want you to think I was trying to tie you up in it in some way."

"Gotcha." He straightened abruptly, like I'd said the wrong thing, but I wasn't sure how the truth could be either right or wrong. It was what it was. 

"I wasn't trying to mislead you or anything," I tried to explain. "I'm very attracted to you, and I wanted to keep in in its own lane, completely separate from the restaurant stuff. I'm sorry if if my doing that upset you in any way."

Rubbing a hard hand roughly through his hair, he looked like he wanted to bolt. And for the life of me, I wasn't sure why the idea of him doing that bothered me so much. We weren't even friends. 

He exhaled a breath before saying, "Look, I know I'm kind of being a bitch about this. This is all....a lot. We just found out my dad was selling this place, and then you walk in, and I know you don't owe me any explanations, but it also seems like something you actively chose not to tell me, and I'm not really sure what to do with that."

I wasn't sure how to reply to that in a way that wouldn't make things worse, so I went with what I usually fell back on: brutal honesty.

"I did choose not to tell you, because, to be frank--and I'm very sorry if this is too blunt--it's not any of your business. At least not on my end of things. I don't even talk about my business decisions with my own _family._ I'm sure as hell not going to bring it up as some kind of pillow talk." I kept my voice soft but firm. 

I wasn't trying to be dismissive of his feelings, but I wasn't going to accept guilt when I didn't deserve it either. I awaited his response anxiously, unsure of how'd he take to what I'd said.

We'd had a good time together, and I didn't want that to crash and burn over this. But that ball was in his court. 

"I get that, I do." His reply made me breathe a little easier, especially since there was no anger or malice in his tone. "This place..." He shook his head.

Moving closer, I put a hand on his arm. "I know the restaurant means a lot to you. I remember eating there occasionally with my parents and watching your mom bustle from table to table, always making sure everyone was enjoying their meal. That's what drew me to Leia's in the first place. The love she had for it. I want to move around the tables of my restaurant with the same confidence and joy that she did."

Kylo stared up at the restaurant, and I stared up at him. After who knows how long, he turned toward me, the movement making my hand slid off his arm. "She really did love this place."

Every word I could have offered seemed inadequate, so I stayed silent. Placing his hands gently on my shoulders, he leaned in and out a soft kiss on my cheek before pulling back just enough so he could look into my office. 

"If you do decide to buy, take care of it for her." 

"I will. I promise."

Squeezing my shoulders, he offered me a small smile before pulling away and stepping around me. I turned toward him, letting him take a few steps before saying, "This feels like a goodbye."

If I could've pulled the words back into my mouth, I would've. They'd spilled out before my brain had even processed thinking them, and I didn't like how needy they made me sound. Though I also couldn't deny that I wanted to know where we stood after all this.

Not knowing for sure would drive me insane. Twisting around, he began to walk backward as he winked and said, "You know where to find me."

Once he was out of sight, I slumped back against my car again and took a deep breath. So there was still the possibility of more sexy times with Kylo. 

Despite the warm feeling that spread through my body at the thought, I wasn't totally sure whether that was a good or bad thing. Maybe it would be better to just walk away now before things got any more complicated. 

Or maybe it would be better to sleep with him a few more times. Surely he'd work himself out of my system eventually. Wouldn't he?


	11. Chapter 11

BEN SOLO

Kylo had been suspiciously silent on the drive home. Usually he couldn't resist running his mouth or asking questions about every damn thing, but that wasn't the case after we'd had our run-in with Rey, and his silence was freaking me out. 

Finally, we trudged through the front door of our apartment and took off our coats, I turned to him. "Okay, go ahead, let me have it."

"Let you have what?"

"Your unsolicited two cents."

Kylo shrugged, a gesture that was too casual to be genuine. It was as if we were on a date and he was playing extremely hard to get--which he surely wasn't.  
  
"Stop being an asshole and tell me how much I fucked up back there."

His lips quirked as he walked into the kitchen. "And here I thought I was avoiding being an asshole by keeping my mouth shut. I always get that wrong." He opened the refrigerator and withdrew a bottle of water. "What did she say when you talked to her?" he asked after he'd drained half the bottle. 

I slid onto the countertop across from where he stood. "That she didn't keep it from me to be shady. Basically, she didn't want to mix business with pleasure." 

My brother scoffed. "Too bad that now her pleasure is wrapped up in our dad's business." 

"Nah, she seems capable of keeping the lines from blurring. Not that it matters." 

“And why would you say—“

"Because I've got to end it now." I hadn't said that to Rey when I'd had the chance, but the drive home cemented that it was the right thing to do. 

Not telling her the truth was already wearing on me, but I couldn't keep it up now that the stakes were even higher. "I should've told her truth today when I had the chance. Maybe it wouldn't have seemed as bad since she withheld information on me too."

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" 

"No?" My confusion over what he'd said caused the word to come out as a question, a fact that my own brother didn't fail to capitalize on. 

"I'm glad you sound unsure, because that means its probably likely, and that explains a lot."

Jumping off the counter, I went to move around him. "I don't know why I even bother talking to you about anything."

Kylo grabbed my arm, causing my head to swing toward him. The two of us fucked around a lot, but we rarely put our hands on each other like he was doing. "Dude, you can't tell her the truth, and you can't ghost her either. You'll cost Dad the deal."

I ripped my arm from his grasp and stepped into his space. "First of all, don't ever fucking grip me like that again. Secondly, earlier you didn't want Dad to sell. Seems to me like her pulling out of the deal would suit you just fine."

"Okay, tough-guy, de-puff your chest there. I don't want Dad to sell, but I what I want doesn't matter here. If it's what he wants, what he needs, then I support it. And that includes making sure your clueless girlfriend is happy with everything."

Was I hearing him correctly? "Are you telling me to keep sleeping with some girl, _lying_ to her, so she'll go through with a business deal?"

"Yeah, that's exactly I'm telling you."

"You realize that basically makes me a gigolo."

"Don't flatter with yourself. It just makes you the same guy you were last time you had sexy time with her. It wasn't an issue then, so why is it now all of a sudden?"

Unable to stop myself, I shoved him back into the counter. "You know what, fuck you, asshole. You know I've wanted to to tell her. I just....I can't..." I yanked my hair I growled my frustration. "I never meant to lie or keep lying to her. I'm not that kind of guy."

"Because you're clearly super fucking emo right now, I'm going to let that shove little comment aside," His face softened. "And I know you're not that kind of guy, dude. Your heart's a damn good size bigger than your brain, that's for sure."

I rolled my eyes, which made him smile. He wasn't making me feel any better by any means by saying any of this---but I could see where he was going with all of this, really, I could. 

"For real though, I get that that this whole situation has been FUBAR from the beginning, but walking away now could not only fuck things up for Dad but also...."

"But also what?" 

He took a deep breath and locked his eyes---same shade of brown as mine---on me. "But also for you. I don't think you want to walk away. Be honest with yourself. It wasn't that you didn't have the time or opportunity to tell her. You didn't _want_ to tell her. Maybe mostly because you like banging her, but I don't know doubt there's more to it than that. Tell me that I'm wrong, Ben?"

"You're wrong, Kylo. We fucked. That's it. We barely even talk."

"Then why did you look like I set your favorite puppy on fire and then dry-humped its corpse when you said you weren't going to her see her anymore?"

My brow furrowed. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a really messed-up imagination, Kylo? I mean, fuck, man, what the hell?”

But his words gave me pause. Had I looked like that? I hadn't meant to. There wasn't more to my feelings for Rey than I'd said. Was there? No, I resolutely decided. Even if she was someone that I could like, I didn't know enough about her to actually have those feelings. And besides, relationships weren't really my thing. Casual hookups, no problem.

But the thought of being more made me break out into an uneasy, cold sweat. "Look, I like her as a human being. She's a good person. But I don't want to date her or anything."

Kylo eyed me dubiously, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he said, "Listen, Dad never asks us for anything. I'm not telling you to keep sleeping with her, but I am telling you not to do anything that will cost Dad the sale."

"That's basically you telling me to continue sleeping with her."

"I've told you no such thing. But she clearly like the D. Your D, which she thinks is really my D, but let’s not complicate that anymore than it needs to be. As long as you give her some solid orgasms, she makes out on the deal."

"You're very cavalier about whoring me out, you know that, right?"

He brought his hand up to grip my neck and gave it a firm squeeze---a gentler one this time. "I'm cavalier about a lot of things, brother, but not about our family. You and Dad are all I have. So if you can't see Rey anymore, then we'll find another way to help Dad out."

Silence stretched between us for a minute, both of us running through our absolute truths and letting those things pass between us. We always put our family first. We always had each other's backs. And we always were honest with each other. The moment spread until we both took deep breaths and soaked up the fact that we were back on solid ground.

"You're trying to use reverse psychology on me, aren't you?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Is it working?"

"Yeah, it's definitely working."

He gave my neck a part before pulling back. "What do you want for dinner?"

It was his version of a peace offering, and I'd take it. Especially since I had my own atoning to do. I was pretty sure I was lying to him and myself, even if I hadn't said the lie out loud. And maybe he was right about all of this. 

Was my unwillingness to keep deceiving Rey because it was fundamentally wrong? Or was it because I wanted her to want the real me? 

************

I'd spent most of the next two weeks at the bike shop and hadn't seen Rey since the restaurant. Tonight that was supposed to change. She'd texted a few times to meet up, and though my dick wanted to say hell yes, my brain---in some strange stroke of adulthood---interfered. And my conscience, the dirty bastard, was even worse.

Because no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that Kylo's logic was sound the right decision for our family, keeping up the charade was beginning to wear on me.

Especially when Rey had texted me to come to her house after I finished up at the shop. But Kylo was right. I couldn't tell Rey the truth yet, and I couldn't just break things off with her either. And as much as I hated to admit to to myself, I didn't want to. We were behind on the both bikes we were currently building, and I hate the possibility that I might not meet a deadline I'd been the one to make. 

It was a promise just like any other that I felt I needed to fulfill. It didn't matter if I had to work until in the morning, as I had the past two nights. I had no plans of letting one of our customers down.

When Saturday rolled around and we still weren't done, I offered Wedge overtime if he wanted to work for a few hours with me. The guy was never one to pass up an opportunity for overtime, but more than that, he wasn't one to leave a friend when that friend needed him. 

"You need me tomorrow too?" Wedge asked. "I can come by for a few hours, finish things up if you want."

I glanced at the clock over on the wall. Jut past seven o'clock. I tossed the wrench on a nearby table and pulled my phone out to text Rey:

_I have to work late tonight, but I'll make it up to you tomorrow morning. Pancakes?_

_Is this pancakes a code for sex? Because covering in syrup sounds delicious in soooo many ways._

_Uh...I was legitimately talking about breakfast, but I'd be lying if I said that your version didn't sound good too to pass up._

_So you're planning to cook for me now? I could totally get on board with that, Ren :)_

_I was actually thinking diner food might be a better option than my cooking. I'm not sure my culinary expertise is up to your professional standards._

I was also worried that being in the house with Rey might lead to more sex. And while that wasn't necessarily a negative--not really it didn't do anything to help the guilt that I felt either.

_Sunday mornings are for being lazy around the house. No matter how horrible your cooking skills are._

_In that case, pancakes it is_

_Well, SEX and pancakes. Got to work off all of those extra carbs :)_

That part had me laughing my ass off. God, this girl was so funny and knew exactly what buttons to push---I _fucking_ loved that in a girl. It was hot as well as sexy. 

_LOL. Sex and pancakes...sounds like the title of a song._

"Who are you texting?" Wedge asked, and I realized he'd probably been staring at me for the better part of my conversation with Rey. "You look like someone just promposed to you."

"I don't even think that can be used as a verb," was all I could come up with, but Wedge's comment got me really thinking. Despite the fact that I felt terrible about lying to Rey, interacting with her in any way made me stupidly happy---emphasis on the "stupid" part. 

He leaned back in the stool he was sitting on and looked up at me from across the bike. "Avoiding the question, I see." 

He raised an eyebrow at me as he waited for an answer. But this fucker wasn't getting one. He might be a friend, but I wasn't about to talk to him about my...whatever it was that I shared with Rey. 

"Stop staring at me like that creepy fuck from that weird-ass stalker show, and get back to work."

"Or what?" Wedge said, more amused than he should be by his boss.

"Or you're fired," I threatened, though I knew he knew better than to believe me.

He smiled and then lowered his gaze back to the task at hand. "We both know you're too damn happy to fire me," he said.

And as I walked toward the office to finish my conversation with Rey in private, I hated to discovered how much he was right about the whole situation. 


	12. Chapter 12

REY KENOBI

I hadn't seen Kylo in two weeks, it was nearly killing me. We hadn't talked much since the restaurant incident, and my anxiety about it had reached a new level the past few days. I didn't know if he was avoiding me intentionally or just really busy with with. Or maybe it was both. I just wanted to see him again....soon.

He'd seemed friendly, even flirty, when we'd texted earlier, and I hoped that meant his shock--or anger---about my purchasing the restaurant had dissipated enough that we could find our way back to how we'd been before.

Which was hot-as-hell encounters that had me practically begging for more. It occurred to me that I'd pretty much done that exact thing through text earlier when I'd interpreted pancakes as sex, but I was just too horny to even care. Kylo would be here soon, and my body thrummed with anticipation. Two weeks does not a dry spell make, but my vagina had been arguing that fact recently. 

When the doorbell rang, I practically sprinted out of the kitchen to the front door, flinging it open to reveal the sexiness I'd missed over the past over the past few weeks.

In worn jeans stained with grease and a tight fitting black T-shirt with their company's logo on it, his shaggy black hair disheveled with bits of grease smeared on his forehead and cheeks---oh how my heart fluttered. 

"Hi," I said. My voice sounded a little more timid than I would've liked for it to, as if my next move was contingent on his response.

"Hey," he replied, and he wiped a hand across his forehead, smudging a speak of black that was there. I stepped away from the door so he could enter, and he kicked off his work boots before going any father into the house. "Sorry. I came straight from work. I was worried if I stopped home for a shower, you might already be asleep when I got here."

I didn't even bother telling him there was no way I could have fallen asleep. I was too ramped up, like, I'd been shot full of adrenaline and other hormones that resulted in me feeling like a sex-crazed teenager after a night of Red Bulls and cocaine. 

"It's okay," I told him. "I have a shower you can use."

His smile formed the beginnings of a laugh before he said, "I may have to take you up on that offer." Moving closer, he extended a hand and reached around my hip to pull me against him. "So long as you don't leave me in there all alone," he added against my cheek as he ran kisses down toward my chest. 

"God, I've missed you---missed _this_ ," I corrected myself. 

His "Me too' came out as a moan, and I wondered if he'd picked up on my slip but simply chose to ignore it. But my brain couldn't too long on that because my body was currently using every ounce of my energy. I pressed into him, feeling his cock harden against me, and ran my fingers down the cords of muscle on his back and shoulders.

This is what a real man felt like, and I needed to feel more of him. "Shower," I breathed out as he tugged at my nipple. 

"Yes, ma'am," he answered, helping me pull my shirt over my head. 

The rest of our clothes came off quickly, like a discarded trail of breadcrumbs that led to the bathroom. But we never actually made it into the shower. It was as if our nudity brought out some sort of animalistic impulse in us that we couldn't ignore.

This was how I always felt around Kylo--primal and unrestrained. And as he hoisted me up against the wall and drove into me, I may have let out one of the loudest screams in my sexual memory.

He thrust deep and hard, and every push inside me brought both of us closer to an explosion that had been building for two long weeks. Even the thought of Kylo had my entire body feeling like a bomb, ready to go off at the most innocent touch. And this definitely wasn't innocent by any means. It wasn't uninhibited and passionate and dirty.

It was sweaty and loud, and when I couldn't hold back anymore, I came with a scream, grabbing for anything nearby, which happened to be the shower curtain. I didn't care that I'd pulled it down---tugged it so hard that the tension pole came with it, nearly hitting Kylo in the head as he chased down his own orgasm. Both of us laughed for a few seconds composing ourselves enough to finish what we'd started.

He was frantic now, pumping into me quickly with shallow drives that let me know he was close. "Cum for me, Kylo," I said, feeling another orgasm building up inside of me.

"Almost there," he warned, and it was then that I realized he hadn't put on a condom. "FUCK!"

"Not yet," I begged, hoping he could hold off a few more seconds now so that I could cum again.

"What? Seriously? Rey, I can't...."

"I'm right there. A little longer." 

His face strained, the veins in his neck thickening, his eyes clenched shut as his rhythm stuttered. "Shit," he said. "Please, Rey."

And I was cumming again---warm waves washing through my body as Kylo gave me everything he had. The second I finished, he pulled out, put me down, and then grabbed hold of his cock in his hand to jerk himself.

He tugged a few times before cum jutted from him and onto my stomach, down my hips. His hand found the wall next to my head when he was done, and within a few seconds, both of us were in heaps on the bathroom floor, our backs slouched against the wall.

My head fell onto Kylo's shoulder. "I think it's time for that shower now, don't you think?"

"Hmm, what shower?" Kylo murmured, satisfied. 

Hours later, I was waking up with Kylo's warm, hard body---emphasis on the word "hard"--wrapped around me. "When did you get here?" I asked. "I didn't even hear you come in."

He tensed up at my comment and pulled back from me a little. "Um, Rey," he said, sounding concerned. "What do you mean you didn't hear me come in? You opened the door for me. And then we had sex."

"We did?"

How he was hovering above my body, his weight propped on his forearms beside me. It made him seem even larger than he was already. 

"It must not have been that good, or I'd remembered it."

"That's not even remotely funny," he said. He plopped down next to me and stared up at the ceiling, the blanket hitting just below his hip bones. 

"It's a little funny." I traced the lines of his abs with my nails, feeling the short, soft hairs under my fingertips. 

Then my mouth found his neck, and I felt the vibration of his laugh and some of the tension he'd been holding release as I kissed him. I could see his erection through the blanket, and I put my hand lightly over it.

"You're ridiculous, you know that," he said, grasping my hips and squeezing just enough to make me squeal. He held me there, pinned below him as he tickled me until I had tears running down the sides of my cheeks.

He relented to let me catch my breath and then hopped off. Then his eyes grew wide and he smiled broadly. "Pancake time."

Twenty-minutes and one cup of coffee later, we were sitting at my kitchen bar eating the blueberry pancakes Kylo had made. "You're such a lair, Kylo," I said, stabbing another pancake with my fork before dropping it onto my plate and drenching it with butter and syrup.

Kylo's mouth was full, so he didn't talk. Instead he just looked at me, his mouth ceasing to chew for a moment before he seemed to remember what it was supposed to be doing. A few seconds later, he swallowed hard, forcing his gigantic bite of food down in a way that made me wonder if I'd have to perform the Heimlich maneuver or risk losing him right here in my house. 

"You okay?" I asked when he began gulping down hot coffee.

He put the mug down, his face flushed. "Fine, why?" And then before I could answer him. "Um, so why am I a liar?"

He took a bite of bacon and then dropped the remainder of the slice on the plate. He didn't look at me, and it made me wonder if I'd said or done something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what.

"Because you acted like you couldn't cook pancakes, and these are pretty awesome."

He glanced up at me and finished the bite he was chewing before wiping his mouth. "That doesn't exactly make me a liar, though."

"Well, what would you call it then?" I teased.

He thought long and hard for a second before saying. "It's more like....not telling the truth."

I laughed. "You know, I'm pretty sure that's the dictionary definition of lying, genius." 

"Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best explanation," he said. "But trust me, there is definitely a difference there."

I raised my eyebrows, prompting him to continued. "Am I getting a philosophical Kylo Ren right now?" I had trouble imagining that. "Go on."

"Leading you to believe that I might not be a good cook and _saying_ that I'm not a good cook are two completely different things."

"No way." I pulled out my phone. "Let's have a look at the evidence. When I suggested you cook pancakes for me, you wrote, and I quote, _"I'm not sure my culinary expertise is up to your professional standards."_ You implied you aren't a good cook."

"I didn't imply _anything._ You inferred it." 

"Semantics," I argued. "That matters zero." I made a circle with my hand and put it up to his face, but it didn't make him laugh like I thought it would.

"It matters completely. Just because I didn't correct your little misunderstanding doesn't meant that I'm a liar. Maybe, I didn't want you to feel bad about your mistake. You know, then it would be all awkward when I saw you again. You'd be embarrassed that you assumed the wrong thing, and I'd feel guilty." 

"About _pancakes_?"

"Yes. About pancakes," he repeated, like saying the words out loud make his argument more valid. 

I stood from the counter where we'd been eating and grabbed my plate to put it in the sink. When I walked back over to him, I gave him a kiss on his forehead. "We're seriously not fighting about pancakes, are we?" I joked.

"No, we're not fighting about anything."

"Good." I smiled. "I'm going to take a shower. Then I'll clean up, and then we can figure out what to do today."

"Sounds good," he said.

"And Kylo?"

"Yeah?"

"Relax for me a bit, please. It's just pancakes."

"Right," he said, and as I headed up the stairs, I heard him mutter to himself. "Yeah...she's right....it's just pancakes." 


	13. Chapter 13

BEN SOLO

While Rey was in the shower, I cleaned up the kitchen, searching her cabinets for where the pans, plates and spatula went. I figured she'd be pleasantly surprised when she came back down stairs. I also needed to distract myself from the whole lying-by-omission thing. 

There was obviously no way Rey knew I was really Ben---the brother she thought she couldn't stand but clearly wanted more of. Because if she did, my ass wouldn't still be standing in the kitchen.

She didn't even want me telling little fibs about cooking. She'd probably chop my balls and serve them as some sort of foreign delicacy if she knew I wasn't Kylo. Even the thought made me wince and had me protecting the precious area with my hand as I put away the last of the dishes. 

I was drying the counter when the doorbell rang, and I headed over to answer it. "Can I help you?" I asked the woman stand on the other side.

She looked professional in a pantsuit and heels, and she was holding two cups of iced coffee. "Sorry," she said, looking confused. She leaned back to study the numbers to the right of the door. "I thought I might be at the wrong house for a second. Is Rey here?"

"She is. She's in the shower right now. Can I help you with something until she comes down?"

She shifted the coffees to one hand and removed her sunglasses with another. My instinct was to reach out and grab the drinks because I was pretty sure she was going to drop at least one of them, but I didn't want to make any quick movements that might startle her. She seemed a little on edge as it was. 

"You can start by telling me what you're doing at my daughter's house on a Sunday morning wearing sweat pants and....isn't that called a wife-beater shirt?" She was looking at me like she should be asking me to change her front tire.

I was suddenly very aware that my messy hair and lack of real clothing revealed that I'd probably spent the night with this woman's daughter. It made me feel vulnerable in a way that I wasn't used to--like I'd been caught stealing candy from a corner store and was trying to pretend I'd just forgotten to pay for it.

"I'll go grab another shirt," was all I could come up with. "Please, do come in."

As we walked through the living room, I grabbed my shirt from last night off the couch and pulled it over my head, remembering how Rey had ripped it off me just as quickly last night---a fact that made the current situation that much more awkward. Reaching a hand out to Rey's mother, I tried to sound composed as I introduced myself. Or introduced Kylo, at least. I was surprised I didn't say Ben.

"I'm not sure we've met before now, but I've known Rey for a while. My parents owned the restaurant Leia's over on Madison Street." If people didn't know who I was, they were usually at least familiar with my parent's restaurant. 

"I haven't been there in a very long time."

I'd been hoping the familiarity would make Rey's mom feel a little better about a strange man in her daughter's house, but from the look in her face, it didn't. 

Speaking of her daughter, where the hell was she? This was getting more and more awkward by the second. Clearly, Mrs. Kenobi had no idea that Rey might be buying Leia's, so I couldn't even pretend that my presence here had something to do with that. 

I nodded slowly and then pointed toward the kitchen. "I was just cleaning up from breakfast. Can I make you something? We don't have any pancakes left, but I can make you more or cook some eggs or something."

_You dumb fuck. Now she definitely knows for sure that you slept with her daughter._

Her expression seemed to soften a bit with the offer. "A man who cooks _and_ cleans. Wherever did Rey find you?"

I smiled. "High school, actually."

"Really? I'm surprised that I don't remember you." She laughed, though I could tell she'd been trying hard not to.

"No, it's okay. I just have one of those super-forgettable faces," I said, making her laugh again.

"You know what? I'll take a cup of coffee while I wait. I brought these for Rey and me, but you can have mine. I didn't drink any of it yet." 

"That's awfully nice of you, Mrs. Kenobi---"

"Alison. Please."

"Alison. That's really nice of you, but I'm really fine." I held up my mug. 

"Suit yourself," she said. "But it's a caramel mocha latte. The black stuff you're drinking doesn't really compare."

I looked inside the coffee mug. "You're right. It's missing about six-hundred calories and forty grams of pure sugar."

"Told you," she said with a smile before bringing the straw to her lips.

We drank our coffee and talked for a few more minutes, mainly about the house she was showing to a couple about a mile or so from here. It made me wonder why Rey hadn't chosen her mother to be her real estate agent for the restaurant transaction, but I wasn't going to ask Alison.

She didn't seem to know anything about it, and I was _not_ going to be the one to tell her. And I didn't plan to ask Rey either because it was none of my damn business.

Clearly there was a reason that Rey had chosen to keep her mom out of the loop. A few minutes later, Rey came downstairs, wearing leggings and a fitted white T-shirt. She hadn't bothered to put on a bra, and as she walked toward the kitchen, I had to force my eyes to meet hers so Alison wouldn't think I was perving on her daughter right in front of her.

"You want to just hang out here today?" she asked as she approached me. "We can spend the day in bed, and---"

"Your mom's here."

As she entered the kitchen, Rey's head whipped to the island bar, where Alison sat sipping on her coffee. Rey's gaze darted between us. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, that wasn't the greeting that I was hoping for."

Rey shook her head and looked at Alison apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Is everything okay? You never come by without calling me first."

"I just thought I'd surprise you. I brought you your favorite iced coffee," she said, waving the cup back and forth.

Rey smiled and her shoulders seemed to relax a bit. "Caramel mocha?"

"Yes. Half almond milk, half cream" Alison said. 

"Thanks." Rey took the coffee form her mom and sat next to her at the counter. "But seriously, why are you here? You're freaking me out a little."

Her mom laughed. "I didn't mean to, honestly. I have a couple who's looking at a house nearby, and I did a drive-by earlier. I have a little time to kill before I have to meet up with my clients."

"You really have to stop calling them drive-bys, Mom. It sounds like you're shooting up the neighborhood from the window of your Prius."

"That's ridiculous, Rey."

"I know. That's why you have to stop saying it." 

I remained quiet as they talked, but when Alison's gaze went to me, I knew I was about to get involved in the conversation. "So, are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend or not?" 

Rey's mouth opened, presumably to correct her mom, but then she said. "I figured you'd already met each other."

"Well, we did. But a formal introduce would be nice all the same. I had no idea that you were even seeing anyone. You never talk about things like this whenever you are at home." 

Rey and I had a conversation with our eyes--one where we acknowledged that the only way we were "seeing" each other was naked but there was no point in explaining the nuances of our situation to her mother.

And my guess was that Rey didn't want to let her mom think she was just sleeping with men she didn't have any intention of having a relationship with. I couldn't say I blamed her.

"Mom, this is Kylo. Kylo, this is my mother, Alison Kenobi."

"Pleasure to meet you again. And you can just call me Ren, actually."

Rey looked at me strangely, like she found my choice of a nickname odd in this situation. As far as she knew, it was only people in high-school who was referred to my brother and me as Kylo. 

"I just figured I shouldn't confuse people. You call me Ren sometimes, so your mom can too."

"The pleasure's all mine," Alison said with a smile. Then she took notice of something on the counter and picked up an envelope. "Rey, you haven't RSVP'd for this yet?"

"I kept forgetting to send it in. I'm going through, I called Grandma and told her. You know I wouldn't miss that for the world." 

"What is it?" I asked, though I knew it was also something that was none of my damn business.

"It's my husband's parent's fiftieth anniversary party," Alison said.

"Fifty years, wow. That's--- _really long_ \---"impressive," I said, thankfully finding a word that didn't make me sound like a complete asshole. "What's their secret to such a happy long marriage?"

"You can ask them yourself. I'm sure they'd love to meet you."

"Mom, I haven't even asked Kylo if he'd like to go yet."

"Well, ask him now," she said. "He's standing right here. Grandma and Grandpa aren't getting any young here, darling. And I'm sure there's more than enough room for one more party guest. They'd love to see you with a boyfriend, don't you think?"

"I'm sure they would, Mom, but Kylo's been swamped at work." Rey looked to me for help. "You have a lot happening at the shop now, right? And it's on such a short notice. I don't want you to feel obligated to go." 

I honestly had no idea what she wanted me to say. _Why are women so damn complicated?_ If I agreed that I was too busy, I looked like one of those pricks who chose work over their girlfriend or wife--not that she was either of those---and if I agreed to go....well, then I'd have to accompany Rey to a family function and pretend to be her boyfriend, Kylo. Oh fuck my life.

'I'd love to go."


	14. Chapter 14

BEN SOLO

Even a week after my impulse decision to become Rey's fake boyfriend, I'd still failed to come to terms with the clusterfuck that my life had become. Rey and I had continued to bang each other's brains out, because no matter how hard I tried to resist her, my dick was always harder. My intention to slowly pull away from her was easily forgotten with a meet-the-family event on the horizon.

I'd promised I'd see this through with her, and I wouldn't fail her. I knew it wouldn't atone for being less than truthful, but it was all I had to offer.

I looked around my room to see if I'd missed anything before zipping up my duffel bag and turning toward my doorway where Kylo was leaning against it with a look of disapproval on his face.

"What?" I asked as I pushed past him and walked toward the foyer.

"Nothing. I'm just curious how you do it?" Kylo said, his voice full of mock wonder.

"Do what?" I didn't even want to know at this point. I just wanted to get his securitizing stare off me so I could get the hell out of this house. 

"Manage to get yourself into such fucked-up situations, bro."

I dropped my bag by the door and started to grab a couple bottles of water. "Well, since I'm pretending to you, I'd really expect no less."

"No way, man. This is some epic fucking up here. I've never come close to meeting my fuck-buddy's family while pretending to be someone else."

Rolling my eyes, I opened the fridge and withdrew a few bottles. "I'm not even pretending to be someone else. I'm being the same-old-me but with a completely different name.... _your_ name."

Kylo wagged his finger at me. "I'm liking how delusional you're becoming over all oft his, Ben. Believing your own bullshit is a new high. Or low. Whatever you want to call it."

I grabbed a small cooler and slammed it onto the counter before whirling around on him. "Why are you giving me so much shit about all of this, man? You're the one who told me to keep lying to her! And you know how much I hate doing it, so why do you keep harping on me about it? I feel like enough of an asshole without you piling on." 

After tossing the waters onto the cooler, I stormed back toward the foyer. I'd wait outside for Rey to come and pick me up. Fuck my fucking dumbass brother!

"Yo, Ben. Wait, man." 

Ignoring him, I shouldered my bag and opened our front door, but he stepped in front of me and pushed his body back against the door so it closed again.

"Move, Kylo," I practically growled. 

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to loosen you up. Be the comedic relief. I wasn't trying to piss you off or anything."

"Yeah, well, you're total shit at reading a situation."

"Totally noted." He didn't move.

"Do you need a hug and a kiss goodbye or something?"

"No thanks, ass-wipe. I think I'm good on that part and no offense, bro, but I don't want your slobber all over me before I'm getting ready to go on a trip with my 'fake' girlfriend."

"Are you sure about that?"

"No thanks, Mom."

"Okay, fine whatever you say, Benjamin."

"Dude, don't fucking call me that." I said with a swift shake of my head. Nobody called me Benjamin, except my Mom and the last time I checked, my mother was ten times more beautiful than this motherfucker. 

"I don't know what you are so fucking nervous for, though. She's not even here yet."

"I know that, but I don't want her to come up. Seeing us together might tip her off."

"It didn't at the restaurant or at the gym, Ben. You need to take a breath and just learn to relax. Hell, you're more worked up about this than I am---and I'm not even apart of of _all_ this."

"I don't want to tempt fate." I reached for the knob, but he batted my hand away. 

"Don't leave mad, my little snookum's'."

"Jesus Christ, what even is my life right now?" I muttered. "Look, Kylo, I'm not mad. Now get out of the damn way, please."

"Your words say that you're not mad, but your eyes say that you're secretly already plotting my untimely death up there in that little noggin of yours, brother."

"You know, I don't know if 'untimely' is the even proper word that I'd use. I actually think it's long past due by now, bro." 

"Come on, be honest with me," Kylo's face was serious for a change, as was his tone. "If I died tomorrow, would you become me full-time from here on out?"

I shoved him as he began cackling. "You're such a fucking dick!" But my words had no heat behind them because I was trying my very best not to laugh along with him. My phone chimed, and I dug into my pocket to pull it out. "She's here. Look, I have to go."

He moved so that I could open the door, but he began speaking again before I could get away from him. "Just....if you need me for anything, make sure you call, okay? No matter what time, day or night."

"You make it sound like I'm spending the weekend with the Voorhees family. I'll be just fine. I'm a big boy, after all."

"Probably even bigger now that you've assumed my identity," he said as he waggled his eyebrows. 

"You wish."

"Seriously, be safe bro," said Kylo stretching out his hand.

"I always am." I said as he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I knew my brother was only pulling my leg, but it didn't make me feel any less nervous about this whole damn thing. Once I was outside, I spotted Rey's white SUV and made my way over to it. After throwing my bag in the trunk, I slid into the passenger seat. "Hey."

"Hey. So, are you ready for the worst family reunion of your entire life?"

"You really know how to sell it." I chuckled. "You sure you don't mind driving?" Truth me told, I'd much rather be behind the wheel, but she'd insisted. Though it couldn't hurt to ask one more. 

"Nah, I know the way. I'll just be easier if I drive."

I wanted to argue that it actually probably wouldn't be easier because I made a rather shitty passenger, but I kept my mouth shut. "How long of a drive is it?" I asked.

"Just under three hours, so we should be there by noon. Usually when I leave at this time, I manage to miss any heavy traffic, though you never know what Friday's may bring."

I sank back into my seat. "Sounds good to me."

"You can put whatever you want on the radio," she offered.

"You like Howard Stern?" I asked as I switched to his station on Sirius. "Sometimes music on a long drive makes me fall asleep." 

"You mean like a little toddler?" she asked, a small smile playing on her lips that I wanted to kiss away. 

"Yup."

"Stern's totally fine with me, Ren," she said. We let the talk-show show fill the silence, making random comments here and there about their discussion. But about an hour in, Rey switched off the radio. "We should probably talk about how we're even going to tackle this weekend."

I took a deep breath. All of this premeditated lying was beginning to wear on me. "Okay, shoot."

"How comfortable are you with PDA? Because I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I don't want it to seem weird that we don't touch or anything."

"You mean considering the places that our mouths have already been these past few weeks, I'm pretty sure some casual touching and kissing here and there won't make me want to head for the hills."

"I sort of figured that but I just didn't want to assume anything or do anything without asking or making sure it was okay with you first."

"I greatly appreciate that, Rey. That's very consider it of you, but PDA away. I'm game for whatever you want." 

"So you're basically agreeing that I can molest you on the dance floor at the party in front of everybody, right?" she asked. 

"Can you even molest the willing?"

She laughed, which was what I'd been hoping for. She seemed so tense, and since it was my fault--again---that we were even in this situation, I wanted to make it up to her. I'd be whatever the hell she needed me to be this weekend. It was the least I could do after all that I've put her through. 


	15. Chapter 15

REY KENOBI

The last half oft he drive was spent reviewing our backstory. We'd decided to keep it simple and go with what had actually happened, but with more emphasis on a relationship that two people who were casually screwing each other. 

We had some random "get to know you" conversations, and before I knew it, we were pulling up the winding drive that lead to my grandparent's farm.

"Whoa, this is incredible," Kylo said.

I glanced over at him and smiled at his widened eyes and swiveling head. The land truly was beautiful. The three-hundred plus acres were mostly taken up by the apple orchard, but my parents also grew other fruit and had some animals on the premises. 

They also operated a market and had seasonal activities, but they closed all of that at the end of November. Putting the car in park, I sank back against my seat and gazed out the window. "I used to love coming up here as a kid. I mean, don't get me wrong, the family on my mom's side is...quirky and quick to voice their opinions. But they're kind too. Solid, dependable people who work hard and love even harder."

"Sounds great," Kylo said. 

I turned and found him looking at me sweetly. I smiled back. "It's completely smothering. But they mean well." 

A commotion had me turning toward the house, where I saw a small crowd of family gathering on the front stoop, shivering as they stared us down. "You ready to face the firing squad or face the music and dance, whichever your preference is?"

Kylo pushed open his door. "Your optimism is one of my favorite things about you." Laughing, I got out of the car. 

"About time you all got here. These nosy turkeys have had their faces pressed to my windows all morning long, it was about to drive me damn crazy!," my grandma yelled. 

"Oh, please, Mom. You're the one who just yelled to all of us that they were here." 

"That's my Aunt Lindy. She and my grandma have been arguing since Lindy emerged from the womb." 

"Lindy the Arguer. I got it," he said as he grabbed our bags.

"Here, I can grab mine." I reached for my suitcase, but he immediately pulled it away from me in a single, swift motion. "Hey, what was that for?"

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't carry your bags?" He looked as if the very notion was scandalizing, and I grinned up at him. He really was stupidly handsome. My family was gong to eat him alive.

"Alexander," Grandma yelled. "Go help them with their things!" 

Even though he was older than me, Lindy's oldest son didn't even hesitate to obey Grandma's command like he was a little kid. "Hey, Alex," I said as he walked into my arms for a quick hug.

"Hey, Rey-bear." He extricated himself from me and extended a hand toward Kylo. "And you must be the infamous Kylo, here to keep Rey from becoming a spinster."

I smacked my cousin's arm, which only made both men laugh. "Let me take those from you. I'll never hear the end of it if I let a guest carry his own bags," Alexander said, only half-kidding. 

Once he'd started toward the house, Kylo caught my eye. _Rey-bear,_ he mouthed. I immediately punched his arm as I saw the grin spreading across his face. "Call me that and I will bury your ass om the orchard." 

He laughed at me again, the cheeky bastard. The bitter cold had sent most of my family back into the house, but my grandma remained behind. When we reached her, I hugged her tightly. She was crazy as a loon, but damn did I love her. She always smelled faintly of apples and cinnamon and hugged me like she hadn't seen you in decades.

"How've you been, darling?" she asked quietly.

"Good," I said, pulling back. "Really good, actually."

She smiled at me before turning to Kylo. I opened my mouth to introduce him properly, but she beat me to it. "And you must be Kylo, I presume. I'm Rey's grandmother. The name's Annette, but you can just call me Mee-maw."

I tilted my head a bit to see if that would help me process her words, I watched as she leaned into hug Kylo. When they finally separated, I asked. "Why would he call you Mee-maw? No one has ever called you that."

"I know, but I've always liked it. Figured this would be my only chance to try it on for size. Come on inside. I got hot apple cider ready in the kitchen for you all."

We stared after her before looking at each other. I shrugged. "Well, that wasn't as weird as I'd anticipated it would be."

Kylo's face slackened a bit in surprise, but I didn't dwell on it. Following my grandma in the kitchen, I braced myself for what awaited us. Most of my mom's family lived and worked on the farm, so I had no doubt they'd all be here. And sure enough, I wasn't disappointed.

It was almost comical how causal they were all trying to appear. My uncle Richard was inspecting a spot on the floor with his boot while my aunt Lindy wiped the spotless counter.

Their daughter, Summer was leafing through a magazine while their other son, Daniel---who was a few years younger than Alexander--shook the table, seemingly trying to see if it wobbled. My own mom and dad stood together with my sister and her husband looking at a painting of the orchard that had been hanging in that exact spot for as long as I could remember. 

And my grandpa and uncle Phillip were opening and closing a kitchen cupboard that seemed to be doing its job just fine. 

The scene looked like a typical family congregated at the hub of the house. Except you could've heard a damn pin drop. It was like walking onto the set of _Get Out_ if the movie's goal had been to lure pretty city boys into the farm life. 

I cleared my throat. "Hi, everyone. This is Kylo. Kylo this is...everyone."

And with those words, my family seemed to come to life. It was as if Kylo's appearance was some kind of surprise gift none of them had known they wanted until they'd received it. It was a horde of shaking hands and exchanged pleasantries. 

Even I was overwhelmed by their convergence, and I knew these people. Kylo held his own, though. Plastering a wide smile on his face, he shook every hand and answered every single question that was thrown at him. From what he did for a living to where he lived, no scrap of personal information was safe from my very own information army.

Alexander reemerged and said. "I put your stuff in the Chuckie room."

Groaning, I very nearly whined. "Why did we get the Chuckie room?"

"You were the last to arrive..." Alexander ended the statement with a smirk, which I wanted to smack off him.

My grandmother waggled a finger at us. "I told all of you to stop calling it that."

"What's the Chuckie room?" Kylo asked. When Grandma scowled at him, he added, "Sorry...Mee-maw."

His lips stumbled over the name, as if he wasn't exactly one-hundred and ten percent sure if he should actually use it or not. "Who's Mee-Maw?" Uncle Richard whispered, though his voice was so deep, the words rumbled through the entire kitchen anyway. 

Ignoring him, I turned to Kylo. "The china doll room is where Grandma's collection of porcelain dolls is stored. In their various states."

"Various states?" Kylo asked, looking confused and a little wary. He would deserve a nationally recognized award after the weekend had ended.

Alexander cut in. "Think of it more as of a doll hospital. Grandma....or Mee-maw?" He turned his attention momentarily to my grandmother. "Is that a thing we're calling you now? I'm totally into it." Shifting his gaze back to Kylo again, he continued. "Mee-maw over there buys dolls and uses them for parts on her more prestigious ones."

"I wouldn't say prestigious. Some just mean a little more to me is all," Grandma clarified. 

"When they come to life, it's going to be like a zombie army," Daniel muttered. "We're all goners."

Kylo looked a little pale now. "So we have to...sleep....in the room with....the dolls?"

"I wouldn't," Daniel warned.

"All of you stop it right now," Grandma scolded. "Those dolls are beautiful and wouldn't hurt a hair on your heads."

All of us paused and looked around at one another, but by seemingly unanimous agreement, no one command on the fact that she'd just implied the dolls did in fact come to life. "It'll be fine," I said, attempting to reassure Kylo. "I've slept in there a few times. It's no big deal."

Kylo didn't look convinced, but he offered me a small smile anyway. I hoped he'd still be able to smile once this weekend was over. 


	16. Chapter 16

BEN SOLO

Rey didn't let the interrogation in the kitchen go for much longer. She pulled me away so we could freshen up. I wasn't sure I'd ever freshened up before, but I was only too happy to start now. 

"I'm really sorry about them," she whispered when we'd started up the stairs toward the bedroom. "They're just excited, is all. I haven't brought anyone up here before."

The words warmed me even though they should've have. She hadn't brought me here willingly. But still, the fact that I was the first made me feel proud to be there. "No worries. I really like them." And it was truth...I did. 

They were intense and maybe a little crazy, but there was obviously a lot of love between them. My family was incredibly small: just Kylo. Dad, me and an aunt who lived in Florida who we never saw. It was fun seeing how the other half lived. 

"I think they like you too. Which I should've considered, since they'll probably be bummed when I tell them we broke up."

There was a pang in my chest at her words. It felt like maybe I would be bummed too, which made no kind of sense since we weren't even really together. "Let's just worry about that when we have to," I said, hoping to convince myself as much as her.

I followed her down a hallway that had green walls adorned with family pictures. She stopped at a door and put her back to it, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "I'm not really sure how to prepare you for this room, Kylo," she blurted out.

"You could start by just letting me see it."

Biting her lip, she seemed to ponder that as she looked at the floor. "It's a little....jarring."

"Rey." I waited until she lifted her yes to meet mine. "Open the damn door."

Without turning around, she twisted the knob and pushed the door open. Since she didn't move from the doorway, I had to practically push through her to get to the room. But once I was inside, I completely understood why she'd been nervous to show it to me.

"Holy fucking shit," I whispered. "I've entered the fucking twilight zone of horror."

"We can stay at a hotel," she said.

"This is....wow."

There were dolls on every surface. And there were _a lot_ of surfaces. Dressers, desks, and tables were all around the room, with dolls standing, sitting in rocking chairs, having tea, and every fucking thing in between. But that wasn't the worst of it. There were also doll _parts_ hanging from clotheslines strung across the room in a seemingly haphazard fashion.

"It's like a Pet Cemetery for dolls."

Rey nodded as she looked at the porcelain mortuary above our heads. "It's definitely a thing of nightmares, that's for damn sure."

"I really hope you weren't hoping we have to have sex in this room. Because, I'm going to be completely honest with you here, Rey, I'm pretty sure this is going to haunt my dick for a really long time." 

A laugh burst from her, which was what I'd been hoping for her. She'd been looking worried as we stood there, and there really was no need to be.

Yeah, this was weird as hell, but it was also going to make for a good story when I got back home. As long as these dolls didn't actually come to life and manage to slaughter me in my sleep, I think we could get through it. Moving in front of me, Rey slid her arms around my neck and pressed her body into mine.

"I think I can help it get over it's fears."

Judging by the sudden twitch I felt in my jeans, I was pretty sure she could. But where was the fun in admitting that? 

"I don't know. I think it would take considerable protection from the demonic forces of hell in this room for him to consider getting with the program."

She looked up at me through long, thick lashes, and my cock was suddenly completely with the program. A fact she must've felt but ignored for the sake of the scene we were letting play out before us.

"Well, what if I kissed it? Would it feel better then?"

 _Jesus fucking Christ!_ The very image of Rey down on her knees with her mouth on my cock made my groin throb with want. I had to clear my throat before I could push words past my lips. "I think that would be a solid way to start." 

My voice was raspy. There was no denying it---this woman really did it for me. She dropped her hands to my waistband and slipped the button free before dragging the zipper down. Keeping her gaze on mine, she pushed my jeans and boxers down to midthigh before slowly lowering to her knees.

The look she gave to me was seductive before she turned her attention to my cock. She put a soft kiss on the flushed head, which caused a moan to rumble up from my chest and fly out of my mouth. I ripped my sweater over my head so that I could see her better because I had a feeling I wasn't going to want to miss a second of this.

Wrapping a hand around the base of my erection, she began licking my dick like it was a cherry flavored lollipop. Intermittently she would swirl her tongue around the head, which felt amazing, but it wasn't enough. 

My cock needed to be enveloped by the heat of her mouth. Her eyes sparkled like she knew exactly what I wanted, but she wasn't going to give it to me anytime soon.

"Please," I groaned.

"Please what?" she asked, looking at me innocently. She was more evil than the creepy-ass dolls surrounding us.

"Do....more," I answered stupidly because evidently all my focus was farther south than my brain function.

"Hmm." The hum vibrated up my shaft, and my head fell back before I remembered I wanted to watch. She took her mouth off me long enough to say, "I'm not exactly sure what 'more' is. You're going to need to be a little more specific."

Her voice was soft and calm. She worked her tongue on my balls for a second before resuming her slow torture on my dick. I tangled my hand in her hair, pulling it just enough to let her know that I was approaching the end of rope with her teasing me. 

Even though I wasn't--not really. Sex with Rey was fun in a way it hadn't ever been for me before. It wasn't just a means to an end. With her, the means mattered almost as much. Getting off the cherry on an already delicious sundae. But the way her eyelids fluttered closed when I tugged on her hair let me know that she was into the role reversal, which made me into it as well. 

"Rey," I ordered her to look at me for the second time in about five minutes, and watching her gaze instantly cut to mine made my arousal hit new heights. Tightening my grip on her hair a bit, I said. "Suck me." 

Her lips fell open on a moan, and she plunged down on me, taking as much of my shaft into her mouth as she could. She bobbed on me with urgency, as if she was enjoying it as much as I was, with didn't seem possible. 

Sliding into her wet mouth was heaven, and even though I'd never imagined an afterlife with doll corpses surrounding me, I wasn't in the least put off by it. I'd happily stay in this room forever if it meant getting more blowjobs like this. 

"Fucking beautiful," I whispered as I watched her devour me.

She whimpered, and her hand began jacking me in time with her mouth. The onslaught made a tingle spark in my balls and began to emanate out from there---up my spine and down my cock. Every nerve ending in my body seemed to begin and end where her mouth and hand worked in tandem to bring me release, and I was completely lost it.

Lost to the sensation of her working me like it was her favorite thing to do and lost to the feelings I was developing for this funny, smart, driven, gorgeous woman who enjoyed being on her knees in front of me.

"Close," I warned, even though I knew it wouldn't slow her down. 

I knew it because I knew this woman, even though she'd worked hard to make sure I wouldn't. How was it possible two people who knew a little about each other could also know each other so well?

I would've explored the thought more if my brain hadn't whited out as my orgasm barreled down on me. My entire body tensed as my cock pulsed my release into her mouth. She closed her lips around me and continued to suck me through my climax, swallowing my cum like she craved it. My body twitched and shivered as I came down from the high, and she pulled off me with a pop.

Her lips looked shiny and red, and it was possibly the most erotic sight I'd ever seen. I reached down and pulled her up, taking her mouth with mine and liking the fact that I could taste myself there.

When she pulled apart because breathing was sadly necessary, she smiled. "Did I help you get over you fears?"

The joke was clear, but the words struck a chord deep within me. Because nothing about what had happened had alleviated any of my fears. If anything, it had ratcheted up all of them. 

But there was no way to tell her any of that. This thing between us was convenient and fun and casual. That's what we both wanted, and I'd damned well better remember it. The smart thing would be to pull back and get some distance between us. But it had been established long before that I wasn't a very smart man.

So instead of moving away, I kissed her again and hoped that losing myself in her for a little longer would make me forget how scared I really was. 


	17. Chapter 17

REY KENBOI

I figured a blowjob would be just the thing Kylo needed to loosen up, but even after our earlier tryst, he'd remained a little tense. He _had_ been relaxed enough to return the favor, but where I had been turned into a boneless glob, he'd almost seemed restless as he bounded around the room examining the doll parts. He was more himself after returning from a shower. 

"Your grandparents have surprisingly really good water pressure for a farm. I almost lost an eye when I washed my face."

"It's well water, but I don't know what that means for the pressure." 

He hummed but didn't reply otherwise. He only had a towel around his waist, but I was disappointed to see he was wearing his black boxers underneath when he let the towel drop to the floor so he could get dressed. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

I rolled over in bed where I'd been sprawled out on my back and rested my head on my palm. "Those of us who are already here will have dinner. It'll be casual, nothing extravagant. The big party is tomorrow. But that means you'll most likely be the center of attention tonight at the dinner table."

He waggled his eyebrows. "I don't know if you noticed, sweetheart, but I kind of like being the center of attention." 

I giggled but thought of how that didn't distinctly true. In high-school, he'd always seemed to like everyone's eyes on him, but that image didn't quite jibe with the man I'd come to know. It wasn't that he came off as opposed to attention, but he didn't seem to revel in it like I always thought he had in school.

Maybe he'd changed in the years since I had last seen him, or maybe I'd always had this false impression of him. Either way, I really liked the man he'd become---likely more than I should.

It was easy to see Kylo in my life, even though I was the one who had been more adamant about not wanting anyone in that role right now. But there was no denying I was drawn to him, a feeling that only became stronger the more time we spend together.

"So what time do we have to be down there?" he asked.

Looking over at the clock, I saw that it was steadily approaching three. "We should probably head down sooner rather than later and help them out. I just don't want them to start gossiping about what we're doing up here all this time."

"And would that gossip be be considered inaccurate?" he teased.

"No. But I'd also like it not to be totally obvious as well."

He laughed. "I really hate to break it to you, but it's already totally obvious since the moment we've arrived. Besides, we've been up here over an hour now. I'm pretty sure they've figured out something's going on."

"We could've been taking a nap for all they know. They don't have to know that we gave each other mind-blowing blowjobs in the confinements of my grandmother's creepy-ass doll room and quite frankly, I don't want them to know."

"Maybe, and the emphasis on the creep-ass doll roll is correct, that's for damn sure. Hopefully they weren't all listening at the door. You're not exactly quiet during so called called little 'naps.', you know?" 

I hurried off the bed and stepped in front of him as he looked in the mirror at the cream sweater and dark-gray chinos he'd put on. He looked super hot in them. "And you were, Ren?"

"As a mouse," he replied. I would've thought he was being serious if it hadn't been for the twitching of his lips. "You see, I know how to control my bodily functions during a great orgasm like the ones you give, sweetheart."

"Okay, fine, if you say so, Ren, but I'm pretty sure the whole universe heard that orgasm that _I_ gave _you_ ," I stood there for a moment longer and drank him in. He really was supremely sexy, but my deepening attraction to him he was beginning to scare me. He returned my gaze, and I detected a softening in his eyes, which was enough to get me moving. "I'm going to go and take a quick shower, and then we can head downstairs." 

I barely heard him mumble an affirmative as I scooped up my toiletry bag and hightailed it out of the room. It wasn't until I was under the spray that I really began to relax. Though relax probably wasn't exactly a great word for it. I was wound too tight, like my skin couldn't quite contain all that was going on inside my body.

I was pretty sure that I was falling head over heels in love with Kylo Ren. And what a goddamn mess that was for me to admit. It wasn't suppose to be like this. I didn't want to _feel_ like this, yet my heart was fighting with my brain on the notion.

Love had never been in the cards for me and Kylo, that much I knew---we were just having fun and this was a casual thing. It would have to end soon---like _really_ soon. 

And the very thought of telling him that, seeing those soft eyes that were so bright turn dull and sad, nearly broke me. It took everything I had in me not to start crying under the shower head and the guilt I would have to feel in watching in slowly walk away from me... _.forever._

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I muttered with a shake of my head. My conscious was scolding me, telling me that I deserved to feel this way. "You knew this was a bad idea going in, Rey. You _knew_ it!"

Yes, I damn well knew, but maybe my heart was telling me something different. Ren was everything I _wanted-_ \--everything I hoped for in a guy. He was smart, funny, talented and caring.

Those are the qualities that I yearned for and here I was about to throw it all away and for what? Fear was the only word that seemed to come to mind---fear of commitment, fear of being hurt or rejected, fear of losing my independence and sense of freedom.

Fear of just being happy in a relationship. All those years in high-school I had been overlooked, overshadowed by other girls and now the one time the man I actually wanted was right here in my grasp, I couldn't fully commit to him because of my _own_ selfish desires. 


	18. Chapter 18

BEN SOLO

I didn't know what sent Rey running from the room, but I couldn't help but think it was the same thing that had cursed me to hide out in the shower. This... _thing_ between us was growing beyond our control. Or maybe it was just my control.

I had no idea how she felt and had no plans to ask. Voicing it out loud would make an already complicated situation even more muddled. 

The smart thing to would be to pull back, now. Situate us firmly in the friends-with-benefits zone again and make sure we damn well stayed there. But that was a difficult task when we were pretending to be in a relationship. There wasn't much I could do expect keep pretending I was pretending---keep acting like I was into her so we could put on a show for her family and not because I was _actually_ into her. 

For the hundredth time since all this started, I wished I could go back and do everything differently. If I'd just come clean to her that first night about who I really was, we maybe would have seen where this was going to go between us. 

But as it was, I was fairly certain Rey was going to flay me alive when she found out the truth. Not that I blamed her, but it made being honest with her a little bit more difficult to stomach. 

And not only because I was afraid of what she'd do to me but because I knew I'd lose her afterwards. Letting out a deep sigh, I gave myself one more look in the mirror. There wasn't anything I could do about any of it this weekend. I'd promised I'd help her out, so that was what I'd focus on. Everything else could be worried about later.

I sat down on the bed and texted Kylo that we'd make it up here. His reply came less than a minute later and it wasn't all that reassuring:

_Don't do anything I wouldn't do...like pretend to be your twin brother and get dragged into an awkward family reunion._

He really was a dick, and I told him so before shutting off my phone and sliding it back into my pocket. Rey came back into the room and dressed without initiating any conversation. She pulled on a long-sleeved blue blouse over her head and turned to me.

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

She smiled at that, ran a hand through her hair, and opened the bedroom door. I followed her downstairs, where everyone was milling around. There were a few more family members there than I'd met earlier, so I was properly introduced to them, and we all made small talk until dinner was finally ready.

A bell rang behind me, and I jumped, grabbing on to Rey's arm like I was going to have to pull her away from the porcelain doll zombie apocalypses. 

"What the hell?" I muttered.

There was a tap on my ass that had me spinning around, bringing me face-to-face with Mee-Maw. "It's just the dinner bell. You need stronger nerves if you're going to make it around here."

My pulse felt like it was going to shoot out of my neck, but I managed a week smile. "I'll work on strengthening them before the next alarm goes off." 

Giving Rey a smirk, she smiled. "I like him, Rey."

Rey threaded her arm through mine. "Me too." Mee-Maw nodded and continued on her way into the dinning room. "I'm really sorry about that," Rey said. "I totally forgot where we were standing."

"In front of Quasimodo's bell tower?"

She laughed. "You're such a baby," she muttered as she pulled into the dining room.

A hodgepodge of dishes, from baked chicken to sausage to mashed potatoes to applesauce, were set up in the center of a long wood table. "No one wanted to go to a lot of trouble since we have the party tomorrow, so everyone who lives close made something and brought it over," Rey explained.

"It looks amazing." And it was true, it did.

"One thing my family can do is cook," she replied.

"So your cooking talent is a genetic gift, huh?" I asked with a teasing lilt in my voice.

Rey shrugged, not appearing to appreciate the joke. "Depends on who you ask."

We looked for two open chairs that were together, and the only ones I saw were near her parents, a fact Rey must have also noticed. She was staring directly at them and took a deep breath and blew it out slowly before moving in that direction. As we approached them, I realized I'd talked to almost all of Rey's relatives but had only exchanged a few brief words with her immediate family. 

Was Rey intentionally keeping me at a distance from them, or was it just a coincidence? Rey slid into a chair beside her mom, and I took the one on Rey's other side.

Immediately I was passed a plate of macaroni and cheese, and when I only took a small spoonful, I was yelled at to take more by at least three different family members. These were definitely my kind of people.

"So, Kylo," Alison began. "We're so glad you could join us this weekend. Rey never brings anyone to family functions. We're not even sure she's had a boyfriend before." Alison chuckled at her words, but I heard Rey inhale deeply beside me.

"Thank you so much for me. I'm happy to be here, if for no other reason than to enjoy this amazing food," I said, only half joking.

"Our family always puts on quite the spread," Alison said with a smile. 

I gently elbowed Rey in the side. "How come you've never cooked a meal like this for me when I come to visit?" I teased, trying to light then mood.

Rey opened her mouth to reply, but her mom's words cut her off. "Don't feel too bad, Kylo. She's never cooked for us either."

"That's because you've never _let_ me cook for you," Rey corrected, her tone acidic. 

I'd evidently walked us right into a conversational landmine. Alison _tsked._ "That's pure utter nonsense. There's nothing stopping you from inviting us over for a meal. If I didn't take it upon myself to drop in on you from time to time, I'd never see your place at all."

Her mother resumed eating as if her own daughter weren't stewing beside her. Searching for a change in conversation, I turned toward Rey's dad.

"Mr. Kenobi, Rey tells me that you're an excellent fisherman. What do you like to fish for?"

Her dad put his fork down and focused on me, which I took as a good sign. "I enjoy the act of fishing, so the catch isn't overly important to me. But Snap and I took a trip last year to catch tuna. That was fabulous trip, wasn't it, Snap?"

Rey's brother-in-law looked up, startled, as if he hadn't been expecting anyone to speak to him. "Yes, yes, a great trip, yes," he said as he nodded before resuming eating.

Note to self: Stay clear of Snap. I cut my eyes over to Rey and saw her fighting back a laugh, which of course threatened to make me laugh as well. 

"Do you fish, Kylo?" Mr. Kenobi asked, which made me realize the flaw in asking him about this topic.

"I don't, actually. My dad took me and my brother a couple of times when we were younger, but I haven't been in years."

Mr. Kenobi's expression grew tight. It was as if I'd handed him a PETA flier on the harms of recreational fishing. "That's quite a shame. Your father probably enjoyed taking you boys out. I know I would've if I'd had a son." 

And didn't that make feel like an awful, shitty son right and then. Christ. Damn, talk about being totally put on the spot.....

"Daughters are perfectly capable of enjoying fishing," Rey interjected.

"Some daughters, maybe," Mr. Kenobi, his tone clearly conveying that he didn't have two such daughters in existence.

"I'm sorry, dad, no offense or anything, but fishing looks mind-numbingly boring," Rey's sister said. 

"You see what I mean?" Mr. Kenobi asked. 

"I would've gone. I'd _still_ go. If you ever bothered to ask me," Rey was pushing food around on her plate as she spoke, and it made me want to teleport us both out of there.

"Why do you always need to be asked?" her mom said. "If you want something, say something, Rey."

"Fine!" Rey looked at her dad. "The next time you go fishing, I'd like to come with you. There, you happy?"

He picked up his fork. "Well see."

"Well that was awfully effective," Rey grumbled, but no one responded.

I wanted to shive the mac and cheese into in his mouth so that he couldn't talk anymore. Reaching underneath the table, I have her leg a squeeze. She put her hand over mine and squeezed back.

Not much else was said for the remainder of dinner or dessert, and we made a hasty retreat after the plates had been cleared, claiming exhaustion. Once inside the bedroom, Rey closed the door and leaned back against it.

"Oh my God, they drive me crazy! We can never ever have just a decent conversation for a change---it's always so, so---ugh, like that between us! Every single time!"

I hadn't been able to offer her much comfort during dinner, but I could now. I walked over to her and crowded her against the door. "I think I know what can help. Do you want me to make you crazy in a good way?"

She slid her arms around my waist. "Oh God, yes."

And so being the perfectly good fake boyfriend that was in that moment---I _did._


	19. Chapter 19

REY KENOBI

"You gonna start running or what?" I turned around to look back at Kylo, who was at least fifteen feet behind me. It had been a few years since I'd jogged around my grandparents land, and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it.

"What's going on here? You hustle me at the gym that day?"

"Maybe." I smiled, but the joy came more from being than it did from showing Kylo that I wasn't as out of shape as he'd originally thought.

Something about being here gave me a renewed energy I hadn't felt in a while. I always loved coming here for Thanksgiving every other year, and though it was winter now, today brought me back. The crisp, fresh air, the leaves crunching under our feet as we ran, the smell of....well, horse shit....it all triggered memories of a simpler time. 

With a quick sprint, Kylo caught up to me, wrapping his arms around me so I could barely move. His body enveloped mine, making me feel smaller, more vulnerable.

He kissed me on the top of my head before releasing me and taking off up the hill toward the houses. "You gonna start running or what?" he called back to me.

"You're such a cheater, Kylo!"

He turned around and laughed and gave me a little shrug. "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying." Then he headed for the house and didn't look back until he arrived.

I slowed to a walk a few seconds later for a cooldown. By the time I arrived back at the house, Kylo was sitting on the front porch with a cup of something hot between his hands. "Mee-maw made hot chocolate and oatmeal cookies. You want some?"

Not bothering to comment on his use of the name Mee-maw, I took a swig from the water bottle I'd left on the porch railing. "We just went for a half-a-mile run, Kylo. I can't ruin it by eating a whole plate of cookies cookies. Plus, those oatmeal cookies are usually just for the kids."

"They're for anyone who wants a taste," Grandma called from inside the house. How the hell had she even heard us from all the way in there?

"You tell her, Mee-maw," Kylo yelled back. He then pointed to the cookie and rubbed his stomach. "And these are _sooooo_ good. You are really missing out on this, doll."

He was grinning from ear to ear, and I couldn't be sure if it was from the cookie he'd just eaten or the fact that he and Mee-maw were somehow besties now. Unable to resist, I put a hand on his chest and leaned up to kiss him. There was no heat to it---just an innocent peck on the lips that felt more comfortable than sexual.

"What was that for?" he asked, a small smile spreading over his lips after I pulled mine away.

"What _was_ that for?" I have him a quick shrug. "Come on, Kylo, I thought you knew me better than that by now. I've got to keep up appearances."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him, turning an innocent moment into one that made me hungry for him. I let out a soft moan when he kissed my neck. The salt from his sweat mixed with the subtle scent of his soap created an aroma that was all man--clean and masculine and Kylo.

"Not to be a party-pooper here by ruining the moment with endless of questions, how much time do we have until we have to get ready for the party?" His voice was raspy in my ear, and it did things to me I shouldn't be feeling on my grandmother's porch. 

I looked down at my watch. "Probably not enough to have ourselves a quickie if that's what you were insinuating. We both need to get showered and be there in less than two hours."

"I can be fast."

Laughing, I pulled back to look at him. "Always such a sweet talker," I joked. "After the party, we'll have all night to be together as much as we want to."

"Is that a promise?"

"It's whatever you want it to be, Kylo."

"I think I like the sound of that," he says, smirking. 

"I do, too." 

Kylo and I had reached the point in our intimate relationship or whatever this---this _thing_ between us was either to going to consume or break us and I keep on wishing and wishing, even praying sometimes as I slept at night that it's the formal.

I'm not ready to lose him just yet and with each moment that we steal in private or in public, with each kiss, with each touch, I wonder if he's feeling the same way as I am. God, I _truly_ hope that he does. 


	20. Chapter 20

BEN SOLO

Once I was showered and shaved, I put on dark jeans, a black T-shirt, and a fitted marron sweater. I pushed the sleeves up to just below my elbows, rubbed a styling paste between my fingers, and messed with my hair until it sat how I wanted.

It was still longer on top, but I'd just gotten it cut before we left, so the sides were clipped short the way I liked. I felt for the chain around my neck and adjusted it to make sure the clasp was in the back. Then I put on a small amount of cologne---just enough for Rey to smell if she was close---and then headed back into our room.

"Well, how do I look?"

She was still in her towel, and the thought of what was underneath had me wanting to remove all the clothes I'd just put on---creepy as dolls be damned. "Like you should be a model and not an accountant," she answered, her eyes roaming over m y body in a way that made me physically feel her gaze. 

It was moments like these that made me wonder why I chose to wear fitted jeans around her. They didn't leave much room for my cock to expand, and right now I couldn't feel it doing just that, pressing hard against my pants as it searched for space it wasn't going to find.

'I'm not exactly an accountant," I said, wishing she hadn't interpreted my description of Kylo's job that way. I took comfort in the fact that denying the job title was technically the truth. "That makes me sound way nerdier than I actually am."

"Nerdy's good," she said. "I actually happen to think it's a major turn-on."

"Mmm, well, in that case," I said, bringing a finger to my lips in thought. "I forgot to tell you about my coin collection."

"Oh yeah?" she said, moving closer to me but not close enough for me to touch. "What about it?"

"Well, I have an Indian head penny from the year 1892."

She slowly licked her lips. "And what else?"

I lowered my voice, making it deep and gravely. "I have also Quarters from ever state in the continental U.S."

"And what happened to Alaska and Hawaii may I ask?" she asked, taking another step toward me now.

'I guess I just never got around to getting them. But one day, I do hope to complete the collection."

"That's so hot," she breathed, and then she bit down on her lip, pulling on it a bit before finally releasing it.

Clearing my throat, I said. "You should probably get ready so that we're on time for the party. I don't want to have to explain to everyone what we were doing that made us so late to something that's on your grandparent's property. Especially with how long it took to get us down to dinner last night."

She rubbed a hand over my chest and down my abs. "You're very punctual this evening."

"I've got to make a good impression."

She moved close, and we wrapped our arms around each other. She looked up at me and smiled. "I think you already have."

**_*********_ **

Walking up to the renovated barn, I put a hand on Rey's lower back. "You look beautiful, you know. That dress..." I leaned back a bit to look at her from behind. The fact that it was long-sleeved didn't make it any less sexy.

The black-and-white stretchy fabric scooped down to her mid-back and hugged her ass tighter than I would've thought she'd want for her family to see. "And? What about it?"

"I _really_ want to take it off you."

She laughed and slapped my hand away when it dropped down to grip her ass. "Well, you'll have to wait until after the party for that, I'm afraid."

"What?" I said, acting surprised. "You mean you don't want me to strip you naked in front of your entire family?" I chuckled when she seemed to consider it for a long, hard minute.

"I'd mind it less than they probably would. And my grandfather hunts, so there are definitely a few guns on the property you'll need to watch out for."

"Totally noted," I said before pulling open the door for her.

I'd never been to a venue like this before, but Rey hadn't been kidding when she'd said the party wasn't in a barn. I mean, technically it was a barn, but it didn't appear that way. The massive building seemed even larger once inside. The high-vaulted ceilings had wooden crossbeams that matched the dark wood planks on the floor, and there was a second-floor loft space that wrapped around three of the walls so people could look down at the dance floor from above. 

Against the back wall, there was a small bar that matched the rustic door of the barn---wood with stone accents. After seeing the inside, I completely understood why so many couples chose to rent out the space for their wedding receptions.

Not that I'd ever considered what might make a good venue for such an event because I never intended to have a wedding of my very own. But I'd been to enough weddings in the past to know what constituted a nice place.

"This place is awesome," I said. "It would make a cool home. I saw something like this once on of those house-flipping shows."

"You really like working with your hands, Kylo?" a voice asked from behind us.

I turned around to see Rey's dad, and I silently prayed that he hadn't heard me talking about getting his daughter naked. "Here and there. If it has an engine, I mean, I'm pretty good. I'm not so sure any of it would come in hand for house flipping, though."

"You work on cars?" Mr. Kenobi asked.

"Motorcycles, mostly."

"Kylo and his brother own a custom bike shop together, daddy."

"Oh? Is that right?" Mr. Kenobi looked genuinely interested, which saddened me as I remembered I wasn't supposed to know much about the ins and outs of the actual fabrication. 

When would I learn to think before I spoke? According to Rey, I was the accountant. Images of Rey's dad and grandfather chasing me around the premises with a rifle after lying to their baby girl had my heart skipping and me truing to cover up my most recent slipup. 

"Yeah, Solo Cycles. My twin brother does most of the actual designing and assembly, though. I'm more on the financial side of things."

"I've always wanted to get a bike," Mr. Kenobi said. "Maybe we should talk."

Alison, who must've been in earshot, appeared beside her husband and put a hand on her husband's arm. "Or maybe you should give up your deathtrap dream once and for all. You know those things terrify me."

Rey's dad just rolled his eyes good-naturally and sighed. "Happy wife, happy life, I guess," he said with a wink at me and then pointed over to the food. "Well, we're headed that way. We'll be at a table by the bar if you want to join us."

"Sure," I said, thankful the conversation hadn't gone further than it did.

Rey introduced me to a few more of her cousins who lived in the area and had just come for the night to go to the party. It was an interesting mix of characters, to say the least. Alison's older brother, Nick, was there with his new wife, Melissa. 

"How old is he?" I asked once they were out of earshot. I felt like such an asshole for asking, but I had to know the truth. 

"She's like six years younger than my cousin Sarah, Nick's younger daughter."

"No shit!" I wanted to high-five Nick from across the room, but I did my best to act appalled. 

"I know, it's wild. Sarah almost lost her shit when she found out her soon-to-be stepmom was only twenty-six. She shouldn't really have been all that surprised, though. No female born before 1994 is---" but she stopped before she finished that sentence much my dismay.

I laughed, nonetheless. "That's so true. You know I had dog named Sarah once, actually. We had to put her down because she started having seizures and walking into walls."

Rey stared at me. "You're awfully fun to bring to a party," she said dryly, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Like as delicate as a jackhammer fun." 

"Oh, trust me, I can be tons of fun," I said, bringing her hands up to my lips and giving them a kiss before swinging her out and then back in again so quickly that she squealed.

"There isn't even any music playing yet, Kylo."

I grabbed her right hand with my left and put an arm around her waist. "That's okay, I can sing something," I offered, already beginning the first few lyrics of Van Morrison's "Brown-Eyed Girl."

Rey smiled through the first verse but eventually began singing along with me. We stumbled over a few lines, the lyrics much easier to remember when the actual song was playing. When I got to the chorus, I changed the words to "brown-haired girl" instead. I hadn't intended the song to have a deeper meaning--or a meaning at all, really.

I'd just chosen something that I liked and remembered most of, but as I sand, the symbolism if the words hit me hard. 

Rey and I had gone to school together, grown up together, but we unfortunately hadn't connected until we'd _re_ connected. And I was so thankful that we had. 

When we finished singing---a horrendous version that was nowhere close to doing the original justice---I gave Rey a kiss on the forehead before finally releasing her. "I feel like we should really make love in the green grass now," I said, thinking of the image the lyrics conjured. 

Her lips turned up into a slow smile before she spoke again. "Can we at least wait until it gets a little warmer out?"

"Warmer's probably best, yes. Say June?"

Her grin widened. "It's a date!"

A few minutes later, I met Sarah, who, appropriately enough, had brought her fifty-one-year old boyfriend named, Steven. He was a photographer, and they'd met when he'd photographed her naked for a book. 

It wasn't one of those porno ones, though, Sarah had assured us---as if people routinely set porn out in their living rooms for company to peruse at dinner parties. It was an artful collection of real-life women. I nodded like all of it made sense, and my performance was Oscar-worthy. I was more interested in their golden retriever they'd brought to the parry than I was in their weird-ass Woody Allen relationship or the photos of Sarah's side-boob that Steven thrust in our faces. 

"He's older than Nick by four months," Rey said when they were gone.

"They brought their dog," I said slowly. "To an anniversary party."

Rey burst out laughing. "They're weird. In case you haven't noticed." 

"You don't say?"

"I'm guess I'm used to it. My family's a little....different. Sorry if this is all.....a little much." Rey looked almost apologetic. 

"Don't look at me like that. Your eyes look like Steven and Sarah's dog right now."

"Well, jeez, thanks," Rey said with a laugh. 

"No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant.....it's me who should be sorry. I put you in an awkward spot when I said I'd to this with you."

"No, you didn't," She grabbed my hands in hers and held them there. "I could've said no. Made up an excuse for why you couldn't have come."

"So why didn't you?" I asked, genuinely curious to hear her answer.

She shrugged. "Maybe because I wanted you here with me, Kylo."

"I wanted to be here, too."

And it finally felt good for once to tell her the truth. But the worst lie was still hidden beneath the surface and I didn't know how much longer that I was going to be able to keep up this little charade. 


	21. Chapter 21

REY KENOBI

Somehow Kylo held his own with my family for the majority of the night. He ate the seconds and thirds of my grandmother insisted he eat because he looked like he needed "some meat on his bones," and he spent a good half hour dancing with my cousins kids--the oldest of whom was eight years old.

Seeing Kylo on the dance floor spinning around with toddlers and elementary schoolers gave a new appreciation for the goofball, who was really just a big kid himself.

The children looked like they having the time of their lives when he tried to breakdance and do the worm---a move I especially enjoyed because it looked more like he was humping the floor. He took a break to get some water and was sitting for just a few minutes before one of my cousin's twelve-year-old son, Chris, came running over to him.

"You know any _Fortnite_ dances?"

Kylo raised an eyebrow at me and then looked back to the Chris. "Nope, but I have a feeling that I'm about to learn some."

Then he headed back out and spent the next twenty minutes or so acting like a complete fool and loving every single minute of it. I pretended not to notice when he motioned for me to join him, but he relentless, finally coming over and pulling me out of my chair. 

"I'm going to teach you the Fresh," he said. "Chris told me I'm catching on quick and I should start a YouTube channel."

"I really don't think you need a YouTube channel, Kylo." 

He was swinging his arms like Carlton on Fresh Prince as he spoke. "Fine. _We_ can start a YouTube channel, then."

"And what makes you think think that I'm interested in starting with YouTube channel with you?"

He grabbed both of my hands and swung my arms out and back in again before spinning me around. "Because....we're good together, don't you think?"

I tried hard not to read into his words because, after all, that's all they were. We'd spent a lot of time here putting on an act, pretending we were something we weren't. Sometimes I got so wrapped up in the story line that I forgot that it was only a performance. But somehow during the last twenty-four hours or so, the lines between fiction and reality had become so blurry I could barely make them out anymore.

Our feelings for each other seemed real. They were evident in the small, innocent touches we shared in front of my family as much as they were during the privacy of our own room when no one else was there to watch. 

"We _are_ good together," I agreed as I moved close to him. "Great, actually."

A grin spread wide across his face before he brought his lips toward mine and gave me a soft kiss. I had to remind myself not to deepen the kiss---not to give into the near-constant desire that I had for this man---but the need to be as close him as possible was overwhelming.

I felt like I could drown in it if I didn't remember to stop and come up for oxygen. He hovered his lips over mine and barely grazed them before pulling away and dancing like a lunatic again. I couldn't take my eyes off him. 

The next morning was a lazy one, consisting of pancakes, coffee and quiet conversations in my grandparent's kitchen, where my family attempted to find out everything they could about Kylo before we left because they were scared they might never see him again. It wasn't going to be easy to tell them we broke up when the time came.

My parents would be especially devastated, as my dad already seemed to be thinking that Kylo as the son he'd always wished for. 

Not that my brother-in-law wasn't a good guy. He was. But Kylo and my dad had found some sort of connection over all things stereotypical male: sports, motorcycles, household projects. And he had just invited him on his next fishing trip.

"I said that _I_ would go," I nearly whined, sounding more annoyed than I actually was.

I couldn't help but enjoy the fact that my parents seemed invested in Kylo, even if their investment would up being as worthless as a stock on Black Tuesday.

My dad shrugged. "I already have a partner," he said, putting a hand on Kylo's shoulder. "Maybe next time."

Kylo looked at me apologetically, like it was his fault my dad had chosen him over me. "Or we could all go together," he suggested, to which my dad laughed loudly, effectively grounding the idea before it even had a chance to take flight. 

And to further squash it, he said. "That'd be a little awkward, don't you think?"

_Not any more awkward than taking your daughter's fake boyfriend on a male-bonding adventure._

"I guess," I said. Knowing the fishing trip would never come to fruition, guilt-flooded than it had all weekend. 

I'd never liked lying to my parents, and this weekend had ben true test of my ability to withstand my own conscience. I looked at Kylo, who'd just tried to grab another slice of bacon off the fresh pule on a plate next to my grandmother's stove. 

She swatted his hand away. "Holy your horses. You'll burn yourself." 

Kylo chuckled and slowly put his fingers on a strip of the breakfast meat before lifting it to his mouth and taking a bite. "Look, I survived," he said, after swallowing. "The reward's worth the risk. You really know to how cook bacon, Mee-maw."

My grandmother grinned so widely, I thought I noticed some wrinkles around her eyes and mouth that hadn't been there before. "And you really know how to sweet talk an old lady."

Leaning back in his chair with a sternness I rarely saw on him, my grandfather scolded Kylo with his eyes from the kitchen table. "Better watch it, young man. She's already taken."

Kylo held up his hands---one still holding the slice of bacon. "I've never dream of it. Besides, I got a girl." He reached an arm around my waist, and leaned down to kiss me on the temple. "And I don't plan on letting go of her anytime soon."

I knew that the comment was for show, but I smiled anyway because hearing those words filled me with a warmth I didn't want to lose. But I knew I had no choice. We'd be leaving soon, and then things would go back to how they'd been when most of what we'd seen of each other had been without clothes on.

It wasn't that I didn't like it---I freaking _loved_ it--but this, what we had here....well, I kind of liked that too. I just had to find a way to go back to normal. Whatever normal looked like now. 


	22. Chapter 22

BEN SOLO

The ride home seemed to go fast. Too fast, actually. I probably should have stayed awake for more of it so I could have fully appreciated the last few hours of our weekend together. Groggy, I checked the clock on Rey's dash, which told me we would be home in about forty-five minutes.

She wasn't aware I'd woken up, so I took the opportunity to watch her. To study every beautiful feature---the light freckles on her nose and part of her cheeks that seemed to darken in the sunlight, her strands of soft chestnut hair that she'd swept behind her ear to expose her neck, where I could swear I could see her pulse beating.

I just wanted to kiss her there, feel the evidence of her heart beating against my lips. Her eyes were hidden by dark sunglasses, and I wondered what she was thinking about.

I could sometimes tell what she was thinking--or feeling---by the look in her eyes. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking now more than ever. Reaching a hand over to place on hers, I said. "Are we there yet?"

She looked over at me, my head resting on the back of the seat as I watched her. "When did you get up, sleepyhead?"

"A few minutes ago."

Laughing, she shook her head. "You were just staring at me, weren't you?"

"Quite possibly. Does it bother you?"

She thought for a long moment before answering. "No, it doesn't. I really kind of like that you look at me."

"Good. Because I really don't have any plans to stop it anytime soon."

She didn't respond to that, and I felt a pang of anxiety. "Hey," I said, and I waited until she looked at me again. "Are you okay? Tell me what are you thinking about?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to that, but I couldn't help but ask the question anyway. Despite all the lies that had transpired since we'd reconnected, I needed the truth to be present wherever it could.

"The restaurant, actually."

I squeezed her hand in mind. "What about it?"

"Will it be kind of weird for you? If I buy it, I mean?" The thin line of her lips told me this question hadn't occurred to her just now. It was probably something she'd been wondering about for some time now.

"No. Why would it be weird?" 

"I don't know. Well, I do, but I don't know how to verbalize it." She slid her sunglasses up to the top of her head, pushing her hair back.

"Try me."

She ran her free hand over the steering wheel while she thought. "It just feels like I'm taking away something that's yours." 

"But you aren't _taking_ something, Rey. And it isn't mine to begin with."

"It's your family's, though," she said. "Your mom's. And she's not even here to agree to it. I don't know, Kylo. When I first considered buying it, we didn't have.....whatever it is that we have now. I guess, it just feels more personal now than it should." 

"It is more personal." Rey seemed to tense up at my words, and I put a hand on her shoulder and massaged it gently. "But not in a bad way by any means. I'm not going to lie, here, it's hard to see the restaurant go. There's a part of me at that place, a part of my mom....of all of us. But I can't imagine my dad selling it to just anyone."

"Then maybe he shouldn't sell it at all," she suggested.

"He's can't afford to keep it, Rey. And even if he could, he'd keep it. He can't make the repairs anymore or run the place all on his own. It's too much---and my brother and I aren't close enough to help him."

Sighing, she said. "I guess you're right."

"As much as I love being right, I wish I weren't right about this. But I know how hard it's been on him, and I know he's given this a lot of thought. I want to support him in that." I brought her hand up and gave it a soft kiss. "And I want to support you too."

'Thanks," she said. "That means a lot coming from you, Kylo."

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. 

************

Rey and I hung out a few times after we got back from her grandparent's party, and things between us had only grown even more intense. We saw more of each other---naked, of course---and Rey was becoming increasingly difficult for me to resist.

Somehow we'd transitioned from our purely physical relationship to one that seemed like something more, though, I didn't know what _exactly_ more was. 

Other than some Netflix or grabbing a bite to eat or whatever. I wondered if Rey had noticed the shift, but I didn't even want to bring it up, mainly because I didn't want to analyze what it meant. Especially if it didn't mean anything. Which, I figured, it probably didn't.

After being constantly in each other's company for a weekend, it felt almost normal to spend time together, and I didn't want to reach more into things than were necessary, especially when this would inevitably end. 

There was no building something whose foundation was built on a lie. And I reminded myself I didn't want to anyway.

I was getting dressed to meet up with her at a Korean place she wanted to try when Kylo came into the room. "What are you up to?" he asked.

"Nothing much. I'm just meeting Rey for dinner." When he didn't immediately respond, I slowly turned to look at him and saw him staring me smugly. "What?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I just didn't think I'd ever see the day." 

"What? Thursday?"

"No, you dipshit. The day you, the self-proclaimed bachelor for life, would be dating someone."

I stiffened. "I'm not saying anyone."

Kylo narrowed his eyes at me. "What do you call it then, bro?"

"Hanging out."

"Hanging out? Really? Are we suddenly back in high-school all of a sudden?"

I walked over to my bed, grabbed my sweater, and pulled it on. "What would you call it then?"

"I already told you, dude. I call it dating." 

"And I _already_ told you that we're _not_ dating."

He seemed to think for a second. "So you're banging other people, then?"

"No."

"Okay, well, then is she?"

The thought alone made my stomach hurt, but Kylo didn't need to know that. "Not that I'm aware of," I bit out.

"But you are still having sex with each other?" When I rolled my eyes at him, he continued. "So you're exclusively having sex with each other, and on top of that, you're meeting up for meals and....whatever else you two do when you're not naked."

"Okay, not that it really matters, but do you have a point in all this Kylo, or are you just trying your best to waste my time?"

He then crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. "I want you to do something for me right quick, all right. Define dating for me, Ben."

"You're such a pain in the ass," I grumbled, but he looked like he was willing to wait me out, so I answered him. "It's when two people commit to be boring with only each other. And trust me, Rey and I are anything but boring."

He scoffed. "Oh yeah, because sitting on someone's couch watching serial killer documentaries is soooo thrilling."

Why did I ever tell him anything? It proved only two things, it always either came back to haunt me or bite me in the ass. 

"Look, we haven't established that we're not seeing other people. We just happen not to be."

"Semantics. You may not have discussed it, but you've both obviously mentally made the decision to only see each other."

"I don't know that she's made that decision."

"So then you're admitting that you have?" Christ, he looked too damn proud of himself right now. I hated that. 

"I don't need to play the field when I have a sure thing lined up already," i said, even though the words tasted bitter in my mouth.

Truth was, sleeping with someone else didn't hold any appeal to me. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd even _looked_ at another woman with any intent behind it. Holy fuck, was I dating? No. Dating was something both parties agreed on.

There was a conversation and flowers and hugging and it was romantic and not like anything that had happened between Rey and me. He stood there staring at me like the freak he was, so I moved past him.

"Just because you haven't seen any action in a while doesn't mean you get to give me a hard time for having a sex life. Look, I have to go."

"Okay," he yelled down the hall after me. "Enjoy your date."

I let the door slam shut behind me and didn't even consider locking it. Hopefully someone would murder him while I was gone. 


	23. Chapter 23

REY KENOBI

I waited in the lobby of the restaurant for Kylo. He'd offered to pick me up, but I as already downtown, so it made more sense just to meet up here. Even though I kind of cursed the fact that we'd have two cars. I was fairly certain he'd come back to my place after dinner, but I would've liked to have removed all other options.

A moment later, a gust of cold air swirled around me as the door opened. Looking up, I saw Kylo enter, hunkered down into his coat against the freezing temperatures.

When he looked up and saw me, he made his way over and bent down to give me a quick kiss. As he straightened, an odd look came over his face, as if he'd been thrown by his own action---which was strange because we'd returned from my grandparents house.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He shook his head as if clearing it. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good, yeah."

I almost called him out for sounding like Snap, but he didn't look like he was being for teased. There was a tension in his posture and a strain evident on his face that put me on alert.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, trying to steer us away from the awkwardness that seemed to shroud us.

"Starving." He said it was a smile that looked genuine and made feel a little more at ease. 

We made our way to the hostess stand, checked in for our reservation, and were shown to our seats immediately. Kylo pulled out my chair before sitting across from me, and we each took a minute to look over the menus. A server quickly came to fill our water glasses inform us of the specials, and take our drink order before hurrying away.

"The shrimp special sounded good," I said as I picked up my water to take a sip.

"My brother thinks that we're dating."

His words startled me, causing me to gulp the water and choke. Grabbing my napkin, I covered my mouth and coughed into it a few times before looking up Kylo.

His eyes were wide, as if he couldn't believe he'd said the words out loud. "I maybe could've said that with more tact."

"Yeah, maybe just a bit. Now what are you talking about?"

"He came in while I was getting ready and said it was nice to see me dating someone."

"But we're not dating."

"That's exactly what I told him. But he went on and on about how if we were hanging out all the time and weren't sleeping with anyone else, then that was basically dating. And I told him that I didn't even know if we were sleeping only with each other. I mean, _I'm_ only having sex with you, but I couldn't exactly speak for you. Not that I'm accusing you of banging a ton of guys, but we haven't talked about it, so you could be. And that would be fine with me. Totally fine."

He didn't look like that would be fine, and damn if that didn't warm my insides. "Kylo," I interrupted, even though I kind of hated to because a flustered and rambling Kylo was a sight to be hold. "Relax. I'm not sleeping with anyone else."

"Olay. Good. That's good. Me neither." 

I'd gotten that message already but didn't point it out to him. "That doesn't mean that we're dating, though." I hesitated for a second. "Does it?"

We stared at each other for a pregnant moment before the severer came back and broke our staring contest. After both grappling awkwardly for our menus, the server asked if we wanted him to come back in a few more minutes. But before he left he said, "Oh I forgot we also have a beef special for two. It's popular with the couples."

He went on to describe how it was prepared, but I'd turned him out. Because while I wasn't stupid and therefore wasn't under any delusions that Kylo and I were just buddies, it truly hadn't hit me that the other people looked at us as though we were in a relationship.

Which, okay, maybe that did make me stupid. A man and woman out at dinner together screamed romantically involved. But what maybe threw me more than than people thinking that about us was that it seemed....accurate. Or maybe I just _wanted_ it to be. I knew that I had feelings for him. I'd mentally owned up to them over a week ago.

But saying them out loud was so daunting, especially since I'd told him time and again that this was just sex. Somewhere along the way, mixed signals had become my language, and I wasn't sure how to set the record straight.

Looking up at him after the server left us, I let myself get lost in his eyes and imagined a life without him. It made my chest ache. "I think we're dating." I blurted out.

He took a deep breath that made me concerned about the words that would leave his mouth when he exhaled. But then he smiled, and just like that, I knew it would be all right. "I think so, too. My brother is never going to let me live this one down."

We laughed, and then as if by some unspoken agreement, we picked up our menus. I felt like we should have more to say on the matter, but we just....didn't. We'd fallen into this change in our relationship status much like we'd fallen into every other aspect of it by complete accident.

Even thought I'd never felt like I'd had more purpose in my life. I was head-over-heels in love and I was in love with my high-school crush..... _Kylo Ren_ and the best part of it all was, he seemed to be just as in love with me and that made all the difference in the world. Things were going to be okay. We were going to be okay.

"I really think we should try that dish he suggested," I said, unable to keep myself from smiling broadly now.

"Yeah," Kylo said, nodding in agreement. "I think so to. How about we order some wine while we're at it too? Their wine list looks pretty promising."

"Sounds good to me."

"Okay, I'll remember to ask him when he comes back and takes our order." 

"Okay." 

"Maybe if we're lucky...." and I paused for the perfect affect before returning my gaze to him. ".....they'll even let us take a bottle home for later."

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Miss Kenobi?" Kylo asked, teasing. 

I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "Hmm, maybe or who knows, maybe I'm just trying to get you tipsy enough to get you into my bed once we get the heck out of here."

Kylo licked his lips hungrily. "Don't tempt me, Rey. I may just take you up on that offer and drag your ass back to the kitchens and finish the job in there with the whole kitchen staff to watch our little debauchery." 

Swallowing hard, I tried hard no to imagine the thought of Kylo bucking up into me against the kitchen stove, his hands running all over my naked body. How the hell was he able to make something so risque sound so _fucking_ hot? The inner parts of my thighs were rubbing together underneath the table, which, left me in a terrible ache. 

Biting down on my bottom lip, tugging it back with my teeth, I murmured. "I don't know, Kylo. Something tells me that I might like that."

"Oh trust me," he began, reaching for his water again and taking a short sip. He paused briefly before placing it back down and finishing his sentence. "I _know_ for a fact that you would."


	24. Chapter 24

BEN SOLO

"How much snow are we supposed to get tonight?" I pulled Rey's blinds up a bit to look outside. "It's coming down pretty heavy."

I'd spent the majority of the day here, and though I knew it was supposed to snow, I hadn't checked the weather since yesterday morning. "It said we could get up to eight inches before it's all over and done with."

I nodded as I thought about how dating someone who lived forty-five minutes from where I worked and lived could be more problematic than I'd anticipated. The snow would be enough to weigh down power lines, enough to cover Rey's whole car and ground around it. I wanted to be here with her---to keep her warm if the electricity went out, shovel out her car in the morning after we slept in and had breakfast.

And if I left tonight, it might take me hours to get home, and I had work in the morning. This was the kind of bullshit decision-making I wanted nothing to do with him. I hated how I'd have to consider the impact of my choices on someone else.

Not because I didn't care about Rey or about her life. I did. I wanted to know about her family and her interests and what she had for breakfast. I wanted to know all of it. But having my life so closely linked to another person's was a lot of responsibility---especially with someone I felt so much for.

"You still want to go out to eat? We can order something in if it's easier." I felt her arms slip around me as I looked at snow covering her law. "Or I could cook you something."

We had plans to go to a nice sushi restaurant in the city and then to see one of Rey's friends sing at some sort of open mic thing we'd promised we'd go to. "What about Rose's thing?

"She'll survive without us," she said simply. "She goes to them all the time. I went to one two weeks ago." 

"Oh." I could hear the surprise in my voice. "Why didn't you invite me then?"

I felt her shrug. I turned to face her and slid my arms around her too. "We weren't serious then," she said. "i guess hearing Rose's drunken version of Adele's "When We Were Young" isn't exactly my idea of foreplay."

I burst out with a laugh. "Well, now I really want to go more than ever."

"Believe me, Kylo, there's nothing hot about any of it. One time she threw up right as she sang the last time."

"That's.....gross."

Rey nodded slowly, like she was still traumatized from the memory itself. "The open mic was closed after that."

Both of us tried to hold in laughs that eventually escaped. "Okay, so we'll give Rose a rain check. Or a snow check, I guess I should say. But we can still go to dinner. We have reservations, and I'm sure we'll be finished eating before it gets too bad out." 

Rey thought for a long moment. "You know what? Neither of us have gotten in the shower yet. Let's just stay here. I'll make something for us, and we can find something to do here."

Raising an eyebrow, I said. "I have an idea."

"We already did that twice today?" she teased. "Three for me, actually."

"No, not that," I said. "Well, we can still do that. But I was actually thinking that we could go sledding?"

"Where? On what? Childless adult women aren't normally known for their selection of winter toys." 

"Anything can be used as a sled," I said, shocked that she'd never gone down a hill on a trash can lid. "Didn't you ever make an impromptu sled in high-school if it started snowing while you were out?"

"I feel like I should just lie and say yes."

"Oh, no. No lying." The words strung on my tongue as I said them, as I'd been able to filter them before they'd come out, I would've. But my excitement at the prospect of doing something I hadn't done in years got the best of me, and as usual, my mouth moved quicker than my brain. "If I'm going to take your household item sledding virginity, I need some advance notice." I lowered my voice to a deep rasp that I hoped would sound sexy. "It's going to feel so good."

She bit back on a smile. "What are we going to do on it?"

"What do you have? Air mattress? Laundry basket? Cookie sheet greased with PAM?" 

"Who the heck is Pam?" she asked, her face so serious, it made the comment even funnier than before. "And here I thought you said I wasn't sharing you."

I gave her a swat on her ass and then slid my hand into the pocket of her jeans. I brought my other hand up to rub the back of her head, playing with her hair between my fingers. "You don't, Rey. I'm all yours. All yours."

"Great!" she said excitedly before turning on her heel and running through the kitchen. "I'll go find us something to use right quick! Be right back."

"No, take your time!" I called out to her. "I'll just wait here." 

"I have to get the proper clothes too."

"Or just don't wear any." I teased.

The idea of Rey naked out in the snow at first was hot--- _very_ hot, actually. I was trying to reveal in the idea that was the girlfriend I've always wanted. And better yet, she was all mine. For now, at least.

I tried so hard not to think about any of that---it hurt just to think about the outcome that I soon knew would be at my doorstep. The time was drawing near, the time when I'd have to tell Rey the truth.

I _hated_ myself for going along with this for so long. Hurting Rey was never part of the plan, never. It was easier to admit that I was actually enjoying this lovey-dovey stuff that couples do in relationships---but that's not what this was.

This was deceiving----this was me going out of my own way to lie to the girl I cared about and even possibly, maybe at this point even loved. No, that's not even close. I _did_ love her. I loved her more than anything else in this entire world and I was nothing more than a fucking joke. You don't hurt the person you claim to love and here I was doing just that. 

The look on her face when I finally told her the truth, it would devastate me to my inner most core. Why hadn't I just been honest with her from the get-go? We could have saved so much heartbreak or possibly even endured even more. It was Kylo she was madly in love with---my brother, not me.

Not Ben. And that haunted me to this very day, the deception, the lies, the untold truth. 


	25. Chapter 25

REY KENOBI

I pulled my hat down over my ears before brushing off whatever snow I could from my pants. Before going outside, we'd gotten as bundled up as we could---luckily I'd gone skiing a few years ago, so I at least had some waterproof pants.

But Kylo, the poor guy, was wearing only his jeans, which, from the looks of them, were so frozen that I was worried they might actually crack and fall right off him and a sweater, a jacket and some socks for gloves. Well, at least he'd had some extra boots hidden in the backseat of his car. 

"We can go back whenever you want," I offered, though the kid in me was secretly hoping he'd hang for the long haul.

"I'm good. I've forgotten how much fun it is to sled on a golf course."

"Yeah, until we both get arrested." 

He grabbed the twin air mattress, and we headed up to the top of the hill. Even though we'd decided to go out before dinner so it wouldn't be as cold and dark, we'd already been sledding at least an hour; and the only light to be seen was the reflection of the moon on the snow---which was still falling, thought not as heavily.

What a beautiful night it had turned out to be--a perfect night for sledding. I'm glad now that he suggested it because I can't remember the last time I actually had fun like this. I owed my happiness to Kylo---I owed a lot of things to him now that I thought about it.

All those doubts I seemed to have before vanished in an instant. Maybe I can do this whole relationship thing, after all? I don't know why I was so afraid to give it a shot before. 

"We won't get arrested. No cops are worried about two old people playing in the snow at night."

"We aren't old." I looked at him for confirmation. "Are we?"

"I'm not sure. I certainly don't _feel_ old. But most of my friends are married, and some already have kids of their own."

"Mine too." 

"But that doesn't mean we're old, though. We just took a slightly different path than everybody else, is all."

"You mean a path that involves wine, trespassing and numb fingers?" he said, rubbing his hands together and blowing hot moist air into them. Poor guy, I should've gave him an extra pair of socks to wear before we headed out. I can't have him losing fingers and toes on me now. 

"Definitely the better option," I said. "I still think you should've worn a pair of my leggings under your jeans." 

"Rey, sweetheart, if I freeze to death, I can't have my family wondering if I was about to go all Caitlyn Jenner on them." 

As he positioned the air mattress so we weren't going to head toward the small pond on the eighth hole, I thought about what we'd just talked about. It was a point I didn't often labor over, though it was true nonetheless.

I didn't exactly want kids--I never really had---but I didn't _not_ want them either. I'd just never been at a place in my life where I could actually picture caring about someone else as much, if not more, than I did myself. That is, until I'd reconnected with Kylo. I found myself falling for him in a way that I tried so hard to deny.

We'd had an instant attraction that, on my part at least, had been present since high-school. But what I'd felt then, what I felt currently was more than just satisfying a childhood crush. 

And once we'd both allowed ourselves to acknowledge our real feelings, we'd gotten closer than I'd anticipate, and more quickly than I'd expected. He held a hand out to help me sit down in front of him. 

I let him pull me between his legs and wrap his arms around me. "They'd never think that. I very much doubt the morgue would tell them what you were wearing."

He squeezed my sides in an attempt to tickle me, but thankfully my coat was a thick enough defense. "Okay, two more times and then we'll head back. I've worked up quite an appetite. You ready?"

Before I could even respond, we were flying down the hill. Like every other time, the mattress was all over the place because it had two grown adults on it and no handles or other means of steering. Our breaths came out in loud puffs as we laughed after Kylo somehow fell off the back. I went about fifteen feet more before I came to a complete stop.

I lay on the mattress for a few moment, looking up at the falling snow overhead. "Hey, make room for me!" Kylo yelled.

But before I could react, he flopped down next to me, his heavy weight popping the mattress at the seam. I immediately gave him a sour look to which he made a scrunched up look on his face that read: _my bad, babe!_

"Ooops," he said as we slowly deflated all the way down to the snow. "Don't worry, I'll buy you a new one the next time I'm in town."

"Don't worry about it. I haven't used this thing since I moved out of my one-bedroom apartment a few years ago. You did me a personal favor and besides, it was just going to dry-rot in that storage closet of mine anyway. You gave it another purpose."

"Well, I'm glad that I could be of some help. But seriously? What are we gonna sled on the next time it snows?" He asked the question like it made all the sense in the world.

I just rolled my head to the side so that I could see him. Then I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. His lips where somehow still just warm enough to make me want them on other parts of me. "I guess we'll just have to invest in a two-person sled then."

"Buying a sled together, huh? That's quite a serious step. It's like....three steps away from getting a puppy."

"Uh, I think it's at least more like four or five steps till we're all in the "let's get a puppy" territory." I assured him.

This time he turned to look at me. "Okay," he said. "What color do you want?"

"White with one of those brown spots around it's eyes." I let the silence hover above us. "I'm kidding, of course. I like the red ones you always used to see around Christmas time."

"So a Santa Claus one? Got it." He smiled and rolled onto his side to bring a snowy, gloved hand to my face. "Me too." 


	26. Chapter 26

BEN SOLO

I slowly pulled up in front of Rey's town house and idled for a second, wondering if doing this in person was the best way to go about this. Though I figured there really was no _best_ way to go about it---either way it was going to fucking suck. 

The better things got with Rey, the worse I felt, because there was just no way around it: I was going to lose her either way. No scenario I conjured in my mind resulted in a happy ending for us. 

But wasn't that how things always worked out? Happy endings were for fairy tales and romcoms. Even my own parents, who'd loved more deeply than any two people I'd ever seen, hadn't gotten the happy ending that they deserved. Instead, my dad watched his wife waste away in bed as she writhed in pain from the disease that was eating her from the inside out.

He'd been her rock through it all, but I wasn't that guy. I wasn't one to settle down and go all-in. Even if Rey had made me believe for a little while that I could be.

Because my feelings for her were real, and if there was any way I could've told her the truth and kept her, I certainly would have. If I could go back to the night of the reunion and been honest from the jump, I would. 

Thought that likely would have meant never getting to know her in the first place, since she'd made it clear she wasn't fond of who I really was. But maybe that would've been for the best, because the path we were on now was headed to crash and burn. I'd been a dick keeping the truth from her, and she was likely going to begin plotting my death as soon as I told her, which I deserved.

I deserved a lot of things: her ire, her harsh words, hell, even her hatred towards me. I just wished that I deserved _her._

But I didn't, and it was time to come clean about that. I'd already waited almost two months to be honest. The very least I could do was face her wrath head-on. I climbed out of my car and made my way to her door.

I'd texted earlier to say I was heading over, and she'd told me she'd leave the door open. Which wasn't the safest thing for her to do, but I didn't feel like I was in the position to lecture her about it. 

I walked into her home and looked around. I could've seen myself spending a lot of time here if I hadn't been such a lying prick who was about to get tossed on his ass. "Rey? I'm here."

"I'll be right down," she yelled from upstairs. "Make yourself comfortable. Or you could come upstairs if you want, I don't mind in the slightest."

The flirty invitation in her voice was clear, but there was no way I could take her up on it. Not after what I was about to reveal to her tonight. "I'm just going to grab a drink of water from the kitchen."

"Okay," she yelled back, dragging out the initial vowel. 

I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and toyed with it while I waited. Maybe the kitchen wasn't the best place to have this discussion. Too many knives lying around.

But a change of venue was out of the question as she bounced into the room, immediately coming over to me to give me a kiss---which I allowed myself to soak up since I was sure it would be the last one I'd ever receive from her---and then went to grab herself a drink. 

"So what do you want to do tonight? I could go for takeout from that pub around the corner. Then maybe..." and she paused, biting down on her lips. "....we could take our evening to the bedroom and have ourselves a little fun." When I didn't answer, she looked up at me. "Are you okay? You're awfully quiet tonight."

"Yeah." My voice was raspy, as if it had been scrubbed raw with a Brillo pad. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Yeah, I'm fine. And sure, we can do that, but I _really_ need to talk to you about something first, if that's okay?"

She moved closer to me and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, so what is it?"

"It's....I need to....Fuck, this is so much harder than I thought it would be..." I scrubbed a hand over my face.

"Kylo, is this about the whole restaurant thing? Because I think your dad and I have come to an agreement that'll make everyone happy."

I put a hand to cut her off. "No, Rey, it's not that. But I'm really glad to hear that you've figured it out, really I am, but this---what I'm about to say to you, is really important and you need to hear it."

And I just hoped what I said next didn't fuck it all up. She moved closer and then rested a hand on my arm. "Okay, then what is it?"

The concern on her face nearly killed me right where I stood. How could I have done this to her? To us? I was such a fucking asshole. I loved her and she clearly loved me---I mean who the hell destroys someone they say they love? _You do_ , that's what, my inner subconscious replied with a deep scowl. 

_Yeah_ , I said agreeing with myself, I _do_ things like this to the people I care about because I'm one insufferable moron with no brains and no morals. _Fuck, I love you, Rey Kenobi, more than I ever thought I could love someone else and I just---fuck me, why did I let this go on for so long? Why?_

When I didn't respond this time, she continued, her tone more serious this time around. The air was thick with anticipation and that scared the living shit out of me

"Kylo, are you okay? Seriously, you're beginning to freak me out a little here. Talk to me. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out."

I laughed humorlessly at that statement. _Yeah, there's no way in hell we can work this out, Rey. You're about to hate me---hell, even I would hate me after something like this._ "Nothing about me is okay, Rey. Nothing at all."

"Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on? Just say it! Out with it, Kylo." 

Kylo. It was a name she had used ever since that first night, and it let me know just how scared and frustrated she must be to use it after all this time. The amount of times I had heard it slip from her mouth had made it easier for me to ignore the truth.

But this was the reality I'd carved for us: the one where I loved a woman who didn't even know who the hell who I was. 

My gaze then fell to the counter in front of me. "I'm not Kylo, Rey," I said quietly.

But she deserved better than that, so I lifted my head and owned up to the fraud that I'd allowed myself to become--the lie I'd allowed her to believe all this time. 

"I'm not Kylo. I'm Ben." My voice was strong and clear, even though I didn't feel either of those things.

She quickly withdrew her hand from me and stepped back as if I'd electrocuted her. And maybe I had with my words and the painful truth that was hidden behind them. I'd electrocuted our entire relationship in just three short words, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to revive it. In that moment, I knew that I'd lost her, I'd lost what we had---I'd lost the battle. 

We were DOA, and even though I'd known how this would end from the very beginning, tears still pricked my eyes and my throat convulsed. 

But I wasn't the one who had a right to be upset in this scenario, so I forced myself to remain strong. For once, I'd face her as the man I was, mot he one she thought I was. She stood there, mouth agape and anger quickly rushing to the surface. 

_Hit me, punch me, do whatever it is that you need to do, Rey. I deserve every ounce of your rage and I will stand here and take it like the man, a man who is so undeserving of you in every way imaginable._

"All this time I've been someone else----someone you thought---I didn't mean for it to get this far, but, I just got so wrapped up in this, in us, in you and--- _fuck!_ The truth is, my name is Ben Solo, I'm Kylo's twin and that's the truth."


	27. Chapter 27

REY KENOBI

"What?" was the only word I could force out. My lungs felt like they were constricting and I had an errant thought that I might be in the beginning stages of a panic attack.

"I-I'm so sorry," was all he said. He was in...Ben? How the hell was this even happening right now? 

"Your sorry?! Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" I turned away and pushed my hands through my hair. 

He rushed over to explain. "You said that you knew who I was, and by the time I realized you thought that I was Kylo, we'd already....you know...fucked." He gestured with his hands, as if saying the words was somehow the most uncomfortable part of this conversation. "And then when I saw you the next time, I tried to tell you, but you kept saying we didn't need to talk, and then---"

Rounding on him, I planted my hands in my hips. "Oh, so this is all _my_ fault, huh?! Is that what I'm hearing from you right now, BEN?!"

His hands shot out in front of him. "No, no absolutely not. I one-hundred and ten percent know this is completely my fault. And I know that I had thousands of opportunities to tell you, but in the beginning, I wasn't sure it even mattered because it was so casual. But then all of these other feelings started to develop, and it just got harder and harder to be honest."

"It should never be hard to be honest, no matter what the situation. Not about something as fundamental as your goddamn first name!" 

His face contorted. "Never hard to be honest? Do you even hear yourself right now, Rey?!"

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean? I never lied to you! I was always honest with you from the fucking start!"

"Nothing. That...I shouldn't have said that."

"Oh no, you don't get to be a complete chickenshit with me right now. You tell me what you meant!"

"It's just that...I mean, you're not exactly a paragon of honesty if we're both being completely honest here as you claim. We lied to your entire family for a whole weekend!"

Pointing a finger at him, I noticed my hands were shaking. Whether it was from anger or sadness or both, I didn't know. " _You_ got us into that mess, just like you got us into this one! I didn't start that shit!"

He sighed and seemed to deflate in front of me. "I'm just saying that neither one of us is a stranger when it comes to lying. And I get that mine was infinitely worse. I own every bit of that. But I didn't intentionally mislead you. You said you could always tell us apart. So why would I ever doubt that?"

"You really want to know why I thought you were Kylo that night at the reunion?" He didn't answer. "It's because you were a complete punk in high-school. Conceited and arrogant. And the man that I saw at the reunion that night didn't exclude any of that. But I see it all so clearly now, you're the same person. You've just gotten better at hiding it over the years." 

"That's not who I am, Rey and you know it. That's not who I've ever been. You didn't even know me in high-school, but you made a whole host of judgments against me anyway." 

"So you're saying that I deserve this?" I wanted to hill him. I'd never felt more capable of it. 

"No. You don't deserve any of this. But I didn't let it go this far just to hurt you. In my own stupid, idiotic way, I was just trying to keep you. I knew once I told you the truth, I'd lose you. And I let my own fears of that override doing the right thing by you. And I'm so, _so_ sorry for that. I'd do anything to take it back if I could."

So would I. I'd do anything to be able to go back and have us both make different choices. I hadn't been sure I was talking to Kylo that night. 

I'd taken a guess that I'd thought had ended up being a lucky one. But he'd made the choice to keep going with the lie. He'd made me fall in love with someone that he wasn't. And that....that was an egregious mistruth I couldn't even wrap my brain around.

"I don't even know what to say to you right now."

He shoved his hands into the pockets of the jacket he'd never even bothered to remove. "I get that. I wouldn't have much to say to me either if I were you."

We stood in my kitchen, studiously avoiding making eye contact for what felt like hours. I knew he didn't want me to hate him and the problem here was that I loved him too much to hate him, but this had to end, and it had to end right here, right now. 

"I guess---" He cleared this throat before starting up again. "I guess this is it then."

I guess it was too, but I didn't say the words. I didn't say much of anything. I just watched the man I was falling in love with apologize one more time before walking out of my kitchen, out of my house, and then out of life. It was all to surreal. 

That one minute could be rock solid and the next it could all be gone. That something I'd counted on never truly existed at all. 

But the worst part was that the person who'd made me feel things I'd never felt before, who'd claimed to have felt those same things in return too, could just...leave. I wasn't sure I could've ever gotten past the lie, but that didn't matter in the slightest. Ben hadn't even give me a chance to decide what I could live with and what I couldn't.

What I could forgive and what I couldn't get past. He'd just fucking _left_ me like that. He hadn't fought for me. And that said more about the kind of man he was than anything else. 

I slowly looked around my kitchen, took in how empty it was, and then let the tears that had been building up around me...fall. For all the things that would never be, and worse---for all the things that never really had been.

When I was finally able to pull myself together, I quickly grabbed my phone, deleted my entry for Kylo, and told myself that I'd be able to delete him just as quickly from my heart.

Ben had lied to me easily enough these past two months. What harm could there be in lying to myself that the love that I had for him would disappear just as easily. 

************

I wasn't sure why I always cooked when I was stressed. Even though I enjoyed cooking, it only created a mess I eventually had to clean up. And cleaning was not something that I enjoyed. Which made the fact that kitchen was speckled in homemade gravy and flour from handmade raviolis all the more depressing.

I cooked to distract myself. I cooked because there was some kind cantharis to it that I couldn't describe. Or at least that was usually the case. 

Though I couldn't say I'd ever used it as a way to take my mind off a devastating relationship. Cooking clearly didn't have the same effect on my mental state as it did when i used it as a way to procrastinate before studying for a test in college or after a fight with my older sister in high-school. It's been a few days since--Kylo---no, Ben--had told me the truth, and it hadn't gotten any easier. 

Not that I felt like it really should have. Every day felt like I was mourning the loss of someone I'd never even known to begin with.

All I could hope was that time and distractions would make things better. But since I didn't have a job that took up the majority of my time, all I had to take my mind off Kylo/Ben was the restaurant venue, which now seemed more awkward that ever before.

Though I hoped it would be more awkward for him than it would be for me. My cell phone rang, and I could see that it was Rose calling. We usually did a pretty good job of talking to each other at least once a week, but I hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks because she'd been away for work.

She was no doubt calling in response to the text I'd sent her about Kylo--- _Ben._ I tapped the phone with my knuckle and told her to hold on a second while I washed my hands.

"Don't tell me to hold on after you send me a text like that!" I heard her say even though the phone wasn't on speaker. 

"Sorry, Rose. I was cooking," I said, putting the phone up to my ear. "So how was Detroit?"

"Cold, and I didn't seem Eminem anywhere, so it's not even worth talking about. Now tell me what the hell's going on with you?"

"I thought I already did."

"No. I mean what's happening _now?"_

"Um, I'm avoiding him and all thoughts associated with him." I grabbed some disinfectant wipes and began scrubbing the countertop like I was cleaning up after a bloody murder.

Come to think of it, I was bit surprised there hadn't been one when'd finally come clean to me. "Well, that seems healthy enough," Rose said.

"It's better than the alternative that's for damn sure."

"Which is what?"

I hadn't really considered any specific answer to this question until Rose asked it. "I don't know, Rose. Thinking about him. Talking to him. Which I'm definitely not about to do. It's bad enough that I'll have to see him with this whole restaurant thing happening. You know how bad I am at awkward encounters."

"I guess you'll have to get better at it unless you want to retract your offer." 

There was absolutely no way I would ever let that happen. "That's nit even an option I'm willing to entertain. This isn't my fault. He can be the one who feels like the asshole. Not me."

"I'm sure he does feel like an asshole," she said, her voice way too sympathetic for my liking.

"You're seriously not defending him, are you?"

"No. I'm not defending him, Rey. He impersonated someone he isn't. It's inexcusable in every way. Even if you made the mistake initially, he had a million opportunities to tell you exactly who he really was." 

'Yeah, well....I know who he really is now and I'm so done with that shit."

"Okay, whatever you say," she muttered. 

I then switched the conversation to a lighter tone. Besides, I knew that I would spend my late night evenings with a bottle of wine and a side of tissues. I told myself crying over a guy was never worth my tears, but Ben had been the exception. He'd been the _only_ exception. 

And it was that notion that killed me the most on the inside---the fact that I was so angry with him for what he did, but yet, I _still_ loved him....so much. 


	28. Chapter 28

BEN SOLO

"Can you toss me the tape when you're done with it?" asked Kylo. "My roll just ran out."

I finished dragging out the piece I had in my hand so the blue tape hit perfectly at the edge of the ceiling. "Here," I said, not even waiting until he was ready before I chucked the tape in his direction across the room.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing. I was just trying to balance on the latter as I threw it to you."

He lifted his left eyebrow in a way that I couldn't and I'd secretly always been a little envious of. "You've been irritable for days. What's going on with you?"

I slowly climbed down off the ladder and went to grab a paintbrush so that I could start cutting in the edges of the walls. "Would believe it, I'm actually PMSing."

Kylo barked out a laugh, but he didn't actually sound amused. Truth was, I knew I'd been an asshole towards him, but there wasn't much that I could do to change that. I felt like the Bruce Banner stuck in perpetual Hulk form.

"Whatever. You'll tell me eventually. You _always_ do."

I actually wasn't sure that I would, because my already fuckup was more epic than hurting Rey. Kylo'd warned me that I might screw over our family in the process, and I wasn't about to share that news with him, especially here in the restaurant when I was supposed to be helping Dad, not hurting him.

"Who the hell picked out this paint color? Dad doesn't strike me as a dark purple kind of guy."

Kylo groaned something unintelligible that probably meant he had no clue who'd picked it. "Maybe Rey," he said like it made all the sense in the world, because how would he know otherwise?

I laughed harshly at this mention. "Yeah, I highly doubt that."

I felt Kylo walk toward me more than saw him. It was one of those telepathic twin connections that was impossible to explain unless you _were_ a twin. "What the hell did you do, Ben?"

When I turned toward him, he was standing directly in front of me, his arms crossed in a way that made me think he was more disappointed than angry. It only made me feel worse than I already did about the whole situation.

"What do you think?"

His dark eyes bored into mine for a silent moment that was filled with more emotion than any words could convey. I stood to meet his intense stare, and to avoid the tears that would inevitably find their way behind my eyes if I looked at him long enough. 

I said, "Look, I don't need your shit too, okay? I heard quite enough from her."

"My God, you're such a moron, Ben."

"Thanks, Kylo. That's exactly what I needed to hear."

He pulled at his hair before letting his hands run down his face. "Did you ever stop to think about what Dad needed?"

I felt my voice rising with my anger before I'd even spoken. "Are you fucking serious, Kylo? How can you even ask me that? It's the whole fucking reason I didn't tell her sooner. _You_ are the one who made me keep this secret, remember? I wanted to be honest with her, and maybe if I'd been honest with her earlier, we wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place!"

"Or maybe she would've backed out of the deal sooner."

"Yeah, well, I guess we'll never know now, will we?" Suddenly, the atmosphere in the restaurant was thick, stifling even, and I found myself needing some fresh air. I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.

"Where are you going, Ben? Are you seriously just going to leave all this for me and Dad?" Kylo called out. 

His question didn't stop me. Nor did I respond to it. Once outside, I waited a minute before putting my jacket on and leaning against the brick exterior. I found myself wishing I smoked because I would've felt less awkward hanging out on a city street.

There was something purposeful about people who stood outside with cigarettes in their hands, like each drag gave them a specific reason for being there. 

No one looked at them with suspicious eyes as they walked past, assuming they must be up to no good because no one in their right mind would willingly stand outside on a fifteen-degree night. But I wasn't one of those people. A woman walked by, moving her bag to the arm closer to the street as her gaze darted over to me and when quickly away again. 

_I'm not that much of an asshole_ , I wanted to say to her. I felt so lost, like no matter where I was, I shouldn't be there. I couldn't go back inside and face Kylo and my dad, who no doubt had heard us arguing form the kitchen but chose not to intervene.

And I couldn't just go home, because, as Kylo had so appropriately pointed out, I'd be leaving them on their own to do something I'd promised I'd help with. I was a better man than that. 

Preparing to to back inside, I took a few more breaths letting the frigid air fill my lungs before releasing it again. I wished I could release the stress of all of this just as easily. I was about to go back in when the door suddenly opened.

"I don't want to talk about it, Kylo," I said.

"That's too damn bad," was the reply I got, but it wasn't from Kylo. My dad put his hand on the back of my neck and massaged it roughly like he used to after lost a baseball game. It occurred to me that he hadn't done that in so long that this was probably the first time had to reach up to touch me instead of down. "We're going to talk, or at least _I_ am. As long as you're listening, I don't really give a shit whether you reply or not."

He released my neck and positioned himself next to me against the wall. I was thankful we weren't facing each other, because the idea of looking him in the eyes terrified me. 

Not in a way that instilled actual fear---I'd never had a reason to be scared of my father---but in a way that made scared of my own feelings when I saw the disappointment in his face. I knew that face. I'd seen it when I got caught drinking in high-school and when I failed a class my first semester of college.

I hadn't seen it since, and I really just wanted it to keep it that way for as long as I possibly could. 

"Kylo filled me in on what happened," he said, confirming what I already had assumed.

I didn't reply because he'd told me I didn't have to, and since I really had nothing of value to say, I was more than content to stay silent. 

He continued. "You really dug yourself into a hole this time, son."

I rubbed my toe on a crack in the sidewalk and shoved my hands deep into my pockets after pulling my collar up to block the wind. "I'm sorry, dad," I told him. "If she doesn't buy the restaurant..."

I let my sentence remain unfinished because I didn't really know how to end it. There wasn't anything I could do to make sure the deal went through, so there was really no point in bringing it up in the first place other than to let my dad know I was more upset about how my fuckup affected his life than how it affected my own. 

"She's not."

"What?" I snapped my head up and brought my focus from the ground to meet my dad's eyes, mine already stinging with the tears welling up behind them.

"We decided a little while ago that it'd be best if she didn't buy it. She was more concerned about how the sale might affect you and....Kylo," he said, the beginning of a smirk on his lips, but he managed to control it. 

"Wait a second, you mean to say that you knew she had us mixed up this whole time?" He nodded. "And you did say anything? To either of us, I mean?"

"And why would I? It's none of my business." I was so tempted to tell him it was absolutely _was_ his business, but he continued before I could even get my thoughts together. "Plus, I'd knew you'd tell her soon enough anyway."

"Y-You did?"

"Sure," he said. "I'm actually a bit surprised you didn't tell her earlier. You got way more involved with that poor girl than I'd ever expected you to."

I tried to make some sense of his words, but I just couldn't. "What does that even mean?"

"It means you usually shut the engine of before the bike even has a chance to go anywhere."

"Are you really using motorcycle because you think I'm too stupid to understand it any other way?"

We both laughed, but it was clear neither of us found the situation funny. "I'm using motorcycle metaphor because I'm nicer than saying you've sabotaged every relationship that ever had a chance of becoming anything." 

His comment surprised me because it wasn't true. At least I didn't _think_ it was. "I haven't sabotaged anything. Nothing works out, that's all."

"Okay," was all he said, but his tone told me he didn't believe a word I'd said. 

And something told me the more I thought about what he'd said the more I wouldn't believe my words either. 

"So you're not going to sell the restaurant? Or you aren't going to tell it to Rey? You can't afford to keep it, can you?"

"No, I can't afford to keep it," he answered. "At least not by myself. Which is one of the reasons why Rey suggested we go into business together. She figured it would be a good way to let me keep the restaurant in the family name and still have her be a part of it. It'll be good for us, and my passion for this place is back."

I was _not_ expecting that, though Rey had mentioned that she knew my dad was selling the restaurant would be hard for me. 

"Well, this is going to be awkward as hell."

"Only as awkward as you make it out to be, son."

*************

I had likely reached a certain level of stalker as I sat in my car outside Rey's house, but I wanted to talk to her, and I was worried she wouldn't take any of my calls. So here I was. Like a creeper. This sucked. It shouldn't be like this between us.

I shouldn't feel this baffling mix of excitement and worry to see someone---especially someone I cared about so much. But I needed to man up because someone else I cared about had been dragged into this mess of mine too, and I couldn't let my dad suffer because I was a fuckup. 

They'd come to the agreement before we'd fought, so there was no guarantee Rey would still want to be my dad's partner. I threw open my Jeep door with a burst of purpose, shoved my hands into my pockets and walked right up to her door.

I rapped on it quickly before returning my hand to my pocket. There was a long enough wait to make me question on whether she was going to open the door not.

I knew she was home, or at least strong suspected it, since her car was parked out front. But eventually she did open it--just enough to fit herself in the open space. She looked good---not that, that was surprising. She _always_ looked beautiful in my eyes.

But in a soft white sweater and tight jeans, Rey was stunning and I wished so badly that I hadn't lost the right to tell her so. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not necessarily unkindly but not warmly either. There was a weariness and a wariness to the question that made my insides feel squirrely. 

"I um...I needed to talk to you...about the restaurant." 

"What about it?" She leaned against the doorjamb and crossed her arms over her chest....the same stance she'd adopted the last time I'd seen her. It was as if she felt needed to protect herself from me, which made me hurt all over.

"I just want to make sure you know I'll stay out of your way there. I don't want my mistakes to hurt my dad's chances of this deal going through. He seems excited to co-own it with you, and I don't want to cost him that."

She narrowed her eyes at me. She looked like a praying mantis who was about to eat off my head. "So what's what you think me, huh? Great. That’s just...perfect.” 

"Um, what?" 

What I thought of her? I was worried what she thought of me, sure. But her....she was amazing. How could I ever think anything differently? I _loved_ her. More than anything else in this world—I loved her and I didn’t deserve her. 

"You must really, truly, honest to God think I'm extraordinarily petty if you think I'd compromise not only my own business opportunities but also the chance to work with a man I respect as a business owner and would value as a partner because of my personal feelings about his son."

"Okay, so....that's not even close to what I meant."

Jesus, how was it possible I'd fucked this up even worse? Had some warlock put a curse on me or something? Because this was getting ridiculous and completely out of hand. Why was I so bad at owning up to my own bullshit. 

How come celebrities never had this much trouble in all the romcoms we watched? Oh, yeah, that’s right, they were only acting. Someone else was paying them to say those lines, feel those hardcore emotions—none of that was going to help me in my own sticky situation of a fucked up mess. 

“Then what did you mean?"

"I just didn't want anything that happened with us to impact how you felt about my dad. He's the best guy I've ever met, and I don't want you to think badly of him just because of he raised a moron."

"You're a grown-ass man, Ben. No one is responsible for your decisions except you."

"Yeah. Right. Exactly. Good. I'm glad we got that settled, then."

She looked at me like I was an idiot, which in her defense, was fair, because I was. "Goodbye, Ben." And just like that, the door between us was closed once more.

"Goodbye, Rey," I said, softly before returning to my truck. 

Once inside, I gripped the wheel tightly, as if doing so would keep all the emotions swirling inside me from spilling out of my pores. When I'd fallen in love with motorcycles in my early twenties, it had been a done deal for me. There'd been no doubt from that point on what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Even though the thought of not working on bikes anymore made my chest feel heavy. Despite my reluctance to commit to things, once I did, it was forever.

And as I sat there with blurry vision and a scratchy throat, I knew the same applied to my feelings for Rey. Forever was a long time to have to live with the heaviness of not being able to have her in my life. And I wasn't sure how I would be able to manage it. 


	29. Chapter 29

REY KENOBI

Today had completely sucked. To be fair, all my days since Kylo---I mean, Ben (I really have to start to calling him by his real name), had come clean as Benjamin Solo had sucked. But seeing him today, looking all sad and sorry, was particularly hard. 

Especially since he'd only come because he was worried sick about his dad. Not about me or our relationship. There had been moments I'd been able to convince myself that it hadn't been all a lie. No one was that good of an actor--at least some of his feelings for me had been real. But then I remembered how easily he'd walked away, both a week ago and today, and it cemented how little I knew the real him. 

How deceived I'd been about who he was. Because a name was just a that: a name. Hadn't William Shakespeare written something about names not mattering?

A rose would smell sweet no matter what you called it or however the saying went. If the man behind the name had been real, I maybe could've agreed with that sentiment. I maybe could've gotten past it.

And granted, maybe it wasn't the best of odds, but there was a chance. If Ben had only shown me that he wanted it. But he hadn't, and he didn't, and that's what had driven me to the _gym,_ of all places, on a Wednesday night. Maybe if I worked out hard enough, exhaustion would replace some of the pain that came from my heart being blown into jagged shards inside my chest. 

I walked into Planet Fitness and was immediately greeted with the smiling face of Jessika, one of their trainers. "Rey, you've come to take a whack at my hot yoga class? How wonderful!"

"I have?" I asked as I scrunched my face up.

"You have," she said purposefully. 

"That actually doesn't sound like me at all." I'd done yoga before, but doing it while sweating to death sounded akin to torture.

"Then maybe you should try sounding like someone else for a change." The teasing evidently clear in her voice, but her words made me suck in a breath. 

At this point and time in my life, I'd love nothing than to _be_ someone else---someone who hadn't fallen head over heels in love with a complete fucking liar. 

"Okay," I said, nodding. "I'll give it a try."

"Sweet! Class starts in ten minutes. We have some mats outside the studio if you need to borrow one."

I gave her a small smile, said a thank-you that I didn't even mean, and went to the locker room to lock up my belongings. Since she was drafting people at the front desk, I expected the hot yoga studio room to be empty, but it was nearly full. I rolled out my mat in an open space and stretched to keep myself occupied. 

A few minutes later, Jessika came in. "No way, you two. I already reserved spots for you up front and center."

I turned to see who she was talking to, and I noticed the gym owners. Amylin and D'Acy, standing on mats in the back corner of the room. "Come on, Jess. We're just fine back here." D'Acy practically whined. Had she just called her Jess.

She pointed a finger at them. "You are going to pay for calling me that out in public. And you are most certainly not fine back there. Up front."

"She's so bossy." D'Acy mock-whispered. "Who the heck hired her anyway?"

"You did." Amylin grumbled as she started toward the front of the room. 

"You always let me do the dumbest things." D'Acy was shaking her head if she had deep regret over her choices.

"Keep it up, jokers. You'll regret even signing up for my class."

"You signed us up for this class," Amylin argued as she got settled on the mat Jessika evidently set up for them at the front of the room. 

"Whatever," she said. 

"I know what's happening here," D'Acy declared. "You're literally trying to kill us. Well, your evil plot won't work, Jess. The villain never defeats the heroes in the stories, you know that."

Jessika slowly walked toward her, stepping right into her space. "Did you really just refer to _me_ as the villain in this scenario?"

D'Acy seemed to weigh her next words carefully. "I may have spoken a little rashly on that last bit."

Next to her, I could see Amylin smiling widely, clearly enjoying the scene playing out in front of her. I'd suspected for a while there was something more than friendship going in between the three of them, but I didn't know any of them well enough to know for sure.

But there was definite chemistry there, and it made me more jealous than it had a right to. Jessika's stare slowly devolved into a smile. "You're lucky you're cute," she said before moving away from him and getting the class started.

An hour later, I was convinced I'd have been drier if I'd been caught in a rainstorm. But on the plus side, I hadn't thought about Ben during my session. Too bad the effect hadn't lasted longer. Like forever. At least a portion of my distraction was due to the painful grunts of Amylin and D'Acy om front of the room. 

It was clear the two women weren't used to contorting their bodies in graceful ways. They both fell onto their mats and sprawled out like starfish just as soon as Jessika announced glass was over.

"We survived. I mean, we actually survived," D'acy said through harsh pants. 

"Speak for yourself," Amylin grunted.

"Get up, you drama queens. You need to hydrate," Jessika said as she stood over them, looking highly amused. 

She lifted her head and her gaze caught mine, which made me realize that I'd been staring. I quickly wiped down my mat and put it away, waved my thanks, and hightailed it out of there. After grabbing my stuff, I left the gym, my body enjoyed the rush of cold air. Starting toward my car, I found myself hesitating to continue in that direction. 

I didn't want to go home yet. I didn't want to be social either, so calling any of my friends was completely out of the question.

Noticing a bar a few doors down from the gym, I decided that having a drink in the presence of people I didn't have to actually speak to was appealing. Walking into Star-Killer Pub, I took in the dated exterior. 

Light wood floors gave way to green walls. The bar took up an entire wall and had red cushioned stools beside it. I slid onto one, and the bartender immediately came over. "How you doing? What can I get for you?"

"A Cosmo, please."

He moved away to fix it, and I shucked off my jacket and draped it over the back of my chair. Thankfully I'd worn a long-sleeved shirt over my tank top to the gym, so I felt a little more appropriately dressed than being completely sweaty workout gear. I removed a twenty from my wallet before putting it back in my small gym bag, which I then attached to the small hook under the bar. 

The bartender returned with my drink and asked if he could get me anything else. When I declined, he grabbed the twenty and returned with my change a moment later. 

I sipped my drink, enjoying the way the fruity flavor slid down my throat and the alcohol warmed up my chest. My mind whirled, struggling to latch on to one particular train of thought. Instead, I was being bombarded with a barrage of musings that left me wondering when things were going to get better. As I took another sip of my cocktails, I noticed someone sit on the stool next to mine, even though there was other available nearby. 

The bartender came over and tossed a coaster onto the bar. "What can I get you, sir?"

"Can I get a Miller Lite?" the man beside me said, and the familiarity of his voice made me freeze up. I slowly panned toward the man who'd just sat down beside me and my mouth dropped. _No fucking way!_

From the amused look on his face, I may have said that last bit out loud. "Of all the fucking gin joints in all the world."

Part of me---the panicked part who was losing it at being confronted with the man who looked exactly like his brother and who I'd thought I'd been in a relationship with---wanted to guzzle my drink down and run. But the sane part wouldn't allow myself to show that level of weakness. So I ignored him and played with the stem of my glass as though I didn't have a care in the world.

"Well, I'm really glad this isn't awkward," he commented. 

I turned to him in disbelief. "I didn't ask you to sit down next to me." 

The bartender dropped off Kylo's drink but didn't hang around. Kylo took a swig from the bottle of lager and then turned his attention back to me again. "What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment."

He smiled, but it looked all wrong. His canine was slightly crooked, giving his smile a bit of a comedic quality. His eyes were also the wrong shade of brown than his brother's, a little too dark to truly pop against dark eyebrows that were slight lighter than his twin.

Kylo was an attractive man, but it was very easy to tell the twins apart once you knew what to look for. That sudden realization actually put me more at ease.

I wasn't having a drink with a Ben doppelganger; I was stuck next to a man I could treat as the complete stranger that he was. "It seems like I'm the one being punished," I muttered as I faced the bar once more.

He chuckled at that took another drink. The silence between us lasted long enough for me to hope he wasn't going to attempt to hold a conversation. I'd finished my drink and get the hell out of here as fast as I could. 

"It was partly my fault, you know," he said, causing my hope to go up in flames. "He really wanted to tell you, but I convinced him not to when he found out you were interested in our Dad's business. I didn't want the deal to fall through."

I let out a humorless laugh. "You and your brother seem to have very high opinions of me."

"I honestly don't think Ben's ever had a higher opinion of anyone than he does for you." 

"Yeah, after the months of lying to me really drove that one home."

"Do you really think that."

"What? That he has a very _low_ opinion of me? Yes."

Kylo shook his head. "No, not that part. Though that's bullshit too, for the record. But do you really think he was lying to you the whole time?"

Narrowing my eyes, I felt my brow furrow. "Uh, yeah. He admitted it to me to my face."

"He admitted to letting you think that he was me, and sure, even I can give you that, that wasn't his best moment. But that doesn't mean you didn't get to know who he was."

I rubbed my forehead with my fingers. "Kylo, no offense, I really don't need this shit right now." 

He turned more fully toward me and looked at me intently. "Okay, but just please let me say this one thing. Ben is....complicated. He has been for a very long time. Who he thinks he is and who he actually is are to very different people. It was like he spent the past ten years being fucking Pinocchio, and then you came along and turned him into a real boy."

"Funny. I see it as the reverse since he's been lying to me since the reunion."

"Shit, I'm totally fucking all of this up. It's just..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I get that he lied about his name, but everything else---how he felt, who he actually _was_ when he was with you---that was all real. It was the most real that I've ever seen him be in years. And I hate that I played a part in ruining that for him. Look, maybe if you guys could just talk it out---"

I held up a hand to stop him. "We did that. He had this chance to say what he needed to. _Twice_ , in fact. And none of it hinted at any of the things you just described to me."

"That doesn't mean they aren't there, Rey. Look, I have only seen him look at one other woman the way he looks at you and she has his eyes and shares his DNA."

"That may be, but I don't owe him the benefit of the doubt. I don't owe him anything," I stood and grabbed my things. 

Kylo visibly deflated, probably knowing that he couldn't argue with it. I had no debts to pay in this situation, and no amount of tugging on my heartstrings was going to change that. Pushing the stool back so I could slip past him, I said what I hoped would be the last thing I'd ever say to either of them.

"Kylo, If you guys don't want to live with your regrets, don't do things that could cause them in the first place."

And with that, I left, wishing that this shitty-ass day would just fucking end already. 


	30. Chapter 30

BEN SOLO

I woke up feeling anxious and frustrated, knowing I had to get out of my apartment. With no real destination in mind, I got in my car and drove and drove. But I wasn't all that surprised when I pulled up to my dad's house. As I walked in, I felt the constant thrum of anxiety calm a bit.

He was my rock, my anchor. And while the negative feelings swirling around my body didn't disappear, they became manageable in my childhood home. 

I heard dishes clattering in the kitchen, so I made my way in that direction. My dad must have heard my footfalls, because he was staring at the doorway when I stepped into it. "Morning," he said. "You hungry?"

I wasn't, but I wanted the normalcy that came from him cooking for me in his kitchen. "Yeah. I'm starved." 

He gestured to a stool across the island bar from where he stood. "Have a seat." He pulled more eggs out of the fridge and set about making me an omelet. A mug of coffee appeared in front of me a minute later. 

"Thanks," I said quietly before taking a ship. I hadn't talked to my dad since he'd read me the riot act about lying to Rey, but there was none of the awkwardness I'd expected. He plated my eggs and slid them in front of me before tossing me a fork. "Mom would've yelled at you for throwing her utensils in her kitchen."

That made him laugh. "Yeah, she would've. There are a lot of things she would've yelled at me about."

A lump formed in my throat, and I quickly took a big bite of eggs to try and force it down. "Do you miss it?" I asked, my voice quiet as I looked down at my food.

"What? You mean her yelling at me for no reason?" he asked with a smile.

It was maybe a weird question to ask him, a weird thing to want to know, but it suddenly felt incredibly important to me that I get an honest answer to it. He rested his forearms on the island and leaned forward on them.

"Yeah, I miss it. I miss everything about her."

"Still?" I asked, finally looking up at him.

He returned my gaze, the look in his eyes intent with pure, raw honesty. "Every damn day."

The next question formed on my tongue, but I bite it back. There was no tactful way to ask him about it, no polite way to phrase it. But it felt like my subconscious had brought me here for answers, and I'd already done a million other stupid, idiotic things. What was one more?

"Dad? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Was it worth it?"

My dad's brow furrowed at this question. "Was what worth it?"

"Loving her, I mean? Was loving her worth the pain of losing her?" 

He straightened to full height and ran a hand down his face before he settled his palms on the tile. "Well, let me ask you this? Was it for you?"

"She was my mom. And of course, it was worth it. And I didn't really have a choice but to love her. But you _chose._ And then you lost her, and I just....I need to know, Dad. If you got to do it over again, would you still make the same choices?" 

My vision suddenly went fuzzy, and I dipped my head a bit to hide the welling in my eyes.

My dad ducked down to catch my gaze with his. "In a heartbeat. She was the love of my life, and she gave me my two boys. Do I wish that I got to have her with me for longer? Absolutely. But I never for a single second regretted loving her, because while being without her hurts, the thought of not having had the chance to love her at all is unbearable." 

"But what if it's too late?"

"It's never too late, son."

"But it is....Mom....she's gone."

"Yes, your mother is gone now, but it's like I've always said, what she stood for, what she fought so hard for, that's not gone. And you know that, Ben."

That's when the tears fell. I felt his streak down my cheeks as my dad rounded the counter and dragged me to him like he used to when I was a kid. The hug was rough and tight and everything I needed from him.

I sank against him and let myself find the comfort that I wasn't even sure I deserved but needed all the same. He held me for a minute, and I was able to get myself under control again.

"When I asked if losing her was worth it for you, I wasn't talking about Mom." His voice was rough in my ear, full of his own emotions, but I didn't pull away. "You've got to ask yourself something here, Ben. And be honest. Was letting Rey go the way you did worth how you feel right now? Because you had what you mother and I have, son. Or at least the beginnings of it. And now you have the pain that comes with not having it anymore."

"I fucked up, dad. I really fucked up big-time. I love her so much."

He pulled back and cupped my face in his big hands so that I couldn't look away. "But you didn't lose her. You let her go. And that's a difference you're either going to have to live with or do something about." He took a step back. "Now, eat your eggs." 

Wiping my face. I took a deep breath and settled back onto seat. I scooped up some eggs, but before I brought them to my mouth, I said, "Dad?"

"Yeah, Ben?"

And maybe it was odd for the words to make me uncomfortable, but they weren't words we'd exchanged often. They were words intrinsically knew without them having to be said. But I was coming to learn that a lot of things could get lost in the silence, and there were some things that needed to be made clear before you lost the chance to do so.

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too, son."

Returning his smile with a small one of my own, I dug into my breakfast, and he started talking about the odds of Brady winning yet another championship.

Things between us had been restored to their factory settings, and it felt so good to have one relationship in my life back to the way that it should be. Now, I just had to figure out what to do about the other one. 

************

I didn't know what to do with my hands. Or my eyes. And my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. But in some strange way, it felt like my chest was completely empty, with no heart beating at all. Rey would no doubt probably agree with that. 

I was scared to death of what might happen over the next few minutes. It wasn't that I was afraid to tell her how I really felt. It was what her reaction would be that had my palms sweating and my throat dry. I guzzled part of a bottle of water before setting it back in the cup holder and shutting off the ignition.

My dad had told me Rey would be at the restaurant getting a few things ready before the grand re-opening this weekend, and I was hoping that meant she couldn't just take off it she didn't want to see me.

I told myself that I'd respect her wishes if she asked for me to leave, but I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to if it came to that. At least not without saying what I wanted to say to her, that is. I'd given up without a fight, and if my last two interactions with Rey were any indication, I'd better be ready for one. I zipped up my jacket up to my chin and jogged toward the front door; hoping like hell it was open.

If it was locked, I was fairly certain Rey wasn't going to open it once she knew who stood on the other side. I pulled it lightly and sighed in relief when it opened. 

I could see Rey toward the back, sitting at the bar with her back to the door. She didn't turn around, so she must not have heard me. She was obviously too distracted by the music playing through a Bluetooth speaker behind the bar and the mountain of paperwork she was studying in front of her.

I watched her for a length of time more appropriate for a lion hunting unsuspecting prey than for a human to stare at another person without their knowledge. If I'd felt like a stalker before, I was pretty damn sure this visit might result in a restraining order. 

I managed to sit a few seats down from her without her looking my way, and again my hands couldn't find a place they felt comfortable. I rubbed my thighs and cracked my knuckles and pushed my hands in and out of my jacket pockets. I wasn't sure if I cleared my throat as a way of alerting her to my presence or if it was another nervous tic, but she she heard me, she startled for a moment before finally realize that it was me.

And she looked back down at her papers. "Your dad's not here, Ben." She picked up a pretzel from a bowl beside her and place it into her mouth. 

"Yeah, I know that. I um....I came to see you, actually. Third time's the charm, I'm hoping." I laughed softly, but it was absent of any real humor. She didn't laugh, and that didn't surprise me at all. "Can we talk for just a few minutes?"

She set her pen down and straightened her posture in a way that came across as professional distant, giving me a glimpse into what all future interactions might look like now that she worked with my father.

"I really honestly don't know what else there is to talk about, Ben." She didn't sound angry. She sounded like she was stating a simple fact. "I think I've said everything that I needed to say to you."

"But I haven't," I replied, my voice urgent with the need to speak before she stopped me or I lost the courage to do so.

Like I had, she laughed, but hers sounded more disgusted than awkward. Her lips were tight---her expression filled with something that I couldn't describe other than to say it made my insides feel all icky. 

I'd planned this conversation so many times in my mind over the past twenty-four hours. What I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, possible responses to her replies, if she even chose to reply to any of it. But never in my imaginary scenario had I begun our conversations how I did. 

"Do you really want to know what I like best about having a twin brother?" 

She was silent for a moment. "Other than the fact that you can impersonate each other whenever it's convenient for you, you mean?" 

"I deserved that."

"No fucking shit, you did." If I didn't know she still despised me, I would've thought I recognized a lightness to her voice I hadn't heard since our breakup. But I knew better than to point it out to her.

"Look, Rey, I deserve a lot of things," I said. "I deserve your anger and your hate. I deserve to be called a liar and any other horrible word you can think of to call me. The only thing that I don't deserve is you."

She looked over at me, holding my stare, which I didn't dare let go of. God, I could fall into those hazel eyes for the rest of my life. I _wanted_ to....I really did. 

"But that doesn't meant that I won't fight for you anyway."

"I don't _hate_ you," she said.

Her comment comforted me more than it probably should have. "I've been absolutely miserable without you, Rey. I'm sick to my stomach because of it. And even though it's completely selfish of me to ask you to give me a second chance, I can't just let you walk away. Not again."

I felt like I'd let all of that out without taking a breath, so I inhaled deeply to replace to the oxygen that seemed to be missing from my lungs. 

She sighed and popped another pretzel into her mouth. "What is it that you love about having a twin brother?"

I'd completely forgotten that I'd even asked her the question, but I knew the answer anyway. "It's that I have someone who knows me better than anyone else does. Someone who can finish my sentences and will call me out on my bullshit when it's needed."

"Now nice for you," she said, not even bothering to hide the sarcasm in her voice. 

"I'm telling you this because, before you...before we had whatever it was that we had, the only person I felt that way about was Kylo. I could never imagine having a connection with someone else like that, and I never wanted to." I thought I saw her eyes soften a bit, but it was difficult to tell in the dim light. "I know that I told you it didn't matter what my name was because you knew the real me, but I realize now that's not true at all. You don't know the real me. Not completely, anyway." 

She tensed, pressing her lips together before she finally said, "You know what? On second thought, I don't even want to hear whatever it is you're about to say. I've heard enough of your lies. I'm done with it all." 

She waved her hand, dismissing me and anything else that I had planned on sharing with her. _Do it, Solo, it's now or never. Fucking do it....now!_

"I love you, Rey," I blurted out. "And that's not a lie. Not even close to one. And if I'm being honest with myself, I've loved you for a while now, but I was too much of a chickenshit to tell you. You want to know who I really am? Fine. I'm a coward and I'm selfish, and I make one bad decision after another." I nervously brushed some imaginary lint off of my pants.

"Keep going." 

"And I know that I should've told you that I wasn't Kylo that first night, but I didn't, and I can't change that. In typical Benjamin Organa-Chewbacca Solo fashion, i dug myself a hole that I couldn't climb out of. And I didn't want to, because telling you the truth could've meant not only losing my dad's deal, it could've meant losing you as well." 

"But you told me eventually anyway," Rey said softly. 

I could tell none of it made any sense to her, and she was right for being confused. It had made no sense to me either until my talk with my dad.

"And you still lost me."

"I'm trying really hard to change that." 

"So keep trying," she said. 

I had a chance, thought probably not a good one. "I was just so scared that you'd leave me, so I pushed you away. You said that you wanted to know who I really am, but it's really better off that you didn't. I'm an asshole who has no idea how to be in a relationship because I never thought I wanted one. I was terrified to have one. I watched my dad lose the love of his life---someone he loved for over twenty-years---and he hasn't been the same since. I can't even imagine going through something like that."

My gaze locked with Rey's, and she looked like she was almost fighting back her own tears at this point. So, I felt that I should keep going---to get through to her.

"So I pushed away the best thing that's ever happened to me before I could love you more than I already did. Because any more time with you would only make the inevitable end that much more difficult."

Rey was quiet. Thankfully she didn't look angry anymore. Just sad. I wanted so badly to hug her, to hold her in my arms, to love her as she deserved to be loved. 

"Look, I'm not asking you to pick up right where we left off. It would be pretty naïve of me to think that we ever could." 

"Than what we you asking, Ben?" 

I thought I saw her facial expression fall a bit, but like my admission disappointed her even more than I already did. 

"I'm only asking that you give me a chance to start over again---to do it right from the beginning this time. And if it doesn't work out, then I guess we really aren't meant to be together. But I just want to try." My voice was soft, my eyes pleading. "I want you to _let_ me try, Rey."

She shook her head, but it seemed more out of doubt than a refusal. "How do we just start again after all that?"

She'd opened the door a crack. Now all I needed to do was push it open enough to fit through it. I gave her a shy smile. "Do I know you? You look so familiar, but I can't figure out where we've met."

It took her a moment to realize what I was dong, but I could tell when she did because a lopsided smile played at the edge of her lips. She leaned her elbow on the bar and propped her head up in her hand as she looked at me. 

"You know what? I think we went to high-school together." 

"Yes!" I pointed at her excitedly. "Rey Kenobi. I remember you now. You're so much more beautiful than I remember. Gorgeous, actually." I added softly.

"I was a bit of a nerd back in high-school." It could've been wishful thinking, but I thought I saw her move a little closer to me. 

"And I was an arrogant prick who only cared about myself."

Releasing her head from her hand, she smiled. "Now see, if you had introduced yourself like that to me at the reunion, I would've known you were Ben immediately." 

"I'm trying to be serious here, Rey," I said, though my laugh told her otherwise. 

I was being sincere, but the fact that she was joking with me flooded my veins with a relief I never expected to feel. "I'm sorry, Ben," she said. "Please continue."

I extended my hand out to her, and I relaxed even more when she took it. It had been too long since I'd touched her. "Ben Solo," I said. "It's so nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you again too, Ben. Seems like I'm not the only one who's changed a lot since high-school."

"No, Rey," I said. "You're not." 

She exhaled deeply and said, "And here I thought, I was always going to be alone."

"You're not alone." I whispered softly. "And you won't be....not ever again."

"Neither are you." she added. 


	31. Chapter 31

REY KENOBI

Until he'd come into the restaurant, I hadn't realized how much I'd truly missed him. But I'd had time to think about all of it, to accept that a part of the misunderstanding--albeit a very tiny part--that been my fault. And even though the continuation of the misunderstanding--lie---had been Ben's fault, the truth was, just like him, I'd been miserable every since we split up.

I could tell he was trying desperately to hold back a grin as he brought my hand up to his lips. When he released it, I missed his touch immediately. I needed it again, needed more of him this time.

"I'm not usually this forward," I said. "but would it be okay if _I_ kissed you first this time around?"

He brought his hand up to my cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb. "It'd me more than okay. In fact, it'd be perfect."

And with that, our lips found the other's, and somehow we were right back to where we were before, no longer in the roles of virtual strangers who'd reconnected at a bar. We were Ben and Rey, two people who loved each other but were terrified beyond reason to tell the other.

"I was scared too," I said, pulling away between breathless kisses.

"Of what?" His lips found my neck after removing my shirt, and they worked down my body from my collarbone to my breasts. I moaned, feeling his swirl his tongue around the peaks of my nipples before sucking on them in a not-so-tender sort of way. 

_Fucking hell, Ben!_ This felt so damn good. The next time I'd made him go down on me, but there would be plenty of time for that later. But right now, the only thing I ached for more than his mouth on me, was his cock. I wanted it inside me, pushing and driving me to my limits.

Stretching me, filling me to the brim. I had been such a liar to think that I would probably one day find a better dick than this, but that had been a complete fucking lie. Because I wouldn't.

"Of this," I said. "Of loving someone so fully that I can't be without them. I was worried about what it would do to my career. To my life," I added.

Ben's mouth made my head feel all fuzzy, and it was getting more and more difficult to think clearly. _He_ had that effect on me, just him. 

His attention to my chest was interrupted when he brought his gaze up to meet mine. "Y-You love me?" he asked. "Rey, look, you don't need to say that just because I did."

"Ben?" I said. His named tasted so good on my tongue, sweet and rough like the man himself. "No more lies, remember? We're done with those. If I say that I love you, it's because I mean it."

His smile beamed for a moment before he lowered his head and I couldn't see his face anymore. Once we were both naked, we looked for an available surface to make up for the lost time we missed while we were apart.

I wrapped my legs around him as he held me up, kissing my neck and carrying me to the edge of the bar to set me on top of it. It wasn't long before he was hovering over me too, lining himself up and pressing into my entrance. 

I dug my nails into his back as he pumped into me over and over and over gain, both of us racing to the end because we knew this was only the beginning of our adventure together. As Ben and Rey.

We could do this again and again, forever. And forever sounded like a perfect amount of time. Neither of us spoke aloud. Our eyes and actions said more than any words could've. We'd talked enough, and now wasn't a time to talk.

So we let our heavy breathes and racing heartbeats tell the other that we were getting close. But the urge to tell him---the desire to tell him became too overwhelming for me to exist. I wasn't sure before, but now, I was certain that I wanted to be with this man for the rest of my life.

"Ben..." I said through rough pants, lifting my head slightly off the counter to look at him. His contorted face was lost in the pleasure as our bodies meshed together as one. "....do it." 

"D-Do what?" he asked.

"Cum," I answered, grasping both his cheeks and kissing him firmly on the lips. "I _want_ you to do it. _Please_ , cum inside me!"

"W-What?" he said, looking down at me with wide eyes. "R-Rey, we've never had sex without protection before---"

"It didn't stop you before now did it?" I said, now leaning forward and kissing him hard on the lips.

I was referring to that time we had sex in the shower, in and out of my bed, and the last time before we split up. He hadn't worn a condom then either but had graciously pulled out at the last second like the gentlemen that he was. Now, I didn't want that. I wanted to feel him, all of him and quite frankly, I wasn't going to take no for an answer. 

"Please, Ben..." I was practically begging at this point as I racked my hands down his back, breaking the skin to reveal small droplets of blood. I was a woman on edge---I _needed_ this release as much as I _needed_ him. "Fill me up....cum inside me, fucking ruin my insides with that hot, cum of yours!"

"A-Are you sure?" he asked me, slowly his thrusts to look at me, his still that of shock.

"Ben, I'm more sure of this than I am of anything," I replied, nodding. 

"As long as you are," he said before, grabbing a firm hold on my hips and snapping forward. I let out a shriek so loud that I was a bit surprised that the windows of the restaurant didn't shatter into a thousand tiny little pieces. 

"F-Fuck, Ben, yes....keep--keep going, I'm so close," I moaned. "Yes! just like that! Fuck, you're big, thick cock is so good inside me!"

The feeling his cock plunging deeper into my channel, hitting my cervix was almost too much for me to take. I gripped the sides of the counter so hard that I felt sure the metal lining was going to break at any second. Hearing those words of my approval, egged him on and before I could even comprehend what was happening my felt the walls of my pussy convulse and I was gushing all over his lower abdomen and onto the floor.

His thrusts had become frantic, sloppy even and he threw his head back and I felt it---felt him. His cock twitched several times as he painted the insides of my hot wading channel, filling me to the brim with sticky ropes of his cum. 

My lips fell into an "O" as I felt some of it slip out of me and trickle down the side of my thighs. My God, why hadn't I ever allowed him to do that before? This felt....amazing!

Ben kissed me, a slow and lingering kiss, before slowly climbing off me and the bar and then finally helping me get down. We quickly headed for the bathrooms to clean up. "You know, we can never _ever_ tell your dad that we had sex on the bar," I said.

"Well, technically, it's your bar now," Ben said. "We'll just tell him we stayed on your half of it while we fucked."

My jaw dropped before I realized that he was only kidding. The nerve of this man---yes, this man, the man who just fucked me on a bar counter, the man who I loved. I grinned to myself thinking, I am so fucking happy that we found our way back to each other and I hope he's ready because I have no intention of ever letting him go again.

"Benjamin Organa-Chewbacca Solo, I really hope you didn't mean that because if your dad finds out that we had sex at his restaurant, yes he still co-owns it, we will never hear the fucking end of it and we might even be thrown out--"

He laughed. "Or we'll just tell him that we Lysoled the living hell out of it _and_ the floor and hope that no one notices it on opening night. That sounds good to me, yes?"

"Sounds like a plan to me, Solo."


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.....we're finally at the end ya'll!!! I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it!!

BEN SOLO

_Two years later...…_

I slid my hand from Rey's lower back, stopped walking, and turned to face her. She stopped with me. Silently, I took in the glow of her skin, the way her hair fell softly in soft waves over her shoulders, how beautiful she looked. 

For a moment, my attention focused on the pendant she now wore around her neck---the very same one I'd never thought I'd take off mine---and I wondered how I'd gone my whole life trying to resist this feeling. It was absolutely perfect. 

I took her hand and brought it up to my lips for a quick kiss. "Are you ready for this?" I asked before turning toward the restaurant again and beginning to walk slowly.

"I'm very excited. What about you?"

"Excite is one word for it, I suppose." I could sense her staring at me more than I could see it. "I'm only kidding. It'll be fun."

I hoped at least, anyway. Gender reveals weren't normally on my agenda of things to do, and the few that I'd been to had been less than enthralling, but of course this one would be different because it was our baby. Once inside, we were greeted by our family and friends. Rey's mom gave me a kiss on the cheek, even though I'd just seen her a few days prior. 

And her father shook my hand before pulling me into a near bone-crushing hug. "So how's my grandson doing?" he asked, and I had to laugh.

Both our families had been texting us nonstop possible names and using gender-specific pronouns for weeks, hoping to get us to slip up. But we were a vault that couldn't be cracked.

Kylo even took me out for way too many bears the night he found our Rey was pregnant, and somehow I'd still managed to keep it a secret. 

"Nice try," I said to Rey's father. "You'll find out soon enough."

"Fine, fine," he replied, and again I couldn't help but think the reason we were all here as a result of me banging and knocking up his daughter. 

I hoped the thought hadn't crossed his mind as often as it had crossed mine. It'd made things awkward as hell. 

"So let's cut the cake now," Mee-maw called from across the room. She was approaching us holding two gifts that she struggled to see over. 

"Grandma, you didn't have to bring us anything. I'll have a shower when it gets closer." 

"Nonsense," she said as she let go of the presents and allowed me to take them. "And they aren't even for _you._ They're for the baby. Don't tell me I can't get my great-grandchild something when I want to. That baby'll be spoiled if I have any say of it."

Rey just rolled her eyes and said a genuine thank-you to Mee-Maw before giving her a quick kiss on her wrinkled cheek. "Is it okay if we open them a little later?"

"Did you not hear me just tell you that aren't yours? When the baby comes, she can open them."

"I very much doubt a newborn will be able to open these," I said. "And how do you know the baby's even a girl?"

Mee-Maw just laughed like the question itself was a ridiculous one before excusing herself to get some food, which we insisted everyone else do as well before it was time to cut the cake.

The suspense was literally killing everyone as they helped themselves to roast beef, tossed salad, and some sides prepared by the chef at Leia's.

People nibbled on cookies, including Rey, who'd developed a sweet tooth she'd never had before the pregnancy. It was hilarious seeing her sneaking cookie after cookie from the table---but I smiled because it warmed my heart. She was, after all, my wife and everything about her was special to me. 

"Who's hungry for some cake?" my dad said, already holding the box he'd picked up from the bakery for us.

Rey had ordered the cake and knew the owner, who had sworn to keep the secret just that. My dad set down the box on the table in the middle of the room and looked to the two of us.

"Can we open it?" he asked, looking like a little kid at his own birthday party.

I turned to look at Rey. "I'm okay with it if you are," she said.

Hoping that my smile answered for me, I put my arm around her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Then I lifted the lid of the box and handed Rey the knife.

"Wait, wait, where's Elena?" she asked, standing on her toes to see over the surrounding people.

Snap brought his beer to his lips and said, "I think one of the girls spilled something on herself, and Elena's changing her in the bathroom."

We waited a few more minutes for Elena, which meant that we had to listen to Rey's cousin tell us that gender reveals were becoming less popular due to people's hesitance to assign their child a gender before birth. 

At a loss for any words that wouldn't further his explanation, I managed to provide a "Huh, interesting."

Mee-Maw looked confused, but luckily Elena appeared with their youngest daughter before the older woman had a chance to ask the young man to elebatorate on that theory. 

Rey made a show out of letting the knife cut through the white icing slowly before she pulled out the first piece of reveal a pink cake inside. The room filled with laughter, screams, and some rather exciting cruising from my brother. 

"I gonna have a nice! I'm an uncle! UNCLE KYLO!"

Once things quieted down a bit, Rey's cousin, Richard asked. "So is it a girl or a boy?"

"A girl," pretty much everyone answered.

Rey's other two cousins nearly squealed with delight. "I simply can't wait to buy her a bunch of super cute pink outfits!"

"I asked because in the eighteen hundreds, pink was more a masculine color," Richard then said. "Many boys actually wore pink because the men wore red and boys are just little men. Girls were actually the ones who wore blue much of the time."

"Shut up, Richard," Mee-Maw said. "So tell us, do you have a name picked out yet, or are you keeping that one a secret too?" 

Rey and I looked at each other and I said, "No, _that_ we'll share with everyone. She's going to be Leia."

My dad came over immediately and hugged us both, and the tears in his eyes were the first one I'd ever seen there. "I'm so happy for you guys," he said. "You'll be amazing parents!"

He'd told me so many times that I'd make a wonderful father, and it was rather difficult to agree with him at the time because I'd never pictured myself as one. The only thing that made me believe him was that he was a great father, so I figured he might be a good judge. 

"Oh, before I forget, your friend at the bakery gave me another box, Rey. He didn't charge you for that one. Said it's his gift to you two."

"That's nice of him. We should've put it out earlier," I said. "It's probably cookies or something."

"No, he told to wait to open it until you opened the cake box." 

"I'll go and grab it," I headed to the kitchen and brought it out, cutting the tape with my fingers. When I lifted the lid, I was surprised by the contents inside. "Why would he give us another cake?" I asked. "There aren't that many people here."

Rey pressed her lips together before letting them slide into a smile. "Because, Ben, it's for the second baby." she said slowly, quietly, like she was scared for my well-being.

My eyes widened, and I found myself getting extremely light-headed. "Oh dear God, I think I need to sit down."

How the hell had I not know there were two babies? I'd missed one appointment when I'd come down with a stomach bug, but Rey hadn't mentioned anything to me about it when she's gotten back home. 

"Are you serious or are you just messing with me? Two? We're having two babies? At once?"

She nodded, and the rest of the room was silent. Or at least it felt that way. "So maybe this wasn't the best way for me to tell you, but when I found out, you were sick, and I didn't think the news would make you feel any better. Then I thought it would be a fun surprise."

She shrugged like she'd been withholding a small gift from me instead of life-changing news. "Oh trust me, it's a surprise all right. The fun part is yet to be determined."

"Ha!" My dad laughed loudly. "Twins. Who would've guessed. I always thought they skipped a generation."

"You see, I always thought that too," Rey said. "But apparently the egg can split at any time, which is what happened in my case, which also means---"

"It's a girl," I said so softly, I wasn't even sure if I'd actually vocalized it.

"It's also a girl."

The room fell silent. Whether they were waiting to see if they needed to call 9-1-1 or they were just unsure of how to react, I wasn't quite sure. 

"So you're telling me that I'm going to have twin girls," I said more to myself than to anyone else.

And then I imagined it. Holding two little babies, both in bright pink, my fingers in their tiny, fragile hands as I rocked them; dropping two small girls off at kindergarten and hoping that no boys chased them on the playground; walking each one down the aisle on their wedding day.

And suddenly I couldn't picture my life without them in it. And as I looked over at my wife gazing lovingly at me, I realized that if it was my destiny to be surrounded by beautiful, kind women, then my life turned out pretty much perfect.

But our daughters better not try to take twin boys. That shit was definitely not happening, not if _I_ had had any say in the matter. 

THE END


End file.
